


Garden Spells

by Forbidden_Lover



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artist Dean Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bisexual Gabriel (Supernatural), Brief Mentions Of Past Relationships, Brief mention of character deaths, Caterer Castiel, Domestic Violence, F/M, Falling In Love, First Time Blow Jobs, Food, Interrupting Sam Winchester, M/M, Magic, Romance, Slow Burn, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Teacher Dean Winchester, garden sex, sex outside
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2019-10-12 12:07:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 55,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17467256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forbidden_Lover/pseuds/Forbidden_Lover
Summary: Supernatural AU -A rework of Sarah Addison Allen’s “Garden Spells” Castiel is a caterer specializing in edible plants. He is set in his way and doesn’t like change. His quite, ordered life gets turned upside down when his wayward brother Gabriel returns home after 18 years with a daughter in tow. To top everything of  a beautiful green eyed man named Dean Winchester moves in next door and is determined to worm his way into Castiel’s life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you enjoy my first fanfic after 10 years.  
> It is a rework of my favorite book “Garden Spells” by Sarah Addison Allen. If you haven’t read it already I highly recommend it.  
> To ease myself back into writing it follows the book pretty closely. It will start to veer into it’s own story around chapter 4, while still keeping some of my favorite moments in the books in the story. So if you have read the book, this won’t be the same in the long run. Please don’t use or eat any of the plants, herbs or flowers mentioned in this story without researching them and how to use them in medicine and eating. I can’t take any responsibility for illness because of this.  
> I hope I do the book justice, and I hope you enjoy it!

**Prologue**

When Castiel would fall sleep gardening during the full moon, he would dream of his childhood.

Of winding roads and travelling in the back of beat up cars. Wondering if his mother would return. He spent a childhood scared and frightened, never sure what was going to happen. He would dream of when Gabriel was born and how his mother had decided to give him, the new baby, stability and not Castiel.

In his dreams she would sprout giant wings from her back and fly to Lawrence, Kansas. The only reason Castiel was allowed to come was because he clung to her legs as she flew. Then she would leave them on a door step, the baby in a basket and kiss them good-bye and disappear in a mist.

**Chapter 1**

_Lawrence Kansas._           

Castiel woke up with his face pressed into the dew wet grass. He tasted bitterness on his tongue as he thought about his dream and he spat it out onto the ground. He regretted how he treated his brother growing up, but as a child he had been so jealous of Gabriel. Of the roots their mother gave him by having a stable home. Of Gabriel not having to worry about where the next meal was coming from. Of always being warm and safe. And though their mother had always provided for Castiel in the end, it had made him nervous and closed off to the world.

He sat up, brushing the soil and grass from his body and hair as he collected his gardening tools. He stood stiffly and walked towards the tool shed, but he hesitated, looking around him at the garden.

The Novak garden was peaceful in the early morning. The mist curling close to the ground, no breeze disturbed the leaves, but the temperamental apple tree shiver, like an animal dreaming.

Castiel bent down and pressed a hand to the ground, feeling the damp collect on his palm.

Generations of Novak’s had tended this garden, their past was in the soil, but so was their future. Castiel frowned unable to decipher the feeling that had overcome him. He sighed and continued to the shed. Whatever it was, he would know soon enough.

After he had cleaned the garden tools and placed them into their spots. He closed and locked the heavy gate to the garden and crossed the drive way to his house, an all-white Queen Anne style home. The Novak’s had lived in Lawrence for many generations and had chosen to mostly keep to themselves. Their garden of flowers and plants that could cure different ailments and illness along with being able to be made into different foods that could influence relationships and perceptions, was viewed by locals with awe, jealous and suspicion.

The Novak’s guarded their knowledge fiercely, and only passed it on to their children, knowing that outsiders could be cruel and misuse that knowledge. Locals viewed them as odd and reclusive, at one time the women were labelled as witches, even though nearly all Novak’s had biblical names.

In the end, the town still need their cures and concoctions so left them to their ways in the big white house. Happy to gossip about them during daylight hours but still willing sneak over to the house under the cover darkness to beg for help on things only the garden could cure.

Castiel entered through the side door, which actually was the sun-room that he had converted to a drying room for his herbs and flowers. It smelt strongly of chamomile, lavender and peppermint. He striped of out of his cotton pajama bottoms and balled them up, walking through the house naked.

He had a lot on today. He had a dinner party to cater for that evening and it was the last Tuesday of the month, so he had to deliver his shipment of jellies, vinegars and honey to the farmers market and to the gourmet grocery store in town.

The doorbell rang as he was coming down the stairs drying his hair with a towel. He was dressed in a white button through shirt and black dress pants.  When he opened the door he smiled, when he saw the red headed women on his porch.

“Hello Castiel, dear,” she said with a Scottish drawl.

“Rowena.” And Castiel bent down to hug her.

Rowena was a distant relative two or three times removed. But as she was the only family he had left living close by, he clung to her, needing the connection to family after his grandmother had died and Gabriel had left eighteen years ago.

To Castiel, Rowena seemed ageless, and as a child he loved when she visited not just because she liked wearing long formal gowns and couture clothing but she always brought gifts that would be useful.

Like Band-Aids hours before he fell off his bike and scrapped his knees, or quarters for the ice cream truck long before it arrived. His most vivid memory of her giving him a torch nearly a month before a huge storm blew a tree over a power line and the whole neighborhood was in total darkness that night. When Rowena gave you a gift, no matter how strange, you accepted; because sooner or later you would need it.

“Well, don’t you look handsome” she said eyeing him up and down before brushing past him, her emerald green gown skimming the ground and her black tote slung over her arm.

“I was about to make some coffee, would you like some? Or would a cup of tea be more suited?” asked Castiel as he closed the door.

Rowena paused at the kitchen island placing her bag on the black marble, hopping up on to one of the bar stools by it.

“Aye, go on. I’ll have coffee. You do make good coffee.”

Castiel smiled as he fiddled with the coffee maker and pouring them both cups, adding milk to each and handing it to her.

She peered into the mug. “You didn’t add anything did you?”

“You know I didn’t.”

“Good. I can weave my own magic, thank you.”

They sipped their coffee in comfortable silence.

“I hate summer!” Rowena declared dramatically.

Castiel snorted, “Why would you hate summer? Summer is wonderful, all the flowers the air is filled with the scent of them. Eating tomatoes still warm from the bush. Warm nights.”

Rowena just looked him like he was mad “Because, all the collage kids leave town and I don’t have any nice backsides to look at!”

Castiel chocked on his coffee.

“Well, it’s true!” she exclaimed. “Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed Castiel.”

“I’m too busy for that Rowena.”

“You could make time.” She muttered. Castiel just fixed a stare at her over his coffee cup.

“Oh, I bought you something!” she lent down and picked up her bag and rummaged through it, before pulling out a pack of gum.

“Thank you Rowena.” Said Castiel as he pocketed the gift. “I’m sure it will come in handy.”

Rowena shrugged, her red hair tumbling down her back.

“Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? I just had to give it to you.”

She looked over to the covered cake dome, which held a tall perfectly white cake with sugared violets cascading down the sides.

“Who is the cake for?”

“The dinner party I am catering for tonight. It’s a white cake with violet petals stirred through the batter and sugared violets on the top. This one,” he said turning and pulled a Tupperware container towards in on the bench, lifting the lid. “Is for you, no flowers or herbs. Just good old fashioned White cake.”

Rowena beamed at him. “You know me so well Castiel.” Castiel smiled and cut her a wedge and putting it on a plate for handing her a cake fork.

“Mmmm,” hummed the red head as she took a spoonful of cake in her mouth.

“Why aren't you married when you cook like this? When I’m gone, who will you look after?”

Castiel shrugged “I thought I would be a bachelor. This house is perfect for it. I’ll be vexed by the local children as they try to get to the apple tree and I will yell at them from the porch. Maybe I’ll get a cat or five.”

Rowena just shook her head. “You are a strange one Castiel. Your problem is routine. You are too attached to this place, like your grandmother.”

The dark haired man smiled quietly. He liked being compared to his grandmother. He like the security of being attached to a name which he hadn’t fully understood until about a month after his mother had returned with him to Lawrence.

Gabriel had just been born and people from town where coming to visit his mother at the house. He had been out in the garden, making tiny villages with twigs. A couple came out of the house and looked at Castiel playing. “He is a Novak that one.” They muttered. “Off in his own world.” Castiel didn’t react, but he had to hold on to the grass to stop from floating off he was so happy.

He was a Novak. He finally belong somewhere. And he was terrified someone would take away his happiness. From that moment on he, followed his grandmother everywhere. Learnt how to be a Novak. Desperate to be the BEST Novak, so no one would question if he should be part of a family. At that age he didn’t fully understand what it meant to be a Novak in this town.

“Do you need me to drive you home? I have a delivery to make in town. I could drop you off.”

“Aye, I’ll come along. I need to visit the grocery store.”

While Castiel made his deliveries, Rowena glided around the town square. She visited the grocery store and after she found the few food items she needed she felt a very insistent itch.

“Aww bollocks!” she muttered “What now?” she stood a minute trying to decided.

She needed to give Castiel another gift, or was it two? She let it guide her around the shop until she stood in front of a set of pale purple double bed sheets. She added them to her basket.  Now what else? She ended up looking at all the pop – tarts. That was weird. Castiel didn’t even eat pop tarts. She let her wander hand over the flavors till it landed on the strawberry ones. She put the box in her basket and headed to the register to pay.

“Castiel!” she called “here you go angel.” She dumped her gift in his arms. Castiel promptly dropped the tarts. “Rowena, I don’t eat these.” He said as he picked up the box.

“Aye I know.”

“Then why?”

“Well I don’t know, do I?”

He placed them on the vans passenger seat of the van. “Thank you.” She waved a hand dismissing his thanks and took him into a hug.

“I will see you soon Castiel.”

Castiel held her tightly before hopping in his van to continue his day.

 

 ***

 

Castiel arrived at Missouri Mosley’s house late in the afternoon. Missouri lived in a cul-de-sac neighborhood, not far from the college campus. As Missouri was a campus professor, specializing in the occult, it made sense that she would live close by to work.

“Castiel! Come in!” the short motherly women exclaimed as she held the door open for Castiel, as he carried in coolers and food items that need refrigerating straight away.

“Do you need any help?” she asked

“No, thank you. I’m fine.” He smiled down at the women.

Spring and summer where his busiest times of the year for catering for parties and functions. He usually liked to hired first year culinary students from the collage. People from away, not locals, so that the only questioned they asked were food based. Locals tended to think they would learn magic or be able to steal an apple from the tree in the backyard, to see if the legend was true. If you eat an apple from the Novak tree, it would tell you what the biggest event in your life would be.

Castiel went to Missouri’s kitchen and started to put things in the fridge. 

He brought in the rest of his things from the van. Missouri liked using her own hand made plates, so Castiel carefully arranged the meals on to the rustic plates.

There was fresh garden salad, yucca soup, pork tenderloins stuffed with nasturtiums, chives and goat’s cheese, lemon verbena sorbet between courses to cleanse the pallet and the violet white cake for dessert.

Castiel kept busy, clearing plates, arranging meals, monitoring the stove. It was one of the most formal events he catered for. The people in attendant were mostly professors and their spouses. Mostly casual people who were there for good conversation and unusual food.

When Castiel worked alone, he didn’t focus on the people he was serving too much, just what he had to do next and how to keep the night running smoothly. Plus he had never really been a people person, so it was just easier to work and not interact.

Castiel was aware of _HIM_ though. He had just entered with the first course and while everyone else watched the food as it was placed in front of them  _HE_ watched Castiel.

He had short blonde hair and full plush lips. His hands were large but elegant. He had the greenest eyes Castiel had ever seen. And with every course that was bought out the man continued to stare at Castiel. The air around them seem to be charged with electricity every time Castiel went near him. Castiel tried not to make eye contact because every time he did, his breath left him and he stopped in his tracks.

Castiel moved around the table placing the desserts on the table and as he reached the man he felt all the hairs on his arm stand on end, as he lent over the man’s shoulder placing the perfect slice of cake in front of him.

The man turned his head and Castiel inhaled sharply pulling away quickly. He smelt nice. Like soap and leather, and a hint of something else maybe earth.

“Have we met?” the man asked ignoring his dessert.

“I don’t think so,” murmured Castiel.

“That’s Castiel Novak, my caterer.” Missouri announced. “Castiel this is Dean Winchester. He has just moved back to Lawrence and is teaching here at the collage.”

“Novak….” Dean said thoughtfully. Castiel went to move away. “Oh I know!” Dean laughed reaching out and grabbing the caterer’s wrist. “You’re my neighbor! You live in the Queen Anne, right?”

Castiel was taken back by being touched and just gave a jerky nod. “I just bought the blue house next yours a few weeks ago.”

Castiel just blinked at him before taking his arm back and retreating the kitchen where he finished tidying and packing things into the fridge to leave. He was packing the boxes to go into his van, when Missouri entered and gave him a check for his work and thank him for the wonderful food.

He was tired and felt irritable, which was because he slept in the garden and not because of Dean Winchester, as he put the boxes in the van before sliding the door closed.

He turned to get into the van when he noticed a long black muscle car and someone leaning against it.

“Hey, Castiel!” Dean called, as he pushed himself off the car and trotted towards the other man.

Castiel closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Hello Dean,”

“Do you have any gum?”

“Gum?”

“Yeah, I, ah, quite smoking a little while ago, and I went cold turkey so I chew gum to help.”

Castiel sighed and nodded, stepping towards the other man pulling the gum that Rowena had given him earlier from his pocket. It would be so much easier if Rowena knew the reason behind her strange gift giving.

As he got closer to the blonde man he had to force himself to stop as the pull to the other man was too much. All he wanted to do was crowd into his personal space and stare into those green eyes.

Dean smiled a dazzling easy going smile, hands in his pockets of his brown leather jacket.

“Do you smoke?” he asked Castiel.

“No.”

“Oh, with a voice like that I thought you must have….” He trailed off.

Castiel held out the packet but Dean made no move to take it. Dean shifted his feet

“You have an amazing garden by the way. I was admiring it, when I was mowing my lawn. Do you make the food from the plants in your garden? Is this your own business?” he rambled on before stopping and looking at Castiel.

“Sorry I’m rambling. You don’t talk much do you? Or have I offended you already?” He leaned forward “Was I my underwear in the garden again?” he smirked.

Castiel gave a little involuntary start. He often forgot that from the neighbor’s second story windows you could see straight into his sun-room where he had been naked this morning. Was this stranger hinting at that?

“It was a lovely meal, I don’t usually get to eat such fancy things. My brother would have really loved it.”

Dean was still trying to get him to talk.

“Thank you.”

“Ah, maybe I’ll see you again sometime?” asked Dean hopefully. Castiel shook himself out of his trance.

Castiel shoved the gum at him.

“Here, keep it.” And he turned away, climbing into his van.

He did not need someone like Dean Winchester in his life. He was fine. He had his garden, his business and Rowena. Letting anyone else in would only hurt him.

Castiel’s house was dark when Dean arrived home, parking his car in his own drive. Not really surprising, after Castiel left, he had went back inside and talked some more with Missouri.

Dean stood by his car breathing in the night air, he wasn’t quite ready to go in yet. He couldn’t stop thinking about the caterer Castiel. He turned the name over in his head, it was strange. He hadn’t heard anything like it before. He made a note to ask the other man about it when he saw him again.

The dark haired man had caught his attention immediately. He was beautiful. Dark messy bed hair, high cheek bones, a straight nose, three day scruff and blue eyes like the ocean, that Dean thought he could get lost in.

But it wasn’t just that. It was how Castiel looked at him, like he was trying to figure Dean out, than he would shy and look away. Like it was all too much. Dean had never felt a connection like it. He wanted to unravel Castiel in every way.

He turned his head towards the ticking noise on the sidewalk as a terrier raced part, soon followed by a curvy bond women whose name was Donna.

“Need any help Donna?” he called

“No, it’s okay Dean, I’ll catch him! The little bugger!” she yelled as she passed.

Dean at learnt this was a fairly regular occurrence, sometimes happening more the twice a day. Dean laughed. He liked being back in his home town. It had been a long time. It had changed but it was still the same. He had spent most of his childhood on the road with his father and brother Sam, after the death of their mother, when he was 4 and Sam was 6 months old, travelling for work. It had been hard, not having a mom and not having a dad there sometimes too, but Dean coped with the constant changes better than Sam had, who had left for law school as soon as he was old enough.

Dean was content with his life moving from town to town, working as a mechanic, he was free. But it was after their father died, that Sam encouraged Dean to finally get a teaching degree in art, majoring in sculpting.

Sam had moved back to Lawrence about 8 years ago and had been living with his girlfriend, Jess, when she was tragically killed by a drunk driver after returning from a party with Sam. Sam was uninjured but depressed without Jess in his life. He moved in with Bobby Singer, who was like a surrogate father to the boys, unable to live in the house he and Jess had shared. He eventually got a position at the local collage teaching law.

Dean had returned to Lawrence when Sam had told him a position had come up for an art professor. It all made sense, it meant he could return home, have a regular job and be near to Sam and help with Bobby who had been bound to a wheel chair after a hunting accident. Not that the old man would ever admitting to needing help.

Donna came back, now with a wriggling terrier in her arms. “Oh Scamp, why do you always run away from Mommy?” she was cooing at him.

Dean laughed “Good night Donna.”

“G’night Dean!” she replied still trying to restrain the pup.

Dean turned towards a noisy thump behind his house, and frowned. He headed towards the freshly mowed lawn. It still had piles of cut grass on it, and he should probably rake it up, but that would be tomorrow’s job. He made his way over the metal fence, covered in honey suckle, dividing him and Castiel’s yard.

He had already yelled at a few kids who had broken into his yard and was attempting to climb the high metal fence. When he asked them why, they told him it was to get to the apple tree. He was confused, and told them there were at least six mature trees on the town common they could go to, why risk climbing the dangerous fence? They had looked at Dean like he was crazy. They told him the Novak’s apple tree was special.

As he ran his hand along the vine covered fence his foot kicked a small pink apple. _Strange_ , Dean thought as he picked it up. He couldn’t even see the apple tree from his yard. He continued along the fence and found another. Looking ahead he could see a trail of apples leading, like bread crumbs, to the fence where a pile of apples sat. He placed his collected apples on the pile. He decided to box them tomorrow and take them to Castiel, perhaps he used them in his cooking. If anything it was an excuse to see the quite blue eyed man again. There was something about Castiel that he felt drawn to. He couldn’t explain it. But he knew he definitely wanted to see him again.

Dean plucked an apple from the pile and bit into it as he walked back at the house. He poured himself a glass of water and headed upstairs, still munching his apple. He fell asleep so quickly he didn’t even remember getting into bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair Warning now, this chapter deals with domestic violence and rape, so if it's a trigger or not your thing please skip this chapter. It does have a point to the story, but I understand if its too painful to confront.
> 
> ALSO
> 
> A note on name changes. Luke = Lucifer, Lockie = Loki.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, all the characters will be together soon.

**Chapter 2**

_10 days earlier,_

_Seattle._

When Gabriel had left Lawrence eighteen years ago, he had dreamt of being a comedian. So when he finished high school, he headed straight to New York.

And he had a few gigs here and there, but nothing permeant. He had moved city to city, waiting tables, doing stand-up gigs, bedding both men and women, scamming people all along the way. In the end he had to change his name to Lockie Richardson.

But then he meet and fell hard for Kali, she was as changeable as him and didn’t want to settle down. It wasn’t until she fell pregnant that Gabriel realized he wanted to give her everything. That he realized, how important the woman had become to him.  Even if Kali didn’t want what he was offering, he was determined to be a good father and provider for his little family.

The birth had been long and difficult and at the end, Anna had been born but Kali had died and it broke Gabriel.

He was a single father, supporting a 6 month old when he first meet Luke. He was handsome and charismatic and made Gabriel laugh again. Within 2 months he and Anna had moved in with Luke.  Luke seemed to be smitten with small baby, who never cried, who just watched the world with big brown eyes, the only thing she had inherited from her mother. Their life was perfect.

Or so it seemed.

After about a year together, Luke changed.

He would go out with a few friends drinking and come home drunk. When Gabriel confronted him about it, after the fifth time in a row, Luke had punched him. Gabriel had fell back and hit his head on the stair rail. He was shocked and hurt and Luke had apologized so much, kissing him and tell him he didn’t know what happened.

Luke took him to the hospital where he got six stitches in the back of his head and two in his lip. He told the nurses that it was an accident when they both had been out together. The nurse nodded, and all was fine.

But it continued to happen. More and more without the influence of alcohol and just a sheer rage that Luke seem to have brewing inside of him.

Gabriel decided to leave. He packed Anna up and took the car and drove. When he finally stopped at a small safe looking town, he enrolled in a craft confectionery class, got a job in a bakery and got Anna into day care. He was leaving the bakery he worked at one morning when he smelt it.

The smell of Lavender and Chamomile. Like Lawrence, like home. It seemed to be coming from the bakery, like it wanted him to follow it.

He dismissed it and headed towards the car, where Luke was leaning. Gabriel stopped, too shocked to think.

Luke got him in the car and drove to an abandoned parking lot. Gabriel had never been more scared in his life. Luke punched him till his face was a bloody pulp and his stomach was just pain. Gabriel was thankful he lost consciousness. He woke up, face pressed into the seat, as Luke fucked him.

Luke rented a motel room, so that Gabriel could clean himself up, while Luke ranted at him that it was Gabriel’s fault that he had to do that to him. Gabriel just spat a molar tooth into the sink.

They collected Anna from day care, where Luke was charming and friendly, unlike the monster he had just been. He told the staff that Gabriel had been in a car accident and they were going back to Seattle.

After his first attempt to escape, Gabriel was too scared to try again anytime soon.

Things only got worse, so much worse.

Gabriel was tip toeing around the house hoping not to be noticed. But it didn’t stop Luke’s random and unchecked rage. He would push Gabriel into the laundry, and punch him in the stomach till he was doubled over in pain. Sometimes Gabriel would be quietly making Anna a sandwich when the other man would bend him over the kitchen bench and fuck into him raw, telling him he was never to leave him again.

And it was in those moments, when the tears flowed free and quietly that sometimes he imaged he could smell the Lavender and Chamomile. He later realized he was smelling home. It was on the breeze as it came in an open window, telling him could escape. And that if he was going to run, he was going to flee back there, to the place no one knew who Lockie Richardson was, and he would become Gabriel Novak again.

Gabriel paced nervously in the house, before heading into his five year old daughter’s bedroom, and gently waking the little red head.

“Anna, honey, it’s time to go.”

When Anna opened her eyes, Gabriel pressed his fingers to her lips.

“We’ve got to be quite, remember?” he whispered.

Anna nodded, before slipping quietly from her bed and got dressed in the clothes Gabriel had put out for her, before going to the bathroom, and remembering to not flush the toilet. The units shared walls, and they couldn’t risk Ruby hearing them. Luke was in L.A. for a week, and he always had Ruby, the lady next door, keep an eye on him and Anna while he was away.

Gabriel had been carefully sneaking out clothes and a bit of non-perishable foods in a bag, never deviating from the routine that Luke had set out for them.

It had been 3 months ago, when a women by the name of Pamela came up and asked him, what no one else had been game to ask him. Why all the bruises? Why are you so jumpy?

With Pamela’s help and a good chunk of the money he’d collected from stealing a dollar here and there from Luke’s wallet over the years or the coins from the back of the couch, he managed to buy a car for three hundred dollars. He took the clothing and food he smuggled out to Pamela who was loading the car. And he hoped to god she had parked it where they agreed on Thursday.

It was now Sunday and Luke was coming home today. Luke traveled for work, and when he would come home happy and buzzed from his time away until he wanted sex and Gabriel couldn’t compete with the guys Luke had been while he was away. He had used to be like those guys a long time ago, but not anymore.

“I’m ready,” said Anna quietly as she finished pulling on her shoes. Gabriel knelt down and hugged her. He had tried to protect her, and for the most part Luke never lifted a hand to Anna but, she had been witness, more than once, to the abuse that Gabriel suffered. Gabriel didn’t want his daughter growing up being influenced with that, so as much as Lawrence had it’s faults, he was willing to return to provide Anna with security and to protect her from Luke. He pulled back and rubbed her arms.

“Come on baby,” he tried to hold the tears in. He used to be good at leaving, but now fear was choking him, because he was sure if Luke caught them this time, Gabriel wouldn’t survive, and where would that leave Anna?

He handed Anna her pink unicorn back pack that he had let her pack herself, and took her hand as they headed down stairs.

They went to the lounge room window, as the front and back door could be seen by Ruby. Gabriel opened the window gently. He lift Anna through it to the ground. He then put a suitcase through the window and followed after. They crept through the flowers to the parking lot and down the street. Pamela said that she would leave the car at the park. Keys were above the visor. No insurance and dead number plates. It wasn’t much but it would get them on their way.

The park was only a block away but by the time they arrived it had started to rain. There was only one car in the lot. Gabriel left Anna and jogged over it. It was locked and looked worth more than three hundred dollars. He looked around. Where was it? He spotted another car a little way away but it was far too nice. Panic was starting to build in his chest. He went back to Anna and sat on the kerb, head on his arms trying to control his breathing. The little red head stood next to him and petted through his gold curls. He had to get out of here. He couldn’t be Lockie anymore and he had to protect Anna.

“It will be okay Daddy,” she said

“I know baby, just let daddy think what to do okay.” He wrapped an arm around her legs. The parking lot was quite so when a car pulled it Gabriel flinched pulling Anna closer.

“Lockie?” came Pam’s voice.

“Oh, god”

Gabriel lifted his head and saw a dark haired women in a biker jacket and jeans.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve been driving around waiting for you. I got told if I left the car it would be towed.”

“Oh god,” muttered Gabriel

“It’s okay, Hey, shh, come on buddy, time to get out of here.” She pulled Gabriel to his feet and bustled them into the car, she kissed Anna on the forehead, before turning to Gabriel.

“Drive, as far as you can, don’t stop. Be safe, you hear.”

Gabriel nodded numbly. He was getting out. “Thank you.”

“No problem, Honey.”

A car pulled in behind them, and Gabriel jumped.

“It’s okay. Just my ride.” Pamela told him. “Now go!” Gabriel put the car in drive and left not looking back.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning after Missouri’s party, Castiel was up early to collect mint from the garden. It was for a luncheon at a garden club that was just out of Lawrence he was catering for on Friday. Being a club full of eccentric older ladies, they loved the idea of edible flowers, paid well and gave excellent referrals. He was always excited to get the job but he had been putting off hiring anyone and now he was going to have to hire a local.

He reached the heavy metal fence that protected the garden, it was covered in Honeysuckle so thick you couldn’t see through it. The gate was hidden and the keyhole was impossible to find unless you knew of it. Swinging the gate open he noticed it right away, and narrowed his eyes. Dropping to his knees he inspected the tiny vine shoots sprouting. They were ivy tendrils, reaching for the sky, appearing overnight. It was the garden’s way of telling him something was trying to get in, something pretty but left unattended it would consume the garden. Consume him.

_Dean_.

Castiel ripped at the green, digging deep into the soil to find the roots. He spied another ivy strand by the lilacs. He crawled over intending to get rid of it all. In his haste to rid the garden of the intruder he had left the gate open. He didn’t know how long he was on his knees but he went still as he heard the crunch of footsteps on the gravel pathway that led around the garden. He looked up to see Dean carrying a box of apples.

“Whoa! This place is something!” he said as he looked around enchanted. It was true. It _was_ a spectacular garden. Everything flowered at once, all year round. It was how Castiel was able to provide the goods he did.

“Hi! It’s Dean, from next door.” He said trying to get Castiel's attention from where he was knelt in the dirt by the Lilacs.

The dark haired man raised his left eyebrow at Dean.

“Yes, I remember.” He stood and brushed himself off.

Dean held out the box of apples.

“Ah, these were on my side of the fence, and I didn’t know if you used them in you catering.”

“No I don’t, but thank you.” Said Castiel as he took the box from Dean, who tucked his hands his pockets.

“Don’t you eat apples?” asked Castiel

Dean shrugged “Sometimes. I prefer them in a pie though. My mum used to make the best pie.”

Castiel noticed the past tense, but didn’t comment.

“I have no idea how they got in my yard,” he continued gesturing to the tree down the back of the lot. “It’s so far away…” He trailed off, “Hey, I didn’t know apple trees could have apples during spring and summer.”

Castiel looked at the tree, it wasn’t very tall, it was kind of stunted, but it’s branches reached out to the sides wider than it was tall. It had silvery gnarly bark that twisted and turned into knots. Castiel’s bee boxes placed around the base, the bees floated around the tree.

“Uh, yes, well this is a very old specimen.” He murmured, which was true, it was a very old tree, most likely the only one of it’s kind.

When Castiel was a child the tree would throw apples at his windows, as it was bored and wanted someone to play with. Castiel glared at it.

“It’s just a tree.” He growled. He put the box down and continued to garden. He expected Dean to go if he ignored him long enough but Dean stayed, and watched him work. Seemingly content watching the other man. Castiel would never admit it, but it was nice having someone in the garden with him again, it reminded him of working with his grandmother.

“Is there anything else I can do for you Dean?” he asked not looking at him.

“No, I’m just admiring the view.” Castiel could hear him smile around the sentence, and Castiel felt his neck and ears heat up. He looked over to Dean who was smiling. Castiel noticed how his eyes crinkled at the corners. He stood up and walked around the garden away from Dean, “So, Castiel,” said Dean as he trotted after him “Have you always lived here?”

“Almost always.”

“Almost?”

“I moved back here when I was four not long before my brother was born. I’ve lived here ever since.”

Dean watched him cut into the mint bush. The mint smell enveloped him. 

“What about you?” asked Castiel

“Me? I was born here, when I was four we moved because my mum died, in a house fire. This is the first time being back here permanently. Sammy lives here, has for a while now.”

“Sammy?”

“Yeah, Sam my brother. He is actually out living with Bobby, at the moment.”

“Bobby Singer?”

“Yeah, do you know him?”

Castiel just shrugged and went back to gathering things from his garden.

“So, who are your guests?”

Castiel’s head shot up, “My what?”

“Your guests. As I was coming over there was a car pulling up.

Castiel marched past him, making sure Dean was following, he didn’t trust the apple tree with Dean.

He walked around the house to the front and stopped in his track. It was like he had stepped into a memory. The memory of when his mother turned up here, heavily pregnant and Castiel clinging to her. He saw a battered car and a man leaning against it. A little girl with flaming red hair was running in the front yard. He felt anger, fear, hopelessness, relief.

He forced himself to keep moving forward.

“Gabriel?” he asked. It looked like his brother but this man, didn’t look like the man he remembered. He was thinner and his once beautiful wavy hair was now mattered in places. His face was covered in stubble. His once confident air now gone, replaced with this ghost of a man.

Gabriel jumped at his name, “Hey big brother!”

Castiel stopped short of his brother.

“Where have you been?”

Gabriel shrugged “Oh, you know, everywhere, nowhere.”

“You never called. I didn’t even know if you were alive.”

At that moment the little girl came and hugged Gabriel around the middle.

“Castiel, this is my daughter Anna.” Castiel looked at the little girl. She looked like their grandmother. He felt Dean come up behind him and his hand ghost over his back, stopping at the small of his back. Not really touching but a comforting presence.

“And this is…” asked Gabriel gesturing towards Dean.

“Dean Winchester, I live next door” he answered stepping forward and offering a hand, Gabriel shook it.

“I’m Gabriel Novak, Castiel’s brother.”

“Pleasure. I was just heading off. Castiel, if you need anything…” he trailed off, hand still skimming at his Castiel’s lower back again. Castiel frowned looking at Dean, confused, he didn’t want Dean to go, but he of course couldn’t stay.

“I, yes, I’ll will see you around Dean.” He took in Dean’s lovely face as the green eyed man gave him a soft smile, and turned away down the street to his own home. And Castiel’s eyes trailed after him.

Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows at his brother “He’s hot Cas, tell me you are tapping that.” Some of his impish characteristics showed on his face. Castiel just narrowed his eyes.

“Novak. You said your name was Novak. I thought you hated that name.”

Gabriel shrugged, “It’s still my name, like it or not.”

“And what about your daughter, Anna? Is she a Novak?”

“Of course.” Said Gabriel bending down and kissing the red haired girl, “Go play Anna, Uncle Cas and I have to talk.”

They watched as she ran off playing on the grass in the front yard.

“Where is her mother Gabriel?” asked Castiel.

“She – ah, she died, in child birth.”

There was a little gasp from his brother. “I’m sorry.”

Gabriel just nodded silently. “Yeah so am I.” after a pause he asked quietly “How is Grandma?”

“She died ten years ago, just before Christmas.”

“I – kinda knew, but I had – hoped.” Gabriel rubbed his eyes, brushing the tears pooling there.

Castiel regarded his brother a little coolly his jaw flexing as he ground his teeth.

“What are you doing here, Gabriel?”

“I – I need a place to stay.”

Castiel nodded “For how long?”

Gabriel scuffed his shoe, “I dunno really.”

“You can’t leave Anna here.” He said sharply to his brother.

“Excuse me?!” exclaimed Gabriel.

“You can’t leave her here, like Mom left us. I won’t let you.”

Gabriel step forward to his brother “I would, NEVER, leave my daughter!” he hissed.

Castiel narrowed his eyes at him, there was something Gabriel wasn’t telling him.

“Good.”

Gabriel visibly relaxed, shoulders slumping.

“So, can we stay?”

Castiel regarded his brother, he couldn’t turn him away, he was family; and the little girl, and he glanced at her looking up at the sky her hair falling in ribbons down her back.

“Yes, you can stay.” He nodded.

Gabriel’s raised his head in shock. “Really?”

“Yes, now have you and Anna had breakfast?”

The shorter man shook his head.

“Ok, well I’ll go and make breakfast.” Castiel turned and headed up the front steps. “Pull the car in to the garage.”

Gabriel nodded and called to Anna, who came trotting over and crouched down to face her.

“How you doing kiddo?”

“I’m okay daddy. Do we get to stay?”

“Yes, for now anyway.”

The little girl just looked at her father. “I like it here. It feels right.”

Gabriel gave her a soft smile and wrapped her in a hug. “I’m glad honey. Come on, we will put this hunk of junk in the garage and head in.”

They joined Castiel in the kitchen in a short time later with their few bags and placed them by the wall. The dark haired man moved around the kitchen in a proficient manner, arranging breakfast things.

“Do you like strawberry pop tarts Anna?”

The little girl’s face lit up, “Yes! They are my favorite, how did you know?”

Castiel busied himself with the toaster, and turned towards his brother and niece, leaning on the island bench, “I didn’t, Rowena did.”

“Rowena is still around?” exclaimed Gabriel.

“Of course.” Castiel handed him a cup of coffee, and poured a glass of orange juice for Anna placing it in front of her.

The toaster popped and Castiel arranged the pop tarts on a plate for Anna, who dug in eagerly. Gabriel took a sip of coffee and tasted cinnamon, just like how their grandmother made it.

He realized his hand was shaking and put the cup down on the bench and watched his brother busy himself with making pancakes. He was different than eighteen years ago. He was calmer, more familiar with himself. Comfortable. He had an air of quiet confidence that seem to attract people to him. Gabriel could see Anna was fascinated with his blue eyed brother. He looked at him again. He had grown into his looks as well. He had been a gangly, awkward teen with eyes that were unnerving and people preferred to avoid him than try to break his aloof exterior. He seemed to have filled out as well, if anything was to go by the way his shirt tighten over his chest and arms.

He was handsome Gabriel realized. And it was pretty obvious that the pretty green eyed neighbor had thought so too.

“So you own a catering business now?” he asked. “I noticed the van in the garage.”

“Yes.” He placed the pancakes in front of Gabriel, before bring over a few different syrups. Gabriel opted for the strawberry, pouring it over. How long since they had eaten properly? He had only stopped briefly at gas stations, unwilling to stay too long, so they only ate what they could get. He probably hadn’t slept much in those ten days either. Only catching a few hours here, wanting to get as far away as possible.

The first bite was heaven and he let out a little whimper. He finished the pancakes in no time, but refused a second helping, unsure how his body would cope with a large amount of food.

Castiel cleared the plates and cups, adding them to the dishwasher.

“There are fresh sheets on the bed in your old room, courtesy of Rowena, and the bed is made up in my old room if Anna wants to sleep in there. I sleep in grandma’s old room now.”

It was clearly a dismissal, as Castiel moved around his kitchen pulling baking ingredients from shelves.

Anna hopped of her chair and bounded up the stairs, and Gabriel smiled tiredly. Seeing Anna liked this reminded him that those ten terrifying days on the road were worth it. Worth being safe now for, to see his daughter like this. He picked up their bags and followed her.

Gabriel showed her Castiel’s old room first. It had a bay window that over looked the garden. Anna raced over to inspect it. “Oh, I like this room.” She told him. He nodded. “So did Cas, he would spend hours reading in that seat. Do you want to look at my old room?” Anna followed him out and into his room. He dumped the bags by the door and went to the bed, sighing as he sat down. Nothing had really changed in this room. The same posters where still on the wall, just faded and curling with age. His old desk still a bit messy. Anna was looking out the window.

“I can see the man from next door. He is walking in circles.” She said tilting her head watching him.

Gabriel went to her side and looked out. Sure enough Dean was pacing in his back garden and was looking towards the fence. Gabriel snorted. Oh boy, that neighbor had it bad for his brother.

“It’s okay sweetie, he is just interested in your uncle.” He patted her shoulder and laid back on the bed. Anna came and snuggled up under his arm, and he kissed her forehead.

“Anna, honey, if anyone asks, you can’t tell them where we are from, okay?” she nodded. “Or about Luke, or anything. Do you understand?” another little nod. “You know why don’t you?”

She whispered a tiny “Yes”, going very still in Gabriel’s arms. “Because Luke is a bad man, and we don’t want him to find us.”

Gabriel rubbed her back.

“Yeah, something like that.”

He was starting to drift asleep.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, sweetie.”

“Do you think Uncle Cas likes me?”

The question caught him off guard. “Of course, who wouldn’t like you? You’re an exceptional girl.” She squirmed with praise.

“Thank you.”

“Go to sleep Anna. When we wake up we can have showers and some more food, than go exploring. How does that sound?”

“It sounds nice.”

“Good. You’re safe now sweetie, I’ll never let anything happen to you.”

“I know Daddy.”  She murmured as she snuggled closer, “You’re safe now too.”

Before Anna fell asleep she felt wet tears fall in her hair.


	4. Chapter 4

Gabriel woke with a start, and checked his watch before he realized, in a panic, that Anna wasn’t with him. He stumbled out of his bed and check all the rooms on the second floor before bolting down the stair nearly tripping. The smell coming from the kitchen hit him like a slap in the face. It was warm and yeasty and a combination of earthy herbs and sweet sugary flowers. It was how the house used to smell when he was growing up. It was how his grandmother used to cook. Not that he learnt to cook from her, Castiel had always been jealous of sharing their grandmother’s attention and would hunt Gabriel from the room. Gabriel would sit on the stairs and listen to their soft talking and the sounds of cooking.

He lurched into the kitchen and stopped staring at Anna and Castiel. There was a bowl of lavender buds and a bowl of dandelion greens on the bench along with two loaves of bread by the window cooling.

Anna held a paint brush in her hand, with Castiel by her side guiding her how to paint delicate pansy flowers with egg white before he carefully dipped them in fine caster sugar and placing them on a lined cookie tray.

“Daddy!” cried Anna as she looked up. Castiel lifted her down from her stool and she raced over to Gabriel stumbling as she tripped on the too large apron she was wearing. He caught her and picked her up.

“Hey kiddo! Wow! You guys have been busy. I was only asleep for a couple of hours.”

Castiel frowned at him. “How do you feel?”

“I’m fine, just needed a little nap.”

“Gabriel, you’ve been asleep for twenty-six hours I was starting to get worried.”

Gabriel put his daughter down, who scrambled back up on her stool to paint the pansies.

“What do you mean? I’ve only been asleep for two hours.”

Castiel shook his head, “No, you arrived here yesterday morning.

Gabriel stumbled to the island bench and sat down. His mind was racing. He couldn’t believe he left Anna for that long. Had she said anything? About Luke? About what had happened? Had Castiel looked after her? Did Castiel think he was a bad parent?

“Anna….”

“Anna is fine. She has been helping me. She is quite, but a fast learner. We cooked all day yesterday, we had dinner. I gave her a bubble bath last night and read her a book before bed. And we have been baking again this morning.”

Gabriel just nodded numbly and took the coffee Castiel offer him.

“There is some lavender bread and herb butter or honey if you a hungry. Anna and I have been eating off one loaf, so use that one.” He said turning back to his work.

Gabriel watched his brother for a minute, before he hacked a slice of the loaf and spread it with butter. He wasn’t used to have someone looking after him, especially Castiel.

“I didn’t know you could do all this,” he said as he bit into the slice.

“The lavender bread and dandelion quiche are grandma’s recipes. But some are my own.”

Gabriel cut himself another slice and added honey this time. It tasted perfectly sweet with a slight tang. Like apples?

“Is the honey yours too?”

“Yes, I have bees now.”

“You always did like bees.”

Castiel hummed in agreement. Gabriel moved to Anna’s side.

“Look what I can do Daddy.” She said “I’m crystallizing pansies for the custard cups over there” she pointed to some cream frosted cupcakes.

“You’re doing brilliantly sweetie.” He looked at Castiel’s back “So, this Dean guy, has he been over today?” he asked waggling his eyebrows.

“No!” snapped Castiel, “Why would he?”

Gabriel shrugged, “You two seemed pretty close yesterday.”

“That was the first time he has been here. He was bringing apples that had fell on to his side of the fence.”

“Did you bury them?”

Anna looked up, confused.

“Of course I did.”

“Is Dean single?” Gabriel asked changing the topic back to his brother’s admirer, before Anna could start asking questions about the tree.

“How would I know?” Shrugged Castiel, as he picked up the cookie tray with the pansies turning towards the oven.

“Are you interested?” asked Gabriel.

Castiel slammed the oven door shut. “ _No!_ ” he snapped like a high school girl.

Gabriel laughed.

“Ha, you so are bro. Hey, I’m proud of you, he is certainly easy on the eyes.”

Castiel ignored him.

“He belongs here.” pipped up Anna.

The brothers both turn her.

Gabriel shrugged, “It’s a thing she does. She has very strong opinions on where things belong.”

“Huh,” said Castiel looking curiously at Anna. “Explains how she knew where everything was in the kitchen before I told her. It is curious….”

“Oh no you don’t,” hissed Gabriel. “She is normal, and I will not having you putting that on her.”

Castiel looked hurt, “I wasn’t! No one forced it on you, you just ran away!”

Gabriel laughed sarcastically, “You’re kidding right? No one forced it on me? This whole town did! I tried to be normal and no one wanted to let me forget I was a Novak.”

They all looked up as the pots hanging from the ceiling started to move clinking against each other like there was a breeze. Except there wasn’t, just the energy of the brother’s argument. Gabriel had forgot how sensitive the house was to the energy of the people in it. He sighed.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked looking up at his older brother.

Castiel regarded him thoughtfully. “There is a luncheon on tomorrow, just out of Lawrence. I usually hired a couple of teenagers for the job, but if you up for it and need the cash…” he trailed off.

Gabriel nodded slowly, “Sure thing bro, I mean it’s pretty obvious I need the money.” He grinned slightly at his brother, who gave him a small smile back.

“Good. Do you have black dress pants?”

“Yes, but I don’t have a shirt.”

“I’m sure we could find you something.” Said Castiel. “By the way, Rowena is stopping by soon, she is anxious to see you.” He turned to look at Anna’s work.

“These look very good Anna. You are all done now.” He helped her down again and took the apron off her. Anna had flour on her face and Gabriel brushed it off with his thumb as they went to leave the kitchen.

“Did you- where you a waiter while you were away?” asked Castiel suddenly.

“It was one of the things I did.” Answered Gabriel before turning away. He wasn’t ready to share his past just yet.

***

Gabriel was sitting on the front porch watching Anna do cart wheels in the front yard, when he noticed Rowena coming up the street in a dark blue ground length gown. He chuckled. She hadn’t changed. She stopped at Dean’s house, who was out in his yard raking the grass. They talked for a minute over the fence before Rowena pulled a roll of garbage bags out and handing them to Dean.

Dean seemed surprised that she had them in her back but accepted them without question. Rowena handed him a pen and a note pad and he wrote on it, before laughing and turning back to his work.

“Gabriel!” the small Scottish woman called out when she spotted him on the porch. Gabriel got up and jogged over to her wrapping her in a hug. Lifting her off the ground “Hey Rowena! Looking beautiful as ever.”

“Flattery will get you anywhere my dear.” She replied patting his cheek. “And, who is this?” she asked spying Anna hiding behind Gabriel’s legs.

“Rowena this is my daughter Anna.”

Rowena looked sideways at Gabriel and pursing her lips.

“Well,” she crouched down to Anna’s level, “It is a pleasure to meet you young lady.”

“Nice to meet you too” the little girl said shyly, a hand coming out to touch Rowena’s bright red locks, so like her own. “You have pretty hair.”

Rowena giggled. “Aye, little one, we both do.” And she touched the tip on Anna’s nose making her giggle. Rowena stood and threaded an arm through Gabriel elbow turning to the porch.

“Thank you for the pop-tarts, they are Anna’s favorite. And the sheets.” He told her.

She waved off his thanks, “That’s alright dear. I have something else for you too.” They sat on the porch step while she pawed through her bag. Anna had went back to doing cartwheels.

Rowena pulled a page from a note book. “Here you go.”

Gabriel looked at the piece of paper, it had Dean’s name and number on it.

“Rowena, I – no, he isn’t my type.”

The red headed women laughed “I know dear, I’m not trying to set you up. He just gave it to me when I gave him the garbage bags. He was very nice about the whole thing. And I knew I had to give you his number. I don’t know what you are supposed to do with it.”

“Thank you, I guess…” Gabriel said pocketing the paper. Rowena was digging through her bag again, pulling out an entire white shirt, about three sizes too big.

“Now, I know it’s the wrong size, here is the receipt, but I saw it and I knew it had to be this shirt this size.”

Gabriel let the soft material run through his fingers. He hadn’t had something this nice in a long time. Even if it was the wrong size. He was touched. He lifted it to his nose, it even smelt expansive. He didn’t think he could speak, so lent in and hugged the red haired women.

“Oh, it’s okay dear.” She said patting his back, she drew back and looked into his face, her sharp eyes picking up tiny scars, the hollows under his eyes.

Gabriel knew, she knew what he was running from.

“Oh my dear, it’s not an easy thing to ask for help. It was very brave leaving. I am, _so_ , proud of you.” She patted his cheek again and turned away to let him compose himself, once he brushed the tears away, they sat in silence watching Anna do her tricks until the light started to fade.

***

Castiel was digging through his closet looking for a shirt that would fit his brother, when he heard a gentle tap on the door and the blonde man peek around the door.

“Can I come in Cas?”

“Sure. I’m just looking for a shirt for you.”

Gabriel sat on the edge of the bed, and sighed.

“Cas, about tomorrow…” he trailed off as Castiel fixed his blue eyes on his brother.

“You…can’t do it?”

“No! Of course I can, I- What about Anna? I don’t really want to leave her on her own, or even with Rowena yet.”

“She will come with us, of course.”

“Just like that?”

“Yes. Is that a problem?”

“No,” Spluttered Gabriel, “Just didn’t think you would want a child around while you worked.”

Castiel pulled out a couple of dress shirts one black and one pale blue, and laid them next to Gabriel, before he spoke again.

“Gabe,” he said finally using his nickname “She is your daughter, and I don’t pretend to know what you are running from but I can take a guess. Nor do I expect you to tell me until you are ready. So, it is only natural that you would want her with you.” He placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Besides, she is a quiet, capable little girl, the ladies at the garden club will love her. You have raised her well.” He gave a tentative smile to the other man.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” replied Castiel. “Now these shirts, try them on and hopefully they will fit.”

The next day they packed the van and headed to the luncheon. The two brothers worked well together, Castiel organizing the food drinks while Gabriel collected plates and refilled drinks. Anna was happy to clean the serving table and organize the coolers. Gabriel had been worried that serving would bring up old habits, like how he used to scam customers. But it hadn’t. It had felt nice to work, hard and honestly. The ladies loved Anna, telling her what a good job she was doing, they complimented Gabriel on his serving skills and friendliness, and gushed over Castiel’s cooking. All and all, it had been a good day. Anna had feel asleep on the way home and Gabriel scooped her up and took her upstairs to bed, he brushed her hair out of her face as he kissed her forehead and tucked her rainbow bear next to her.

By the time he came back down stairs, Castiel had unpacked the van and had nearly finished loading the dishwasher.

“I was going to help!” he told his brother.

Castiel raised his head. “It’s fine Gabe. I only hire people to serve. I have a routine and order I do this in.” he didn’t say it unkindly, just a statement of a fact. He dried his hand on a towel, before sliding an envelope over the bench to his brother, “I paid you cash, I hope that is okay.”

Gabe took the envelope, he wasn’t sure what had happened. He thought they were getting along.

He tried again, “I could help….”

“Honestly, it’s fine. I’m almost done.” He replied smiling. “Go and relax.”

Gabe shuffled out of the kitchen and back upstairs. He sat on his bed and counted the money. It was more than he was expecting. Did that mean Castiel wanted him to leave? He tucked the envelope into his bag before pulling out a t-shirt and jeans. The piece of paper that Rowena had given him with Dean’s number fluttered out. He picked it up and looked at it. His mind made up. After a quick shower and in fresh clothes he headed out. He was going to let Cas know where he was going but couldn’t find him.  So he shrugged and headed out the door towards Dean’s.

He knocked on the door, rocking back on his heels as he waited. And waited. Maybe he should have called a head he thought. He then heard a tap running and footsteps. The door opened and Dean looked at him confused until he remembered.

“Oh Hello! You’re Castiel’s brother, Gabriel, right?”

“Yep, that’s me. Thought I would come and say hello.”

Dean nodded and stepped out, looking either side of the shorter man than back towards the white house.

“Uh, yeah, my brother isn’t with me. Sorry to disappoint.”

A faint blush colored Dean’s cheeks. _Wow_ , thought Gabriel _. I wonder what Cas has done to this poor man be so smitten already._

“Sorry, come in,” he held the door open and Gabe slipped through, noticing the taller man was bare foot and wearing jeans and a white t-shirt that had dried mud on it.

“Want a beer? He offered.

“Yeah sure.” Gabriel was looking around the house. It still had unpacked boxes everywhere, a nice lounge suite in the living room, a large T.V. and an extensive sound system complete with every imaginable way to play music including a record player.

“I didn’t realize you had just moved in.”

“Well, about a month ago. Just haven’t got around to fully unpacking yet.” Dean moved further into the house. “Come into the kitchen. It’s a bit of a mess, I’m working in there at the moment.”

“Oh you’re renovating?” he asked

“Ah….no.”

Gabriel stopped in the doorway looking into the kitchen. “That, is not what I was expecting…”

The kitchen table was covered in plastic, and on it a clay sculpture, still glossy with water. It was a about a foot high and of the naked torso of a man who seem to be emerging from a tangle of tentacles, or was it human limbs. Next to it was a pile of metal pieces, cut into different sizes and pair or tin snips next to them. Over the sink an intricate wire sculpture of a bird hung. An owl maybe, with it talons out stretched its wings fanning behind it.

Dean busied himself with covering the clay with a piece of plastic and gathering the metal scraps up. Moving them to the seat with a coil of wire and looked around hopelessly. “Sorry, I’m just working on some new ideas. It might be best if we head to outside.

“You’re and artist?”

Dean ducked his head in the fridge pulling out two beers, handing one to Gabe.

“I’m a teacher actually, of art. I majored in sculpture. I mostly work with metal and wire. The clay is just something I use to moc out designs before heading out to Bobby’s to make it full size.

“Bobby Singer?”

Dean took a pull of his drink nodding.

“Why did you and Castiel have the same reaction?”

“Bobby is nearly as reclusive as us Novak’s is all.”

“Right….”

They headed out to the front porch and sat drinking their beer.

“So you like Castiel.”

Gabriel hears the other man choke a little on his beer, and smirked.

“Well, you don’t beat around the bush do you?” he lent forward cradling the beer in his hands, picking at the label. “I barely know him but he fascinates me. There is something about him that draws me to him. I feel like I’ve meet him before.” He ducks his head. “It’s stupid man. I can’t really explain it.”

“I’ve heard stupider things, mate.” Gabe chuckles. “Besides, I kinda understand, Anna, my daughter seems to be fascinated by him too.”

Dean glanced at him. “That’s a bad thing?”

The shorter man shrugged, “No, just unexpected. Castiel and I fought a lot as children, I didn’t think he would take too kindly to me turning back up after eighteen years. Let alone with a child. But he has been better than I thought he would be.”

“It’s a long time to be away.”

“I didn’t think I would be coming back.”

“Ah burnt bridges, I gettcha ya. I’ve been there, done that.”

They sat in silence sipping their beers.

“Do you mind if I come over sometimes? I know you’re into my brother, and you’re not my type. But sometimes it would be nice to get away.”

Dean nodded, “Sure, bring Anna too. I love kids. We can set her up with some paints or clay to work with. Besides, I don’t know many people in the neighborhood. It would be nice to know one person.”

Gabe smiled at Dean, “Thanks. She would like that." Wanna order pizza? My treat.”

“Sure thing man, I’m starving.” Dean through his phone and Gabe caught it one handed. “Nice catch. I’ll grab us some more beers.” And he headed inside, leaving Gabriel to order


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel was organizing bundles of herbs and flowers in the sun-room, chewing his lip. He was putting rose petals in bowls of matching colors. Yellow, for friendship though it could also represent jealousy, crimson for love and courage, pink for grace and happiness and his personal favorite a pale purple rose that almost looked blue in certain light known as “Blue moon”, that represented enchantment and love at first sight.

He had the farmers markets coming up, and want to ask his brother to help. He wasn’t sure if he would want to help. It was usually a very long day, starting before day break and ending in the mid to late afternoon. It would perhaps mean leaving Anna with Rowena.

“Hey big bro!”

Castiel looked up at his brother leaning on the door frame, he was eating a rose petal scone with guava jelly. He was glad he was eating. He was starting to look more like himself again. His hair was starting to get shiny again and it curled at his collar. The purple hollows under his eyes were staring to fade. He was happy his brother was starting to heal, even though he still caught a haunted looked that but sometimes came to his eyes as he remembered something from his past.

“Gabe, I want to ask you something.”

Gabriel was walking around the sun room, inspecting the bundles and smelling some.

“I have a stall at the local farmers markets, it’s this weekend. And well it’s a big day, and usually I just do it myself, but I was wondering if you would like to help.”

His brother was nodding.

“But, it might be too big of a day for Anna…” he trailed off.

Gabriel regarded him, “Well, I could ask Rowena if she would look after Anna, and see if Anna would like to stay behind. But it’s up to her. I don’t want her to think I don’t want her to come along.”

“Of course.” Agreed Castiel. “You’re a good parent Gabe. Anna is very lucky.”

“I try. I haven’t’ always been the best example, but I hope that I can always protect her.”

“Do you want to, talk about it?” asked Cas.

“No.” Gabe saw his brother’s hurt expression. “Not yet anyway. In time Cas.”

Castiel went back to his work.

“What do you take to the markets?” he asked trying to make amends.

“Lots of things, I try to give people options. I take honey. Some of it plain, some of it infused with different flowers or herbs. The jellies. It will be mostly Guava at the moment but it varies, depending what I have the most of. Bunches of herbs. I usually bake a selection of breads, cakes and biscuits as well. All for people to get an idea of the things I caterer.”

“Do you ever sleep?”

Castiel blushed. “Sometimes.”

“You should make candy.” Said Gabriel peering into the bowls of petals.

“Candy?”

“Or ice-cream.”

“What are you talking about Gabe?”

His golden haired brother shrugged.

“I did a course, on craft confectionery. You could infuse the sweets with things from the garden. Same with ice-cream.”

“You like cooking?”

“No, not like you do. But the dessert or confectionery or chocolate side. I like doing.”

“I remember your sweet tooth.” Laughed Castiel. “You always used to have a lollipop in your mouth.”

“Had to get the practice Cas.” He winked at his brother.

Cas’s mouth opened and closed like a fish before he composed himself before he shook his head.

“Eww, that’s an image of my brother I didn't need. Thank you Gabriel.”

Gabriel just laughed.

“Would you like to try making some things, some time?” he asked eyeing his brother. “I could help with the different meanings of the herbs and flowers.”

“That would be nice.” Agreed Gabe smiling.

Cas smiled back, “Where were you last night, I looked for you?”

“Oh, I went and visited Dean.”

“Dean?”

“Yup.”

“From next door?”

“The very same.”

Castiel pursed his lips.

“That’s nice.”

“It was. I invited him over for lunch.”

“You did what?”

“I invited him for lunch.”

His brother spluttered at him, unable to form words, before marching out of the sun-room back into the house.

“Cas, wait! It’s just lunch, it’s no big deal.”

Cas had his back to the other man, his shoulders set and Gabe could image the expression on his face. He took a knife out of the block and bread out the timber bread box before slicing it into thick slices.

“Come on Cas, it might be a chance to get to know him. He is a really interesting guy and an artist. Good with his hands…” he laughed trying to make a joke, but Castiel didn’t turn around.

Gabe pressed on, “Look, Dean is great, but I swear to god, if he asks one more question about you I might just commit murder. And if you aren’t interested, maybe you should tell him, so someone else could have a chance.”

“Like you?” snapped Castiel as he dropped the knife down.

“Yeah, maybe.” Gabriel snapped back, he couldn’t help it. Cas was being a dick about nothing. And he knew how to push his brother’s buttons. He saw Castiel suck in a sharp breath and the hurt expression on his face, before he carefully masked it away again. He turned to the fridge pulling ingredients out for sandwiches, his jaw set.

Gabriel sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, looking up to the ceiling.

“Cas…I’m sorry okay. I didn’t mean to say that. I’m not interested in Dean. But why are saying you aren't? I mean you clearly are, so why not see where this could go?”

“Gabriel! It’s really none of your business!”

“But-" The door bell rung, and Gabe grinned at his brother, “It’s for you.”

“No,” growled Castiel turning away, “He is _your_ guest, _you,_ answer it.”

Gabriel glared his brother’s back.

“Fine.”

Castiel heard his brother leave and let his shoulders sag. He could hear Gabe talking to Dean.

“Hey Deano!”

“Hey Gabe, neat house!”

“Thanks! Want the tour?”

“Sure. Okay.”

That made him twitchy, he didn’t want Dean seeing the house. He didn’t want Dean seeing behind his mask. Seeing him.

People left, they always did. His mother left, than Gabe, than his grandmother. Gabe would leave again he was sure, as soon as the town reminded him he was a Novak and what that meant. It was obvious he wasn’t planning to stay. He wouldn’t tell Cas anything about his past. And he was protecting Anna from the garden and the apple tree, protecting her from their history.

And that was why he couldn’t let Dean in. He couldn’t open himself to the possibility of love when the heartbreak would kill him. It wasn’t worth it. Dean was changeable and shifting.  And all wrong for Castiel. Castiel was the opposite. Constant, stable, feet planted on the ground.

No, he wouldn’t do it. He would drive him away. Show him they weren’t a good match. He would be rude if he had to.

Cas rubbed his temples. _Think, think, think_. What could he use from the garden that would make Dean less interested in him? He chewed his lip. He didn’t have time right now to make anything. He pulled bowls from the shelf and started ladling soup from the crock-pot. He placed the sandwiches on a plate and put them on the island bench.

Anna came running into the kitchen just before Gabe and Dean, and hugged Castiel around the middle. Castiel lent down and returned the hug before patting her head and steering her to the bench, lifting her on to the high stool.

“It must have been great growing up here.” Said Dean to Gabriel. “Truly magical.”

“That’s one word for it.” Laughed Gabriel easily. Castiel stared.

How did he do that? Connect with people so easily. When they had the power to break you. Even after everything he suspected Gabe had been through, he still was open and friendly, drawing people to him like flies to honey. He had never had the gift of the gab, like Gabriel. Never made friends easily. And he had come to terms with that. But seeing the easy interaction and banter between his brother and Dean, he wondered what it must be like to be a social butterfly.

Gabriel grabbed two halves of a sandwiches passing one to Dean than the other to Anna, and then grabbing his own half and biting in.

“Sit!" he gestured to a stool, "Eat! You will have to excuse the crazy recipes, Cas learnt them from our grandmother.”

Castiel bristled, “They aren’t crazy these are PB & J sandwiches and chicken soup.”

“Almond butter and ginger jelly. And the soup is Chamomile chicken soup.” Countered Gabe, winking at Dean, who was taking a cautious bite of his sandwich.

Castiel was too engrossed in staring at Dean to come back with a reply.

No one should look that good eating a god damn sandwich. Dean smiled as he tasted the unusual combination his green eyes crinkling at the corners. He had a few stray crumbs on his full lips, and the tip of his tongue peeked out to catch them.

“These are pretty good! I would never have though to change up something as simple as PB & J but these are something else.” He said grinning at Castiel.

Castiel felt hot all over as his eyes meet Dean’s green ones. He was sure he was sweating through his shirt. He turned to the counter and placed three bowls of chicken soup on the bench in front of the guests.

“Aren’t you having any?” asked Dean looking for a fourth bowl.

“I’m not hungry, enjoy.” And he dashed out of the kitchen as fast as possible, he could feel Dean’s gaze follow him.

***

He was in the garden digging a hole in the soft soil to bury the apples he had collected in. It was a warm day, the humidity making his skin tacky and his hair cling to his forehead. He could hear the gentle hum of his bees in the background.

“Stop it!” he hissed at the apple tree as it drop another apple. “The more you drop the more I bury, and it takes a long time for you to grow more. Is that what you want?” The apple tree replied by dropping another apple, this time on Castiel’s head.

He winced in pain, glaring at the tree as he rubbed his head.

“Really? Really? This is how you want to play?”

He heard a soft laugh from behind him and he turned to see Dean. He hadn’t heard him approach. He glanced back at the tree. Stupid thing, distracting him.

“So that’s your secret.”

“I –ah-my secret?” he asked nervously.

“You talk to the plants. That’s how you get your garden to grow, right?”

“Right.” He turned and picked up a few more apples and added them to the hole, trying to ignore Dean, unsuccessfully. He stood, watching Castiel work, like it was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. It made Cas’ skin burn.

“Lunch was great by the way. I’ve never had chicken soup with Chamomile.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He kept moving, trying to distract himself from the beautiful man near him. When Dean didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving he added

“Dean, I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“Gabriel said you would say that. And told me to come out anyway.”

Castiel clenched his jaw and made a frustrated noise.

“Gabriel, means well,” he said slowly “But I don’t need any help.”

“Maybe a friend?” asked Dean.

“No. I don’t need any of those either.”

“Hmm.”

He heard Dean move and when he looked up Dean was standing very close to him and he stumbled back. Dean caught his arms and held him steady. Dean’s hands were very warm on him.

“Maybe you need something more?” he asked eyes boring into Castiel’s. His eyes flickered to Cas’ lips and back up.

Castiel gulped

“I-I-“

Castiel couldn’t think. He could smell Dean’s scent of soap, leather and hot earth after rain, it was making him heady. He knew what he meant. He knew what it meant when he could see the purple snaps of light around Dean at night when he walked around his yard late at night.

He wanted to lean in to Dean, take everything he was offering. But he couldn’t.

“I like what I have.” He finally said.

Dean let his hands fall from Cas’ arms, but didn’t step back. Continued to stare at the plains of Castiel’s face. At the straight nose and full lips. The way his lashes brushed his cheek bones when he blinked.

“So do I. You’re so beautiful Cas. There I said!”

Castiel’s breath caught.

“I have wanted to tell you that from the moment I saw you.” continued Dean, his face open and bright, golden freckles over the bridge of his nose that Castiel wanted to touch and count.

Dean was unafraid of putting himself out there. It was like he almost welcomed the inevitable pain that would ensue after a relationship ended. Needed to experience all that life had to give, the good, the bad and the painful.

“I meant what I said.” Castiel told him. “I’m busy.”

Dean grinned, “And I meant what _I_ said. You’re beautiful.”

Castiel finally dragged his eyes away and went to pick up his spade.

“I’m going to be busy for a long time.”

“Good thing I’m not.” Dean’s eyes sparkled.

Drawing a breath in, Castiel left the garden, Dean following.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!  
> Sorry for the slow update this chapter really kicked my butt and I came up against my old nemesis writer's block. It is a nice long chapter though.  
> Updates will be slow from now on as I am back at work, but please be patient. This is a very long series, I'm not kidding when I say slooooow burn. I am trying to condense it and work my own story into it as well as keeping the charm of the original novel.  
> I am my own beta so if there are mistakes I do apologise.  
> And a big thank you for people who have commented, liked and bookmarked this story. I really appreciate it.  
> Now Onwards!

**Chapter 6**

Saturday arrived and Castiel and Gabriel climbed into the catering van. Rowena had come over the night before and was staying with Anna for the day. They had decided they would visit Cas and Gabe at the market later that day.

Cas drove carefully through the quite streets, the sun hadn’t even risen yet. Gabe was yawning with his head against the window.

“I can’t believe you didn’t sleep.” He mumbled at his brother who was looking much brighter than Gabe was feeling. Cas’ hair was sticking up in all directions and he was wearing his usual white button through shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and collar unbuttoned. The dark haired man just shrugged.

“I normally don’t sleep the day before the markets. Too much to make. I like to have the baked goods as fresh as possible.”

Anna had helped him yesterday as he made the samples of rose petal scones, lavender bread, orange and thyme shortbread's, and chocolate mousse truffles. Gabriel and Rowena had played Gin Rummy at the island bench, occasionally moving when Cas and Anna needed more room. At the end of the day they had packaged their goods and supplies of honey and jellies. Castiel added bunches of fresh herbs and flower arrangements in glass jars.

When the two brothers arrived at the town square, Castiel parked the van behind the area of their booth. There was a series of tables already set up and arranged under the little marquee.

Castiel hopped down from the van, his serious business face on.

“Right, Gabe, there is a box in the van with a cloth and some cleaning spray. Wipe the tables down than put the black table clothes over the tables. I’ll start pulling the stock out.”

They got to work; working well together again like at the luncheon previously, and had the display set up in no time. Gabriel was arranged some black cloth along the back of the stall to hide their van and Castiel was fussed with his honey jars and price labels, making them just so.

The sun had started to rise, burning off the mist around the town; and the early bird shoppers who wanted the very freshest producer, started trickling in.

Gabriel was setting up a couple of camp chairs behind their tables when he heard a crash and the display of oranges a couple of stalls down from them collapsed, and the fruit rolled towards him stopping at his feet. The reason for their escape was a tall long haired young man who was standing with one fruit still in his hand and his eyes fixed on Gabriel before turning to the stall owner apologizing profusely, as he tried to gather them up.

Gabriel smiled softly taking pity on the man and collecting the few oranges from under their table.

“You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t need to be quite so dramatic.” Said Gabriel striding towards him, handing him the last of the oranges.

The man dropped his head and huffed laugh, his face shielded with his long hair, as he arranged the fruit back on the display.

“I’ll have to remember that for next time.” He grinned down at Gabriel showing dimples. “I’m Sam, by the way. Sam Winchester.” And he held out his hand.

“Ahhhh, you’re the Sammy, Deano keeps talking about.” He took Sam’s hand. “I’m Castiel’s brother.” He pointed at Cas with his other hand, talking to a customer about the different honeys on offer. “We live next door to Dean.”

Sam nodded, “Right, yes of course. He said he’d been hanging out with a new friend. Nice to finally meet you.” Sam smiled warmly at him.  Sam had nice eyes thought Gabriel. Soft and warm. Like hot chocolate.

“Can I have my hand back Sam?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah sorry.” Sam laughed awkwardly before letting go. “So Gabriel, I haven’t seen you around before. Are you just visiting?”

“No. I just moved back after…after some time away.”

“Fair enough. It’s good to get back to your roots. Sometimes.” He added seeing Gabriel’s face.

Gabriel laughed, “Yeah sometimes.” He spied Cas’ motioning for him to come back over to the stall.

“There’s my cue. I’ll see you around Sammy.”

Sam looked a little disappointed.

“Oh, okay, see you around.”

“Maybe. If you’re lucky.” And because it was Gabriel and he couldn’t help himself, he winked at him. The shocked blush that coloured Sam’s face was worth it and he chuckled.

***

Dean had been sitting at a table, sipping his over-priced, organic, double roasted coffee. He would never admit it to Sam, but it was pretty good. He was starting to grow fond of the finer things in life. Like good coffee and a memory foam mattress every night. He watched his brother move around the different stalls picking up produce and talking to the vendors. He seemed to be doing better now. Not the same as he was before Jess died but at least he was functioning. Sam smiled and laughed now; went to work, went for runs, got really into fresh produce, but every now and again he would stop and his features would scrunch up and his jaw would work as he tried to hold back the grief that still overcome him when he encountered something that remind him of his previous life with Jess. 

After Jess’ death Sam had taken to his bed; after 6 months, with Dean’s encouragement, he packed up his things, put his and Jess’ belongs into storage and moved out to be with Bobby. At least at the old man’s scrap yard nothing reminded him of Jess. After another 6 months of being a ghost, haunting the ramshackle house, Bobby started dropping hints that he might need help with the accounts for the business. Sam had started working in the office, and the business had never run so smoothly and was ticking over nicely. One day Bobby came in with the local newspaper and threw it on the key board,

“What’s this?” Sam asked picking up the paper scanning the paper.

“That boy, is a job opening. Up at the local campus. For a law professor.”

“I’m not a teacher.”

“No, but you’ve got the other qualifications. No harm in trying.” Said the old many gruffly before leaving.

Sam had put the paper to the side of his desk. He was, not happy exactly, content maybe, with this life. He didn’t need to teach law.  But his eyes kept being drawn to the paper for the rest of the day, until he caved and called the number to ask for more details. He decided to apply, and was surprised when he was called in for an interview. Two more interviews and the promise to complete a bridging course in teaching before the school year started, saw him being able to distract himself again and start to move on with his life and he had been there six years.

He had taken some time off when Bobby had suffered the spinal injury that left him in a wheel chair. He and Dean had modified the old house for wheel chair access and had done some much need repairs. Bobby flat out refused to let Sam quit his job at the campus to become a full time carer, but allowed him to hire a new mechanic and got Sam to teach him how to run the accounts on the computer. And life carried on.

Dean smirked as his giant moose of a brother knocked over the oranges stand sending the fruit rolling. He watched as he got flustered trying to pick it all up quickly and how a smaller man approached helping him. They exchanged words, making Sam laugh a little. The man finally moved so Dean could see his face and realized it was Gabriel from next door. He tapped the lid of his coffee cup in thought. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought they might be flirting.

Dean frowned thinking, if Gabe was here, it probably meant Cas was too. He let his eyes drift around and he spotted the dark haired man serving some customers. He was leaning over holding a jar of honey and talking animatedly about it, his whole face lit up, eyes sparkling as he talked about something he was passionate about. He took the money off of the lady and put it in the front of his apron and passed the change back and laughed at a joke that had been exchanged.

Dean felt a flair of jealousy; so far, the mysterious blue eyed man hadn’t let him get closer enough for him to even try to make Cas laugh. And he wanted too, he just didn’t want to come off as a creepy stalker. Which is probably what was happening right now, as Castiel looked over and locked eyes with him. Cas narrowed his eyes slightly and tilted his head. Dean gave him a little wave. Castiel ignored him, instead calling Gabe over to take over, before disappearing behind the black cloth.

Dean groaned and rubbed his hand over his mouth. He had never had trouble flirting before, mostly he only had to flash that charming Winchester smile and a cheesy pick up line or the offer of a drink and he was in. But Cas was…, Cas was something else. He was different. Not just different in that he was so prickly and hard to get to know.

Dean didn’t want him to be just a random lay. He wanted more with him. When Dean was around him he could only think about Cas, and being everything for him. A friend, a confident and lover maybe even a husband. Which, whoa, that was something he had never thought about. But he barely knew the guy, and may never know him any better if Cas kept freezing him out.

Dean looked back to his brother who was still watching Gabriel as he took over from Cas. Definitely an element of pining there. Sam bought some of the bruised oranges and tucked them into a string bag before coming over to Dean.

“I didn’t realise the Gabe you were hanging out with was Cas’ brother.” He said sitting across from Dean.

Dean shrugged “I thought I had mentioned it.” He eyed Sam who was looking back at Gabe again.

“Take a picture, it will last longer.”

Sam blushed, “Piss off Dean.” He said shoving at his brother.

Dean sniggered, “I didn’t know you swung both ways Sammy.”

Sam made a frustrated face, choosing not to answer.

Dean grinned and slapped the table, “Right, are we done here?”

Sam nodded,

“Sure.”  He picked up his bags before looking over at Gabe one last time. Gabe looked up and waved giving him a smile. Leaving Sam flustered and half dropping his shopping again.

“Okay, Casanova,” Dean said patting him on the back. “Let’s go, before you pull out all the stops and make a complete idiot of yourself.”

Sam shoved him again. “Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

***

The brothers had been doing a roaring trade at the market that morning. Gabriel was friendly and engaging. Drawing people to him and the stall. That man could sell ice to polar bears. Castiel had been impressed. He patted his brother on the shoulder when the crowds had started to slow down.

“Do you want some lunch Gabe?”

“Lunch would be great.”

Cas gave his brother a smile. “Will you be okay, if I leave you here on your own?”

“Should be.”

“Right well, extra stock in the van and if you get in trouble about what each things does, I’ll just be over there.” he pointed to the group of food trucks.

“Castiel, go, I’ll be fine.”

Cas nodded “Thanks, Gabe.” patting him on the shoulder again, before wandering over to the food truck.

“Get me a Pepsi!” Gabe called after him.

Gabe rearranged some stock on the table than sat back in one of the chairs, happy to people watch. He wondered when Rowena and Anna were going to appear. He let his mind wander to Sam Winchester this morning. He seemed nice. Quieter than Dean. Certainly good looking, with his long shaggy brown hair and warm hazel eyes. And those cute dimples...No, it was too soon to think about any kind of relationship, for both his and Anna’s sake. Flirting was nice, but Anna came first.

“Well, well, well, Gabriel Novak? Is that really you?” a female voice drawled.

Gabriel was bought rudely back to reality, he felt like someone had drenched him with ice water when he heard that voice. He gulped and looked up at Meg Masters. She hadn’t changed much since he last saw her. Still pale cream coloured skin, dark wavy hair, dark almost black coloured eyes. She was wearing, dark fitted jeans and a plum coloured shirt, with a designer leather jacket that Gabriel was sure cost a small fortune. She always had great style, even when they had been teenagers. He felt extremely rough, in his blue faded jeans and another of Cas’ borrowed shirts.

“Hello Meg.” He said quietly.

“What are _you_ doing back in Lawrence?”

Gabriel stood up and looked around nervously, wiping his hands on his jeans.  Meg had befriended him in high school after the most popular guy in school, Balthazar, fell hard for Gabriel and they started dating. Balthazar was a wealthy kid, his family owning multiple business in town, but instead of making him a snob it made Balthazar unusual, it was one of the reasons Gabriel was attracted to him. He liked music and art, but not the main stream stuff people were into. He was a history buff and liked reading poetry.

Meg had taken Gabe under her wing when the two boys had started dating and had helped him to assimilate him to the popular group at school, which is all Gabriel had wanted growing up. To be accepted for himself and not as a Novak; to belong both at school and in the town. Meg and Gabriel had quickly became best friends. Meg had a cracking wit that matched his own and always had the best clothes. She was the first person that he came out to as bi, even while dating Balthazar and she had been very supportive. Gabriel eventually confessed to Meg, that he and Balthazar were going to have sex for the first time. Meg had acted excited and had even gave him advice on blow jobs and sex, but her excitement never reached her eyes and it wasn’t until years later, when someone finally told him that he was giving blow jobs wrong, that Gabe realized that Meg might have deliberately given him bad advice. He suddenly realised that she might have liked Balthazar too and that maybe that’s why she had been such good friends with Gabriel, to get close to Balthazar.

Balthazar had been part of the reason Gabriel had left the town in the first place. While they had dated they dreamed about leaving Lawrence and going to collage far away than traveling the world. But come graduation Balthazar had broken up with Gabe giving him the excuse that he had to take over his father business and that he could never have a future with the other man, he though Gabe knew that their relationship could only last while in high school. It what his family expected of him, it was what the town expected of him. It had broken Gabriel’s heart. He had never thought for a second that all their dreams were just that, dreams. It suddenly came very clear that this town had a set way of doing things, and a Novak’s place was not in the main stream of the community.

Meg had always been a bit of a vulture, waiting in the wings to pick up the scraps of broken people. Coming to their aid in their time of need only to turn on them as soon as she got what she wanted out of them, which unfortunately, Gabriel only worked out years later. It was only a month after Gabe’s and Balthazar’s break up that Meg and Balthazar starting dating. Gabriel was sure she had been there as a sympathetic ear, then a sympathetic shoulder, than a sympathetic body. The last straw for Gabriel was when he heard through gossip in the small town that Meg was pregnant. Gabriel had fled Lawrence not long after.

“My family is here Meg.”

“You don’t like your family.” She sneered.

The golden haired man shrugged. “I didn’t eighteen years ago. People grow up. I grew up.”

She narrowed her eyes at the dig, and studied him. He had changed, he was still good looking, wavy golden hair and those unusual whiskey colored eyes. He still had a way of drawing people to him, but he seemed more comfortable in himself than in high school. But he was skittish, nervous, looking around checking his surroundings.

“Heard you had a daughter.”

“Heard you had a son.” He retorted.

“Actually I have two. Balthazar and I are very happily married now.”

“So you two got married, good for you.” he replied sarcastically, waving his hands.

She leaned towards him, her dark wavy hair falling over her shoulders,

“I don’t know why you’re back, but whatever the reason, you can’t have what you had back then. You can’t have Balthazar.”

Gabriel snorted. “And why would I want a bunch of back stabbing friends and a guy who doesn’t have a spine to make his own decisions?”

“Stay away from my family.” She warned, tapping him on the shoulder, making him step back.

“Are you really so insecure after all this time? Even with your supposed happy life.”

She let out a hiss through her teeth.

Castiel had been watching the exchange from his line at the food truck. His brother looked agitated but he was fairly certain the women was a friend of Gabe’s from high school and he didn’t want to intrude if they were catching up. He collected his food and drinks in his arms, when he noticed Meg tapping Gabriel’s shoulder. He quickly arrived back at the table, placing the food down.

“Is there problem here?” he asked looking between the two.

Meg straightened and turned towards Castiel, giving him a wicked smirk.

“Hi Clarance.”

Castiel tilted his head in confusion at the dark haired women, than looked to his brother who let out a frustrated noise, than back to the woman.

“I’m afraid, I don’t understand that reference. My name is Castiel Novak. Are you a friend of Gabriel’s?”

“No, I’m not. I’m Meg Masters and I’m just a customer who had a bad experience with your employee.” She said loudly.

Gabriel looked at Meg in disbelief, shaking his head before turning away behind the curtain and Castiel heard the van door slam.

A few people at the markets turned towards them, Castiel’s blue eyes narrowed, having a feeling where this exchange was going.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can help with?” he gave her a forced smile.

“I was looking to purchase some Honey Mead.

Castiel was a little surprised by that request. He only ever made five bottles a year usually reserving it for potential couples wanting to use it at their weddings as their first toast. Using the honey his bees made from the garden, meant it had a unique flavor but it actually brought happiness, good luck and fertility to the marriage.

“Are you getting married soon?”

“No,” she snapped “Is there a problem with me purchasing a bottle?”

Castiel looked back to where his brother disappeared, making his decision.

“I’m sorry. I only sell the honey mead to couples who are about to be married. It has special properties that-“

“Excuse me?! You are going to refuse a paying customer?”

“Why yes, I am.”

Meg huffed, “You just made a big mistake! I will make sure none of my friends use your catering service!” She turned on her heels and left.

Castiel let out a breath he didn’t know that he was holding and leant his hands on the table. He looked up and saw the exchange between Meg and him had attracted a crowd, who were all staring. That whole conversation would have done nothing for his business. He signed and ran his hands through his hair. He ducked behind the curtain to check on his brother and was confronted with an angry Gabriel.

“Why didn’t you tell me Meg Masters would be here?”

“How was I supposed to know? She isn’t a regular! How could you _not_ realise people from high school might be at the markets?” he tried to stay calm, but Cas could feel his hands shaking.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” yelled Gabe

“What?”

“That this town only looks down at you? That they only want to know you because of the garden!”

Cas shook his head, “I don’t understand Gabe, what, where is this coming from?”

“I wanted to be part of the town, I wanted to have friends and a nice partner. I saw how everyone treated you, like you were some oddity to be gawked at because you were a Novak. You didn’t even seemed to care when Balthazar and I broke up. You barely seem to care about what just happened with Meg just now!”

Castiel was speechless, “Gabe, of course I care.”

“Yeah well, you have a strange way of showing it.” He turned away and started rummaging between the seats of the van and pulled out Cas’ phone, quickly punching in numbers.

“What are you doing Gabe?”

His brother ignored him. He tried again, “Gabe please don’t leave.”

“Hi Dean, look I need a favor, I’m stuck at the markets and I was wondering if you could pick me up?” Gabe paused on the phone listening to Dean’s answer. “Okay, thanks I’ll meet you there.” He turned to Cas and chucked the phone back to him before walking towards the parking lot.

“Gabriel please!”

He had never felt so helpless. The idea of his only family leaving so soon after they arrived back in his life made his stomach churn. He thought he had the last eighteen years to catch up on with Gabe, but he was wrong. He realized he never really knew his brother growing up either. He didn’t know what to do. The phone was still clutched tightly in his hand and he flicked open the recent contacts, taking a deep breath he redialed the latest number and waited.

“Hello?” answered Dean.

“Hello Dean. It’s Castiel Novak.”

There was a pause “Cas? This is a bit weird, your brother just called me. He sounded upset.”

Cas scuffed his feet on the ground “Yeah, he is. I was wondering if I could ask a favor of you when you get here?”

“Anything.”

A small smile graced Castiel’s face when he heard that Dean was so eager to do him a favor without even knowing what it was.

“Just come to the stall, I’ll talk to you than. Thank you.”

“No worries Cas. See you soon.” And he hung up.

Cas looked over at his brother leaning against a tree in the parking lot before heading back out to his stall.

Fifteen minutes later he heard a rumble of deep motor and noticed the black muscle car that belonged to Dean pull into the parking lot. Gabriel went and got in the passenger seat. Castiel could see Dean speaking to him before existing the car and approaching the market stalls.

He stopped in front of Cas, who gestured to come behind the curtain.

Dean stopped just arm’s length away from the other man, “Hey man, what’s up? Did you and Gabe have a fight?”

“Sort of.” Answered Castiel sadly.

Wanting to comfort the other man, Dean took another step closer, and put his hands on Cas’ shoulders and was surprised when Castiel didn't shift away.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Castiel looked up into those concerned green eyes, and they took his breath away.

“The favor, I need you to talk to Gabe. I need you to convince him not to leave, at least not yet until I can get home and talk to him.”

Dean nodded, “I dunno if he will listen. He was pretty mad in the car.” He saw how Cas’ face crumpled and watched the blue eyes slid away to the floor. He hated seeing people in pain.

“But hey,” he lifted the other man’s chin with his forefinger making Cas lift his eyes again.  “I’ll try my best.”

Cas let out a sigh, “Thank you Dean.” He wrapped his hand around Dean’s wrist opening his hand and placed his own cheek into the other man’s palm. Dean could only watch in stunned silence as Cas closed his eyes briefly, his eyelashes fluttering against Dean's finger-tips. Cas held Dean’s hand there for a moment before he gently removed Dean’s hand from his face. “Thank you.”

“Anytime Cas. Anytime.”

***

Castiel sighed with relief when he saw the two red heads approach the stall. If Anna was still here it meant Gabriel hadn’t left yet.

“And where is Gabe?” asked Rowena as she came to stand in front of the stall. Anna slipped around the table and hugged Cas, who picked her up.

“Hey Anna, how are you?” he asked ignoring the red head’s question. Rowena narrowed her eyes.

“Castiel. Answer me right now.” She demanded.

Castiel flinched slightly, Rowena was not a women to be reckoned with.

“We had a fight.”

Anna squirmed in his arms, pressing her little palms to his face.

“Why did you and daddy have a fight, Uncle Cas?”

“Just a misunderstanding sweetie. I’m going to talk to him when I get home. Would you like to help me pack up?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“It’s not time to go yet,” Rowena looking at her delicate watch on her wrist.

“I know, but fixing this with Gabe is more important than a stall.”

Rowena regarded him. “Alright than. Put us to work. What can we do?”

***

Castiel had drop off Rowena at her own house, who had told him that it was better to talk things out with his brother, that there was a lot of history they needed to figure out. Upon arriving home Anna raced into the house to find Gabe. Castiel approached more slowly. He was tired and his fight with his brother had made him anxious to face him again. He climbed the front steps to see Gabriel was sitting on the porch swing and Anna had snuggled up beside him. There was an awkward silence before Castiel cleared his throat

“Hello Gabriel.”

“Hey Cas.”

“You’re home early.”

“I thought it best to leave.”

“You would have lost sales. Maybe a place at the market.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

They regarded each other in silence for a while, before Gabriel spoke again.

“You’ve had a few phone calls, since I got home. Booking cancellations.”

Castiel’s shoulders dropped.

“I thought that might happened.”

“You didn’t sell Meg the mead, did you?”

“No I didn’t.”

“You should have. She knows a lot of people, she could hurt your business.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Castiel repeated. “But you do.”

A shock expression crossed Gabriel’s face. He wasn’t expecting that from his brother. He sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m messing everything up.”

Castiel moved forward and sat on the other side of his brother on the swing and he lent forward resting his elbows on his knees and chin on his clasped hands.

“You’re not messing anything up Gabe. They will call again when they need my help. They just won’t want anyone to know.” He paused before looking to his blonde brother. “Please don’t leave Gabe. I _do_ like having you here, even if I don’t show it. I know I haven’t been a good brother, but I want that to change. I want us to have a chance to know each other.”

Gabriel dipped his head looking at Anna, pulling her into his lap. The little girl was falling asleep. He planted a kiss on her bright hair.

“I’m not leaving. I’ve got no where to go. Besides, as crazy and infuriating as this town is, it’s safe. And that is what Anna needs. She needs to grow up safe and secure, with a routine. I’m her father, I need to give her that. Even if I have nothing else to give her, I will give her a safe childhood.

Furrowing his brows Cas dared to ask his brother about his past again.

“Did you leave somewhere that wasn’t safe?”

Gabriel winced, before getting up, cradling Anna to his chest. “I’m going to put her to bed for a nap.” He turned into the house. Castiel should have known his brother wouldn’t answer him.

***

Later that evening after Castiel had baked his raspberry and coconut bread for a special at the local coffee shop he climbed the stairs and peeked in on Gabe and Anna. They were in Gabe’s room both curled around each other. Cas smiled softly at the sight. He went to gently close the door, when he heard to the sheets rustle and Gabe sat up.

“I’m sorry I woke you.” Cas whispered.

Gabe looked at him than the purple light flicking around the room on the wall and on the ceiling. It was like there was a lava lamp in the room.

“Bit hard to sleep with that.” He whispered back, pointing to the lights. Cas stepped into the room and went to the window that over looked Dean’s house. He could see Dean pacing around his backyard. He was shirtless and wearing pajama bottoms low on his hips. Occasionally  he would look in the direction of the Novak house. His body was radiating tiny purple snaps of light.

“You can see the lights?” Cas asked his brother quietly.

Gabe snorted “Of course I can.” He murmured back, “I might not like it, but I am still a Novak.”

Castiel nodded before turning back to the window, his heart fluttering in his chest as he watched Dean move.

“What are you going to do about him?”

Cas’ eyes were still glued to his neighbor “Do about him?”, he dragged his eyes away, even though it hurt a bit to do so, to look at his brother.

“You know you are allowed to date. It’s okay to feel something for someone else. Just because no one expects it of you, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Don’t you want people in this town to clutch at their pearls and say _‘I can’t believe he did that!_ ’”

Castiel let out a small chuckle.

“But seriously, what are you going to do?” pressed his brother.

Castiel moved away from the window to the door, “I’ll deal with it. Good Night Gabe.”

“Night Cas, wake me up in the morning and I’ll come with you to the coffee shop.”

Castiel opened his mouth to protest, but stopped. “Thank You Gabe.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

“I’m going into town to do some grocery shopping,” Castiel told his brother, “Do you and Anna want to come?”

Anna jumped up eagerly from the floor where she had been drawing a picture of the garden, shouting a yes, before disappearing up-stairs to get her shoes.

Gabe laughed from the floor where he had been sitting next to Anna. “Well, I guess that answers that.” He stood up and stretched his body cracking with the movement. Gabe was a little worried about having free loaded on his brother for the last few weeks, but he didn’t want to dig into the money he had earnt off Cas. He was saving that, just in case, for emergencies. The other option was to return the shirt that Rowena gave him, and get the money back. But he couldn’t bear to part with such a beautiful thing just yet.

“Um, Cas,” he started, looking at his brother who tilt his head, looking up from his shopping list when his brother spoke to him.

“Mmm?”

“I ah, I’m sorry I haven’t been putting in my half of the expenses.”

Cas’ blue eyes looked confused, “I never expected you too…” he replied slowly.

“I feel bad about it. You can’t put us up forever, I just-“

Castiel held up his hand.

“Gabe please. It’s the least I can do. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“But-“

 Anna came bouncing down the stairs, interrupting their conversation.

“Okay, I’m ready!”

“Alright Kiddo!” exclaimed Gabe holding his hand out for a high five, before crouching down so Anna could scramble onto his back to ride, her thin arms around his neck.

“Can we get pizza pockets?” she asked into his neck.

Gabe laughed “Sure, sweetie!”

Castiel was just looking confused and Gabe wasn’t sure if it was about their previous conversation or at the suggestion of pizza pockets, before he shrugged and pocketing his grocery list and grabbing his keys.

“Let’s go than.”

***

Once they got into town Cas and Anna went to start on the shopping, Gabe said he wanted to check out the other shops in the square.  
But what he actually want to do though, was to check the local notice board for any potential jobs offers, and maybe pick up a newspaper at the corner store.  
He stood looking at the covered noticed board at the post office. The colored notices waved gently in the breeze. Most of the notices were for furniture for sale, a couple of kittens looking for homes, a lost dog, a lawn mowing service and community events. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, it was finally looking like it used to, he was starting to feel more like himself and he was grateful.  
He tucked his hands in his pocket and wandered through the square. Some of the shops were the same.  Green’s Book store was still there, with the books on stands outside and the green door. A jewelry shop, an art supply store, some fashion boutiques but the leather craft shop was new.

He looked around for ‘The Busy Bee Café’ but it didn’t seemed to be there, which was a shame. He remembered Rowena and his grandmother taking him and his brother for milkshakes for their birthdays. They would all sit in a blue vinyl booth and were served their orders of milkshakes in tall cold glasses and a swirl of whipped cream and a cherry on top, and they always gave you the extra milkshake in the silver mixer cup on the side. Whoever’s birthday it was, Rowena would give them some coins to choose the song on the duke box.

Where ‘The Busy Bee’ used to be was now labelled ‘Sundae Funday’ He headed over to it and peered in the store window. It still had a retro feel, but now it, had mint green candy stripe walls, with a checker board style floor. They still had some of the booths but they were now red, and along one wall was a serving bar, were mountains of ice cream was piled up. On the wall behind that were rows and rows of different confectionery that you could add to your ice cream.

A customer came out of the store followed by the sweet crisp scent of ice cream. To Gabe it was the smell of happiness, of better times. He nearly floated away as joy bubbled in his chest. A girl with blonde hair behind the counter was wearing a red candy stripe dress with a white apron. When she spotted Gabe she gave him a smile and small wave. It was everything he loved rolled into one fantastic little store. He wondered if they made their own ice cream and candy. What the flavours they offered.  
As quickly as the happiness filled him, a prickly nervous feeling started to seep in, like he shouldn’t be allowed to be happy.  
His qualifications were under his own name, the name that Luke didn’t know. But Luke had still found them last time. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. Luke wasn’t going to find them again, just because he was working. He had never mentioned Lawrence, or his brother or even his qualification to the violent man. No, both he and Anna were Novak’s here, they were safe.  

He straightened his shoulders and went inside, the bell over the door tinkling with hope.

***

Gabriel was practically skipping when he met Castiel and Anna at the van where they were loading their groceries. He was smiling like a mad man while helping until finally, Cas gave in and asked him what he was smiling about.

“I got a job!”

Anna squealed and started bouncing excitedly.

Castiel frowned slightly, “I told you Gabe, it wasn’t necessary.”

“I know, but Cas I want a job. I need this. Please be happy for me.”

The frown from Castiel’s brow softened and he grinned at his blonde brother.

“I am happy for you Gabe, where did you get the job?”

“At the ice cream parlor Sundae Funday. Where The Busy Bee used to be.”

Castiel nodded as he shoved groceries around in the van. “Yes, I know it. Charlie Bradbury runs it doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, and she just has another girl called Jo Harvelle running front of store. Charlie seemed impressed that I had a qualification in craft confectionery.”

“Yes, you said you had one, when did you get that?”

Gabe pursed his lips, Castiel was getting close to asking more about his past again, and though he was starting to feel more comfortable with his brother, he didn’t want to ruin what they were building. He knew it would change the way his brother looked at him. He didn’t want Castiel’s pity. Secretly Gabe hoped that his past would fade from his memory and no one would ever have to find out.

Seeing his brother’s expression Castiel know Gabe wasn’t going to answer again. So he changed tact.

“When do you start?” asked Castiel gently.

“Next week, so I was wondering if, maybe you could look after Anna through the day? I’ll ask Rowena too. Anna will starts school in the fall, so it will just be for the summer.”

Castiel looked down at Anna, who beamed at him with big brown eyes, “Of course. She is no trouble.”

“Great! Thanks Cassie!” Gabe turned and peered into some of the shopping bags, “Ah, what is all this?”

“I’m going to make pizza rolls.” Replied Cas.

“You know they come frozen right.”

Cas hesitated before answering, “Yes.” Before he leant down to Anna and whispered, “Is that true?”

Anna just giggled.

Gabe continued to look through the bags “Blue berries, water chestnuts….What the hell are you making Cas?”

Castiel shooed his brother away, sliding the van door closed. “I’m going to make a few dishes for Dean.”

“Ah,” Gabe wiggled his eye brows at his brother, “A love potion?”

“There is no such thing.” his brother snapped.

“I dunno, we are Novak’s, we could probably make one…” he narrowed his eyes when he saw Castiel’s uncomfortable expression.

“Oh my god! You’re not going to poison him are you?!”

“No!” shouted Castiel, before taking a deep breath. “No, no Gabe. I’m not going to poison him. I’m just trying to make him….less interested.”

Gabriel just started his brother with his mouth open, before laughing.

“Oh lord, trust you, to make it your specialty to drive men away.”

Castiel just huffed and got in the van, Anna and Gabe following.

***

Anna laid with her arms behind her head on the grass in the backyard, looking at the clouds. She could hear the rustle of leaves on the apple tree and the soft hum of the bees as they went about their business. A few had come over and landed on her arm, as if in greeting before going back to their day.

Anna liked it here in Lawrence. She liked the garden and the house that reminded her of a castle. She liked her uncle and it was fun to watch her dad and him interact, getting to know each other again. Her and her dad belonged here.

Some of her memories of their time in Seattle were starting to fade. She couldn’t remember the colour of Luke’ eyes, or how many steps it took to get from the side walk to the front door. Some of them, like when Luke would scream at her dad, or when they had to go the emergency room because he had hit him, were still very present in her mind. And she wondered how long it would take for those memories to fade too.

She had never told her dad, but they never belonged in Seattle with Luke. It was too hard to explain, especially when she didn’t fully understand how she knew. But she had always known where things belonged.  
Sometimes when they were in Seattle, her dad would put things away and Anna would sneak in later and change them because she knew where Luke actually wanted them. Gabriel would put the socks in the draw but Luke would want them with his shoes, so Anna would swap them. Other times it was the opposite way around and Anna would swap them back. She tried to keep up, but sometimes Luke’s desire changed so quickly that she couldn’t, and when things weren’t in the right place, Luke would yell at her dad and do bad things to him.  
It had been exhausting.  
She was so relieved when they moved to be with Castiel, who had a place for everything and everything in it’s place. And he never changed his mind about where things went.

Anna had dreamt about this place for a long time and she knew that her and her dad would find their way here eventually.  
Today she was laying in the glass trying to figuring out what was missing. The grass under her was soft, like her dream, the noise of the bees and the apples tree was like her dream, the scent of the flowers and herbs were like her dream, but something was missing. In her dream tiny rainbows and flashes of light had danced over her face and skin and there was supposed to be the sound of rustling paper as it flapped in the breeze. She let out a breath in a huff, frustrated. Things wouldn’t be perfect until she could recreate her dream, something deep inside her told her this.  
She rolled on to her belly and picked at the grass, an apple fell from the apple tree and rolled towards her nudging at her leg. She studied the tree as it dropped another and it rolled towards her. It was almost like it wanted to play.

When she asked her uncle why it did that, even when she didn’t like apples, he had told her that it was because it still wanted her to eat one. That if you ate one it showed you what the biggest event of your life was. If it was good, you would suddenly know that everything else that you did in your life would never make you as happy as that moment. If it was bad, you would live the rest of your life knowing something bad was going to happen. And no one should know that.  
She had asked if some people wanted to know their future and he nodded. But told her, that while ever the tree belong to them, they got to say who ate the apples.  
  


“You mean, the tree belongs to me as well?” she had asked shyly.

“It most certainly does.” He had told her. Anna had felt like she had drank fizz drink as joy bubbled in her stomach, she finally belonged somewhere.

Anna sat up when she heard Castiel called her name. She felt a few pieces of grass stuck to her legs and she brushed them off before running back to the house. She found Castiel in the kitchen, her dad at the island bench writing in a note book, as he worked on ice cream flavor combinations.

“I didn’t pick any flowers.”

Castiel nodded, and just held up a casserole dish. “I was about to visit Dean, did you want to come?”

Gabriel lifted his head at the suggestion.

“Oh no, uh ah, you are not dragging Anna into your weird scheme of driving Dean away. If you are going to do that, you are going to do that on your own.”

Anna nodded, going to stand by her dad, she didn’t want to stand in the way of Dean and her uncle. Not when they belonged together.

Castiel shot them both a look as he opened and closed his mouth. He had been hoping to use Anna as a barrier between him and Dean, simply because he wasn’t sure how he would react to being with the other man alone.

“Fine. I’ll go on my own.” he growled, making for the door.

“Have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Called his brother sniggering.

***

Dean’s smile was like sunshine when he saw it was Castiel knocking on his door. The breath left Castiel as he studied Dean, who was wearing jeans and a band t-shirt that looked like it was covered in paint splatters.

“This is a pleasant surprise.” He said inviting Castiel in.

Cas’ felt goosebumps rise on his arms as he brushed past Dean and felt his whole body shiver. He looked back at Dean, his eyes flicking to his full lips. He wondered what it would be like to kiss them. Would it take this feeling away, or make it worse?

“I made you a casserole.” He said in a rush, handing it to the other man.

Dean peeled the foil back and smelt it. “It smells amazing man. Thank you.” His green eyes locked on Cas’ blue ones. Castiel shifted a little under the gaze and looked around the room, noticing the comfortable lounge and sound system that was emitting the low tones of music. He spied a guitar case hidden behind a lounge chair.  

“Do you play?” he asked pointing it out.

“A little. My mom played, but I was too young to really teach before she died. When I got older it was a way to be close to her. She used to play for me before she would put me to bed.”

Castiel turned to him shocked, how could Dean be so open about something so painful, with a virtual stranger?

“I’m sorry.” He replied not really sure what else to say to such a statement.

“It was a long time ago now.” Dean said quietly, before gesturing to the dish in his hands. “So do you want some of this?”

“Ah no, I already ate.”

“That’s a shame, will you stay while I have some?”

“I –“ he was going to refuse Dean but the words seemed to have gotten stuck in his throat, “Okay than.”

“Great, follow me.”

Castiel followed the other man to the kitchen. Dean busied himself with getting a plate out of the cupboard and piling some of the food on it.

“Please, sit,” Dean pointed at the pine table and sat opposite Cas, digging into the casserole.

Castiel watched Dean eat, but had to look away when he felt the blush rising up his neck. The bob of Dean’s Adam’s apple as he swallowed, the flexing of his jaw as he chewed, the way he licked his lips with his tongue, leaving them glossy. It was too sensual. Cas fidgeted in his seat.

“Gabe said you were an artist,” he started, trying to distract himself from the image in front of him.

Dean nodded “Yeah, sculpture mostly,” he waved his fork towards the wire bird work over the sink, “I usually work with metal.

“Are you working on anything at the moment?” Cas asked, looking around.

Dean pointed towards a covered piece of work. Castiel was unable to see what was under the plastic.

“I use clay to moc out my designs before I start,” he explained  “I’m pretty happy where that one is at, so  I’ll head out to Bobby’s soon to start putting it together with metal.”

“May I?” asked Castiel pointing at the plastic.

Dean nodded as he finished his plate.

Castiel moved to the bench and carefully lifted the plastic to reveal the sculpture, and let out a gasp.

It was beautiful and unusual.  
The naked torso of a man was reaching up out of the tangle of limbs that seemed to want to pull him down towards them. In a mirror image of the man below, another man, no an angel going off of the wings protruding from his back, clasped the shoulder of the trapped man pulling him away from the horrors surrounding him. He studied the details of the sculpture, the faces of the people seemed familiar….and then it dawned on him. It was _his_ face on the angel, and Dean’s on the trapped man.

He stepped back in shock and bumped into Dean, who had moved silently to stand near him, the green eyes studied Castiel’s face.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“I don’t…know what to say. I wasn’t expecting... Why?” he stuttered out.

“It was a story my dad used to tell me, how a righteous man went to hell to protect his brother. Than an angel came and raised him from perdition. In the story the angel didn’t have a name, but when I met you, and I looked up your name and that it was an angel’s name, it just made sense.”

Cas was struck dumb, no one had done anything like this for him before. He looked back at the clay, letting his fingers lightly skim the cool clay, wondering how much Dean observed to create such a likeness.

Dean started to cover the sculpture up, so it didn’t dry out, before turning and trapping Castiel with his arms on either side of his body, his hands resting on the bench, his faces inches away from Cas’. He was careful not to touch Castiel with any part of his body.

Cas could see every one of Dean’s freckles and the yellow flecks in his green eyes, the little creases around his eyes from smiling, it would be so easy to lean in and kiss the man in front of him..  
Dean leant forward slightly, waiting for Castiel’s reaction, his eyes studying Cas’. He was letting Cas make the decision; if he wanted this, he could lean forward and kiss Dean, if he didn’t, he could turn away again. It was Dean’s hesitation, his eyes silently asking permission that broke Castiel.

Castiel lunged forward and met Dean’s lips.  
His whole body felt like it was on fire.  And Dean was the balm that cooled it. He had wondered what it was like to kiss Dean. It was soothing and electrifying all at once, like a gentle hum under his skin, that was building.  
Dean’s arms came around him pulling him closer, holding him tighter. His tongue licked at the seam of Cas’ mouth, seeking entrance and Cas parted his lips, letting him in.  
That’s were things got really out of control.  
As Dean’ tongue darted into his mouth to taste him, a million images filled Castiel’s mind. Of kisses in the rain, legs and arms entwined together in nakedness, holding hands, breakfast in bed, a boy running in the garden hugging the apple tree, sitting on the porch swing watching the sunset, growing old together. They weren’t images from Castiel, they were Dean’s thoughts.  
He was so open and giving, showing him everything he wanted with Castiel. It was madness, and Castiel, greedily wanted it all.  
He lifted his hands to Dean’s hair, running his fingers through it. Dean’s hands ran down his sides and cupped his ass and lifted Cas on to the bench. Cas’ legs wrapped around Dean’s waist, pulling their hips together.  
He couldn’t get enough. It was consuming him. He groaned into Dean’s mouth as he felt Dean’s hand sneak under his shirt his palms splaying over his ribs. The idea of ever breaking contact with this beautiful man in front of him was heart breaking.  
How could anything feel so right? How could something so bright, last? It was like a shooting star, streaking across the sky. A beautiful blaze of light before disappearing. The unknown scared him. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t let Dean in, no matter how much he wanted to.

“Dean?” he moaned, trying to break their kiss, before kissing Dean again.

“Mmm?” they continued to kiss,

“Dean.” He whispered as he brought his hands up to Dean’s chest and slowly broke the kiss, resting their foreheads together, their lips still slightly touching. Their eyes were closed and both were breathing heavily. He lightly brushed their lips together again before opening his eyes to see Dean’s green eyes studying him, the pupils wide.

“Wow,” murmured Dean, his voice rough, “I’ve never had a first kiss like that before.”

Castiel swallowed. “I’ve never had a kiss.”

Dean cupped his cheek. “I’m glad I was your first.”

Cas nodded, “Me too, but please,” he pushed them slightly apart. “Let me go.”

“I don’t think I can.”

Castiel felt weak, like he had run a marathon and by the way Dean was trembling, he thought he must felt the same. He slid off the bench and wriggled away from the other man. Dean let him go and leaned on the counter to hold himself up.

“All that from one kiss Cas; You know, if we ever make love, I’m going to need a week to recover.” He told Castiel as he watched the dark haired man move towards the door.

Castiel took in a deep breath in and looked back at Dean. Dean talked about the future so easily. Thought about their possible future too easily. And he almost went back to Dean. But he couldn’t bring himself to move. Love stories ended, the pleasure would turn to pain, and he couldn’t spend the rest of his life hurting from it.

“I’m sorry Dean, this shouldn’t have happened. It’s can’t happen again.” And he turned and dashed out of the house.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Gabe was glad he had started work, not just because he could finally do something he enjoyed, but it meant getting away from his brother for a while.

He hadn’t asked what had happened between Cas and Dean, but he had an idea when Cas had come storming back into the house looking disheveled, his shirt untucked before retreating upstairs. He had reappeared after a shower before leaving for the garden. And this continued for the rest of the week. Castiel was restless and in love.   
Even if he couldn’t admit that to himself, both Gabe and Anna could see it.   
They watched him in the garden at night, drifting towards to the fence that divided his and Dean’s yards. Flowers that didn’t bloom at night burst into life as he brushed past them; Fireflies appeared at dusk and stayed the night in the garden following the dark haired man, leaving a golden, blinking trail of light in his wake.  
The house was agitated too. It creaked more, like there was a wind pulling at the roof and windows, even though the days where clear and still. Anna had even commented to Gabe about the changes. He told her not to worry, things were a little off because her uncle didn’t know how to handle being in love. Things would settle when he worked it out.   
That had been over a week ago.

Since than Gabriel had started working at the Sundae Funday and been shown the ropes by both Charlie and Jo on his first day. Charlie was passionate about the experience as much as the ice cream. She was keen to get Gabe’s ideas on different flavors combinations and had promised in time, that they could add his ideas as weekly special.  
Jo was a whiz at combining the different candies and toppings into the ice cream on the cold rock slab before serving and she was a great teacher.   
It was the summer so there was a steady stream of customers. Some were new families who had moved to the area, others Gabe knew from school with their children. Gabe was a little worried how he would go seeing people from his past, especially after the market incident, but for the most part it went smoothly. They were surprised to see him back but welcoming all the same.   
Earlier in the week Bela Talbot, who had been the school gossip, and was now the town gossip, had came snooping around trying to pick up anything interesting. But Jo had came to the rescue, giving the posh women an earful and kicking her out.

It was almost closing time on Friday, when Gabe heard the bell tinkle at the door.

“I won’t be a moment!” he called as he put the mop and bucket away. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Balthazar standing there.   
His hair was still bright blonde, though it was starting to thin a little, and his eyes icy blue, but he was starting to show his age around his eyes, crinkles from the sun and smiling. He had his hands in the pockets of black dress pants, and a light grey v-neck shirt clung to his chest. A black open blazer pulled the whole look together.

“Hello Gabriel.” He said with a slight accent, that he still had it after all these years. Gabriel knew that is was from when he was young, and had spent his earlier school years abroad at boarding school.

“Balthazar.” He breathed, “What are you doing here?”

“I heard you were back in town.”

“I bet you did. Bela Talbot would talk under water with a mouth full of marbles.” Gabe snarked.

Balthazar chuckled and sat down at a booth gesturing at the opposite one. Gabriel hesitated, wondering if he should flip the open sign to close. He decided not to, that might look worse.  
He slid in the seat opposite his ex, crossing his arms.

“I wanted to make amends. I heard what happened at the markets.”

“It’s really not your place to apologize for your wife Balth.”

Balthazar’s shoulders slumped a fraction, “No, but Meg can be…fiery, when she feels threatened.”

“Oh god!” exclaimed Gabe in disgust. He stood up and turned away, Balthazar followed. “Does everyone think I can back for _you_?”

“Why did you come back then?”

“Like I told your wife, it’s my home. My family is here. And no, I didn’t like my family than, but I changed.” He studied the other man. Saw a whole life time that he would never really know, not now, they had both changed too much to even be friends anymore.

He sighed. “And you’re not the man you used to be either. Did you get to do any of things we talked about? Did you get to travel? Trace your family history?” He asked quietly.

“No I’m not, those are old dreams. I traded them for new ones. Gabe, I love my wife, our children, and the life we’ve built together. We married as soon as we found out we were pregnant. I’m sorry if it was sudden, we just, drifted together after you and I broke up."

"Oh please! Meg was just waiting for the opportunity. And obviously you didn't fight it too hard."  
  
"No, you're right I didn't. And when she got pregnant I wanted to do the right thing by her.”

“Of course you did. You were always the golden boy, all about doing the right thing.” Muttered Gabe.

Balthazar reached out to Gabriel and placed his hands on his shoulders, getting the shorter man to look at him. “I did love you Gabe, a long time ago, and breaking up with you was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have regretted everyday how I handled the whole thing. But I am happy with Meg. She is the best thing that happened to me.”

That stung Gabe a bit. But he could see that Balthazar was genuine in his apology and in his love for Meg, regardless how it had come about.

  
So much time had passed, neither of them should be still punishing themselves for things they did so long ago, when they were teenagers. Hanging on to a dream that didn’t exist anymore, made no sense. Gabriel was enough of a man to see that Balthazar needed some kind of closure, even more than he did maybe. Besides, he came back to Lawrence to start over, he needed to let this go too, and he would free them both.

“I loved you too. But you broke me Balth. Part of the reason I left was because of you; and I spent a life time looking for something like what we had. I came close to finding it once, but it was taken from me, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be lucky enough to find it again. But that journey, brought me my daughter, it brought me home. So I’m grateful. And I am glad you have found happiness. That’s all I have ever wanted. It’s time we both moved on.”

Balthazar’s eyes studied Gabriel face. “Thank you Gabriel.” He leant forward and kissed Gabe’s forehead. “I wish you all the happiness as well. I’m glad you found your way home.”

Gabriel walked him to the door and they said good-bye. He flipped the sign and looked into the square, his hairs on his neck rose, and he had the odd sense he was being watched. He chewed his lip nervously before stepping back inside and slamming the door shut, sliding the heavy lock in place, his heart pounding.

***

When he got home he locked the front door and slid the chain across, before making his way around the rest of the house. Castiel stuck his head out of the kitchen and frowned in confusion when he saw him checking the window locks.

“Gabe? What are you doing?”

“I, um, just checking the windows, it might storm later.” He lied.

“They are fine. You don’t need to worry. Anna is upstairs by the way.” He disappeared back into the kitchen. Gabriel stayed a few more minutes checking the down stairs locks before heading to the kitchen. He stole a few blue berries from the pile before peering into the window of the oven seeing blueberry tarts.

“Making something else for Dean?”

“Yes.”

“Did it not work last time?” He sniggered as he watched his brother’s back stiffen.

“No.” he growled out.

Gabe laughed and picked up the bunch of blue flowers at Castiel’s elbow. “Hey they are the same colour as your eyes! Do you really want Dean to see these and think of you?”

His brother snatched them away in frustration, “They’re bachelor buttons. They make people see sharper, helping them to find things. I’m going to sprinkle them on the tarts.”

“So, you want Dean to see that you aren’t the one he is looking for?”

“Exactly.” He turned to pull the tarts out of the oven.

Gabe fiddled with the petals that had fell on the bench, drawing them into a pile before than asking suddenly. “Do you ever think about mom?” 

There was a hiss behind him and a clatter of a tray.

“Cas!”

Castiel was shaking his hand before going to the sink and running in under cold water. He had burnt himself on the hot tray. Gabriel was at his side. “Are you okay?

“Yes, I’m fine.” He said gruffly. “It’s only a graze.” He held up his hand to show Gabe, the skin was inflamed from the base of his pinkie on his right hand to his wrist, but not blistered “The oven mit slipped.”

“It doesn’t look okay.” Said Gabe doubtfully, as he watched Cas dry his hands and go back to the oven.

“Why did you bring up Mom?” he asked quietly pulling the tarts out carefully and putting them on the counter.

“I’ve been thinking about how she came back here, so you could go to school here.

Castiel stopped and looked up from where he was placing the tarts on a wire rack to cool, his brow furrowed.

“She didn’t come back for me Gabe.” He said quietly. “She came back so you could be born here.  Did you not know that?” surprise coloring his voice.

“She left when I was two years old. If I _had_ meant anything at all to her, if either of us had, she wouldn’t have left. If it wasn’t for the photographs of Mom that Grandma had given me, I wouldn’t even know what she looked like. I couldn’t imagine ever leaving Anna. She is my world.

“I can see that Gabe.” He murmured as he went about picking the blue flowers of their steams, “What ever happened to those photos of Mom? I had forgotten about them.”

Gabe was looking out the large kitchen window, pulling it closed, when he suddenly felt like he was transported to the kitchen in Seattle. He turned and walked through the arch way to the living room and pulled up the cushion on the couch, where and envelope labelled _Mom._ He slipped the photos from the envelope flicking through the life of his mother. He found one that made his blood run cold. Eve was maybe eighteen years old, her long black hair hanging down her back, standing by the town welcome sign, with a sign of her sign, saying _“So Long Lawrence! You Suck!”_ When Gabe was a teenager he had though it was hilarious. But now he was terrified Luke would find the envelope.  He would find them again. Gabe’s head snapped around as he heard keys in the front door. He stuffed the envelope under the couch cushion. Luke was coming in. He was going to find Gabe…

“Gabriel?”

He felt Castiel lay his hand on his arm and he jerked away in surprised, his breathing was coming in quick pants.

“I-I-um – I forgot to bring them with me. I left them.”

“Are you alright?” his brother asked in concern.

Gabriel nodded, trying to pull himself together, he went back to closing the window when he smelt it. The faint smell of Luke’s cologne on the air. As if his vision had brought Luke back with him. He slammed the window shut and locked it. Locking the feeling of being watched out, for the second time that day.

“Just thinking about mom you know. I’m fine.”

“Okay. If you say so.” Castiel said not sounding convinced, and we went back to his baking, and Gabe fled the kitchen and sat on the stairs, wrapping his arms around his middle, trying to control the panic that was rising. He stuffed his knuckles in his mouth and bit down, starving off the choking feeling in his throat. He inhaled and let out a shaky breath.

It was going to be okay. Luke didn’t know about the photos and he wouldn’t find them. They were safe. Or so he prayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little short one guys, enjoy :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!
> 
> Sorry about the late update, mostly life kicking my butt atm, so haven't had a chance to sit down and write this properly.  
> I've reworked this chapter a lot and I'm still not 100% with it. But I just have to keep reminding myself, just keep writing.  
> Thanks for your patience. And hopefully the next chapter will be out quicker.  
> All mistakes are my own, as I'm my own editor.  
> Kudos, comments and bookmarks are always welcome. :)

**Chapter 9**

Gabriel hadn’t slept well for the past few nights. He had been pacing around the house, checking and rechecking locks, peering out into the darkness, looking for any kind of sign that Luke was going to burst in and find them. He felt like the walking dead, from the lack of sleep and the worry. It didn’t help that ever since he had been mentally transported back to the unit in Seattle, Gabe kept smelling Luke’s cologne. It would appear around him, filling the room until the house's windows would open on their own accord and the ceiling fans would start as if they were chasing the smell from the house, away from him. As if it was protecting him.

“Hey Cas! Where are you?” Gabe called into the empty house.

“Down here!” Came a muffled reply. Gabe looked around and saw the door to the basement was open. He climbed down the stairs into the dark. He was welcomed by the cool darkness.  
For as long as anyone could remember there hadn’t been a light in the basement. The light bulb had burnt out many, many years ago, and instead of replacing it, it had turned into a tradition to keep the basement in the dark.  
Every once in a while, they would have someone knock on their door asking if they could just sit in the basement, as it was said to bring calmness and restore ones equilibrium in times of stress. Gabe could certainly feel that as he made his way through the darkness, and wondered if he should just move into the basement so he would stop worrying about Luke.  
As his eyes adjusted he saw Cas at the end with a flashlight.

“Is Anna with you?” He was trying not to be over bearing but since the feeling of being watched had settled over him and he was finding it hard not to have his daughter in his sight at all times. Anna was extremely sensitive to people’s feelings and moods and he didn’t want to worry or scare her if it was nothing.

“She is in the garden. She spends most of her time out there these days. Don’t worry, the tree stopped throwing apples at her when she started throwing them back.” Cas chuckled.

Gabe laughed, “That’s my girl.” The garden was fenced and locked, no one could reach her in there.

“What are you doing here in the dark?”

Castiel smiled and handed him a wine bottle, “I’m counting the bottles of Honeysuckle wine for the fourth of July festival.” He brushed the dust off his hand on his pants, before putting it on his hip. “I thought I had made forty, but there is only thirty-five.” He pondered to himself.

“Well, what’s this bottle” asked Gabe trying to peer at the bottle’s label in the gloom.

“That’s Rose Geranium wine.”

“Is this something else you are going to give to Dean?”

Castiel fidgeted, “I wondered if you could take it to him, and the tart….”

Gabe looked at his brother, who was silently begging him with his eyes, looking like a kicked puppy.

“Fine, but just this once. I don’t agree with it and I don’t understand why you are doing it. I’ll have to take it over this afternoon though, he is working out at Bobby’s on his sculpture. What is the wine supposed to do?”

Castiel’s head whipped around so fast Gabe thought he might have given himself whiplash.

“Oh, I didn’t know.” He muttered trying to cover his anxiety.  
Castiel felt like he was going crazy sometimes. His first thought in the morning was of Dean, than the second was how to stop thinking about him. He would watch out the window, hoping for a glimpse of the green eyed man, all the while plotting of ways to never see him again. His lips constantly felt tingly from their kiss, and he found himself bring his fingertips up to touch them more often than not.  
He had thought about seeing Dean again and repeating the kiss, but he also wished he had never given in, because he was now thinking about Dean more than ever.  
It was foolish and it was sending him insane.

“It’s supposed to signal the drinker to return to happiness. Remember the good times.”

Gabe just raised his eye brow at the explanation but didn’t say anything. They climbed the stairs together, Castiel turned to close and lock the basement door, and Gabe put his hand on his brother’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey Cas, I don’t know what is happening between the two of you, but Dean is a good guy,” Cas looked confused. “I know surprised the hell out of me too. Men can be good! Who would have thunk it! And it’s up to you, but maybe you should give Dean a chance.”

Castiel turned away in a huff to put the flashlight away, and Gabriel sighed. His brother could be so stubborn. Willing to sacrifice a chance of happiness just to avoid the risk of being hurt and abandoned.  
As Cas placed the torch near the candles and battery powered lanterns, the portable radio crackled to life because of his frustration, and both men jumped in surprise. Cas quickly turned it off and leant against the wall his eyes closed before looking at his brother.

“He is isn’t a constant.”

“A constant?”

Castiel chewed his bottom lip trying to put into words how to explain what Dean was.

“He is able to change, put down roots and grow anywhere, I’m not like that. I have to have things in a certain way to thrive.”

Gabe frowned at him, “Are you saying Dean Winchester is a weed who grows in the pavement cracks and you’re the fucking apple tree?! You’re an idiot Cas. A complete idiot! Have you never heard of ‘opposites attract?’”

Cas flinched at his outburst before giving him a pained look and walked into the kitchen, Gabe following him. “I don’t know how else to explain it.” Cas told his brother.

Gabe watched his brother move around the kitchen. “I’m not a constant am I?” he said quietly.

“No, Gabe you’re not, and I’m waiting for the day that you decide that Lawrence isn’t for you and you leave again.  And it terrifies me. To loose both you and Anna after only just starting to get to know you again. And I feel the same way about Dean. It will end bitter and everyone would get hurt. He would be able to leave and start over, and I would have to stay here, where everything reminded me of him and everything that was safe and familiar would become foreign and shards of ice would form in my heart, piece by piece until I was frozen and cold…” he trailed off. “Everyone leaves eventually.” he barely whispered.

“Wow. You’re really messed up bro.”

Castiel closed his eyes in frustration. “I just told you this really personal thing and that is how you respond?”

“Look, how many times do I need to tell you Anna and I aren’t going anywhere? You might as well get used to us. As for Dean, who says it has to or will end? Who says he will leave? From what he has told me, he is back in Lawrence for good; his family is here, he has a job and a house…he seems to be putting roots down to me.”

“I’m not-, I’m not good _for_ him, Gabe.”

“You don’t see yourself very clearly, do you? You don’t see how you’ve grown. And maybe if I had been here for the last eighteen years I wouldn’t see it either. But you have changed Castiel. For the better. I mean Anna looks at you like you are some magical wizard, dishing out your wisdom; Charlie at the shop raves about you. Yes, I found out you made her and Dorothy’s wedding cake last year, it was part of the reason she gave me a job. You were an aloof, anxious child, who refused to make friends even with your own brother. I see now that was just away to protect yourself from being hurt. But you aren’t that person anymore. And you’re allowed to want things, letting people in isn’t a weakness.”

“I’m content with my life here Gabe, my business, the garden, Rowena, you and Anna, while you stay. I don’t need anything else.”

“So you’re content, but not blissfully happy, which you’re okay with…I can see why, but it doesn’t make much sense.” snorted Gabe.

Castiel was frowning at the flour he was measuring out into a bowl, ““I’m not like you Gabe. I’m not brave. I can’t risk the pain. Please understand, it’s my life, and I’ve made my decision. I can’t have Dean Winchester in it.”

Gabe glared at his brother before giving up and throwing his hands up, “Fine! Fine, it’s your life, I think you’re an idiot. But what can I do.”

“Thank you.” Murmured Castiel.

Gabe started making coffee for both of them while Castiel combined ingredients for cupcakes he had been hired to make for a birthday party. When Gabriel placed the mug by Castiel’s elbow the dark haired man looked up.

“You locked me outside, in the garden last night. There was no accusation in his voice, just a statement of fact.

Gabriel went very still. He had thought his midnight activities were a secret, that no one had noticed him re-checking the locks, testing doors, unable to shake the feeling of Luke finding them. When he had found the sun room unlocked last night, he locked it, not realizing Castiel was outside gardening.

“Did I?” he replied trying to sound shocked. “Must have been sleep walking again.” he laughed trying to brush it off. “Sorry about that. How did you get back in?”

“I have a spare key hidden.”

“Ah well, no harm than.”

Cas regarded his brother; Gabe had been acting strange, a little more jumpy than usual, paranoid about the locks, watching Anna like a hawk even more than usual. He knew Gabriel thought he was hiding his odd behavior and if he wasn’t going to bring it up Castiel wasn’t going to push him. Cas shrugged,  and wiped his hands on his apron before bending down pulling out a box from the under counter cupboard and placing it on the bench and sliding towards his younger brother.

“What’s this?” asked Gabe starting to open the box.

“A gift,” Cas told him, “I saw it the other day and I knew you were working on some ice cream recipe for the Fourth of July festival…”

“Oh my god! You bought me an ice-cream machine?”

Castiel nodded, wringing his hands nervously, “There are ingredients in the fridge for an ice cream base, I’m not sure what else you needed or wanted but my pantry is always stocked, so if you wanted to give your recipes a test run before taking them to Charlie, you can.”

Gabe rushed over to his brother and wrapped him in a hug, Cas just stood there awkwardly for a moment, before tentatively wrapping his arms around his brother patting his back.

“Thank you Cas! It means a lot.”

They broke apart “What are you going to make?”

“Don’t you worry Cas, I have a few ideas.” And he went to fetch his note-book.

***

The day had turned hot and sticky.  
Rowena never regretted wearing her long gowns, what she did regret was wearing white, as she watched the dust cloud appeared behind the car. She had hired a taxi to take her out to Bobby Singers salvage yard, because she had the sudden urge to bring him a bag of barbecue smoking wood chips.  
She paid the driver and told him to wait before stepping out of the car she sighed as she watched the dust settle on top of her shoes. She knew the hem of her skirt would be filthy before she got two steps. Squaring her shoulders she walked towards the run down house.

Bobby had heard the car come down the drive, and he looked out of the blinds to see a taxi pulling up. When he saw the red hair, he knew it couldn’t be anyone else but Rowena MacLeod. He rolled towards the front door and opened it before she could knock.

“Rowena MacLeod. What are you doing all the way out here?”

“Can’t a woman drop in on an old friend?”

“No. Because someone like you, don’t usually drop in without cause.”

“You’re right” she opens her tote bag and pulls out a bag of barbecuing wood chips handing it to Bobby. “These are for you.”

Bobby took the bag, looking a bit confused by it. “Ah, thank you? Do you want to come in for coffee, or maybe something stronger?”

“Well, if you’re offering Singer, I could stay for a short while.” She waved, to the taxi driver indicating he could leave. “I will need a lift back into town mind.”

“Dean and Sam are here, one of the boys can take you. But I suspect you might have already knew that.”

“Aye, I may have” she agreed a smirk on her lips.

She followed him into the house and he rolled into the kitchen, dumping the bag of wood chips on the table than pulling out two glasses and rolling towards the lounge room, which had a large desk in the middle and was stacked high with books and papers. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the mantle and poured them both a generous amount. Rowena sat on the couch by the window.

The clinked glasses before downing them in one go. Bobby poured them another, which they sipped more slowly.

“I hear Gabriel’s back in town.”

Rowena cradled her glass

“Aye, he is. He has a child now, Anna. Bright red hair too.” she twirled a ringlet of her own red locks around her finger.

“How is Castiel taking it?”

“Better than I thought he would. He seems to be accepting it. He is more thrown out by Dean living next door to him.”

“Dean might have mentioned him once or twice.” Bobby huffed, “Seems pretty smitten.”

Rowena just nodded, looking sad, “So is Castiel, but he won’t admit it.”

“Idjits, the lot of them.” He muttered shaking his head, “So Gabriel is staying than?”

“Yes, I think so, he has a job in town and I know he is looking into the school for Anna.”

“He has been gone a long time.”

Rowena just nodded, “His time away hasn’t been kind to him, unfortunately.”

“Well, he is home now.” Bobby said gruffly.

Their comfortable silence was interrupted by Sam and Dean coming through the front door of the house, arguing loudly.

“Dean, it’s not a big deal okay.”

“Oh like hell it is! Couldn’t you have asked me first before volunteering me?”

“It’s for a good cause, and besides I’ll be there helping. I don’t know what you’re worried about, you’re really good.”

Dean was grumbling under his breath about his brother being a busy body looking he noticed Rowena and Bobby drinking whiskey in the sitting room.

“Hey Rowena! You look better every time I see you!” he gave her a flirty grin.

“Oh be off with you, Dean Winchester, you devil man.” She smiled though. “Hello Samuel.” She winked and waved her fingers at him, leaving him flustered.

“Hello Rowena, how are you?”

“Oh you know me, can’t complain.”

Sam gave a nervous smile, “Would you like to stay for dinner? I’m cooking.”

“Which is a danger in itself.” added Dean.

Sam shoved at him, “Hey, I’m not that bad.”

“No, but you insist on adding a lot more green leafy crap to things that don’t need it.”  Sam rolled his eyes at his brother and opened his mouth to argue that Dean could use more vegetables in his diet, but was interrupted by Rowena.

“No, I won’t be staying for dinner boys. I was hoping to get a lift home.” She eyed Dean.

“Ah, sure. Just let me get cleaned up.” He looked at his arms streaked with dust and metal shaving, he stomped up the stairs.

Sam came into the lounge area after grabbing a beer and sat down next to Rowena, “So what brings you out here?”

Bobby pointed to the table which held the bag of wood chips.

“Brought us those. Dean will be happy. He has been keen to get the meat smoker going.”

Sam nodded. “We will have to have a barbecue sometime. Though he is pretty focused on his sculpture at the moment.”

“Sculpture?” queried Rowena.

“Yeah, great big massive thing, he is working on at the moment. Dunno where he thinks he is going to put it once it’s done.” Bobby grouched sipping his amber liquid.

“The salvage yard is huge Bobby, I’m sure it will fit.” Laughed Sam.

“Should be trying to get it displayed somewhere in a gallery or something. People should see his work.”

“I agree, but Dean says he doesn’t want the hassle.”

Rowena frowned “I thought Dean was a teacher, like you Samuel.”

“He is, of art. When school goes back he will start teaching at the campus. He has been teaching casually for a few years now. But this will be his first time as a permeant placement.”

“So he is staying?”

Sam nodded, “Looks like it. I mean he always said he didn’t mind moving about, but he also likes having a home base, you know. Somewhere to make his own. I think he has finally found it here. He is content.”

Bobby nodded in agreement. “It’s good to have him back, even if he is always buried in his work, and totally distracted by that Castiel of yours.” he gestured at Rowena with his glass.

Dean came stomping down the stairs, freshly showered, hair still damp, pulling a green checked shirt over a white t-shirt.

“Are you ready to go? Or would you like to stay longer Rowena?”

“No,” she tossed her head back and drained the rest of her glass in one go. “I’m ready now.” She stood and looked at Bobby and Sam.

 “Will I see you at the Fourth of July festival?”

“Sure will, wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Said Bobby.

“That’s what I like to hear.” She adjusted her bag on her shoulder and walked towards the door, the three men following.

“Even Dean is going to be there.” Grinned Sam at his brother.

“Only because you volunteered me.” He grumbled.

“Oh that will be lovely dear. The festival is always so much fun.”

They said their good-byes as Dean and Rowena slid into the Impala, and Sam and Bobby waved from the porch as they pull away, watching the dust fly after them.

“She gave me a pair of shoes once.” Said Sam quietly. “The right size and everything. I had just started work at the campus. She came all the way out there to give them to me.”

“And? What happened?”

“I left them in my office. I didn’t want to throw them out but I didn’t want to be embarrassed in front of the other teachers. But the next week, Dean came and visited and we went out drinking. It had been raining and I lost my shoe in the drain. I had to walk home with one shoe.”

Bobby laughed at Sam’s story.

“People in this town, learn their lesson quick when it comes to the Novak’s.” he turned his wheel chair around heading back into the house, calling over his shoulder. “Whenever there is one around, shut up and pay attention.”

***

The hot day was coming to a close and finally cooling off as the Novak's sat on the porch swing eating bright purple ice cream from individual glass bowls.  
It was the first batch Gabriel had made that day. It was blueberry and Basil.  
Gabriel wanted to bring flavors to people that they wouldn’t normally try and in time, possible add more of the flowers from the garden. He had an idea for lavender honey ice cream he was keen to try out, using the honey from the garden. He wondered if the properties of them would come out in the ice cream. He didn’t see why not. He would need to talk to Castiel about it.

“This is really good Gabe. You have a real instinct for flavor combinations.” Commented Castiel as licked his spoon.

“Aw, thanks bro. But I think it was more luck than anything.”

“I doubt that very much.” Laughed Castiel. “You’re a natural.”

They all turned and looked when they heard the low rumble of Dean’s black Chevy Impala pull up in his drive. He climbed out, the door squeaking. They were surprised to see Rowena exist on the passenger side. She slide the tote over her shoulder and spoke to Dean over the top of the car. They both looked towards the house and spied the three of them together on the porch and Dean waved. Anna and Gabe waved back cheerily, while Castiel ignored him. Dean’s face fell slightly and Gabriel nudged his brother in the ribs.

“That wasn’t very nice.”

Castiel just glared at his brother.

Rowena flicked the long hair over her shoulder before giving Dean a wave good-bye than turned towards the Novak’s home.

“Rowena!” cried Anna as she put her bowl down and ran down the steps to the red headed women throwing her arms around her waist giving her a hug “We are having purple ice-cream that Daddy made! Do you want some?”

Rowena bent down and wiped a purple smear from the girl’s cheek, earning a giggle from the small girl. She took the girls small hands in hers.

“Who could say no to purple ice cream?” They climb the stairs to the brothers.

“Chatting up Dean Winchester now Rowena?” asked Gabriel playfully, he felt Castiel tense up next to him and he fought a smirk from appearing on his lips.

“Just a wee bit. But I don’t think it will get me anywhere.” She chucked, Dropping her tote to the floor and taking a seat next to Gabriel, Anna on her lap.

“I have something for you Castiel. Anna can you reach my bag?”

Anna leaned over and lifted the bag up on to her lap. Rowena leaned over her shoulder to peer into the depth, her hands sorting through the contents. Anna looked too, the bag seemed like it was bottomless, filled with Band-Aids, little salt packets, pens, plastic forks, a few coins, pocket sewing kits; all things she might she need to give people while she was out

“Ah ha! Got it!” Rowena pulled out a dark blue tie, she leaned over Gabe and passed it over to Castiel.

Castiel took the tie running it through his fingers. “Thank you Rowena.”

“I know you don’t wear ties, but I knew it was meant for you, especially in this colour.”

“It does match your eyes Cas.” Giggled Gabriel, which earned him a light flick of the tie on his arm from Castiel, who was smiling slightly. Anna smiled at the two brothers acting like children.

“Daddy?”

“Yes baby?”

“Can Rowena have some purple ice-cream?”

“Of course! The more guinea pigs the better. Wait til you try this Rowena, Blueberry and Basil! One of my more genius ideas, if I do say so myself.” He jumped up “Do you want some more Anna?”

“Yes please!” She hopped off Rowena’s lap and skipped inside, Gabe following her.

Rowena’s keen eyes followed Gabriel. “He seems happy.”

“Maybe.”

“He isn’t?”

“He locked me outside in the garden last night.”

“Ah. What did he tell you happened?”

“He said he was sleep walking. But I think he was lying.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing. And if it is something he will tell you when he is ready.”

Castiel fiddle with the tie, wrapping it around his hands, while he thought. “Yes, I guess he will.”  He inhaled taking in a deep breath of evening air, but it was tinged with something.

“Can you smell that?”

Rowena sniffed delicately. “Cologne?”

“I’ve smelt it ever since we spoke about our mother the other day. It doesn’t belong to either Gabe or me.”

“Maybe it’s just something on the breeze.” Soothed Rowena.

“I don’t know. It’s just strange…it’s like it’s lingering here…”

“Okay, I’m coming back out, you two better stop talking smack about me!” called Gabriel.

Castiel looked away, trying to not look guilty. Rowena just smiled at Gabe.

“Only a little dear.”

Gabe smirked handing Rowena a glass bowl with the rich purple ice-cream. He stiffened slightly smelling Luke’s cologne on the breeze.

“Well, the colour is beautiful. Is it natural?”

“It certainly is.” He shook himself as he heard Rowena speak and plastered a look of slightly offense on his face, making Anna giggled from her seat on the ground.

Rowena dug her spoon in and tasted the ice-cream. Her face lit up.

“This is amazing Gabriel. I would never have thought to combine these flavors. You really have a knack for this!”

Gabriel blushed under the praise. “It’s nothing much, just experimenting.”

Rowena reached out and took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m serious Gabe, once people try these at the Fourth of July, Charlie will be run off her feet.”

Castiel spoke up, “You have to stop denying it Gabe.”

“Denying what?” he questioned.

“This.” He held up the bowl of ice-cream, “It’s your Novak magic Gabe.” Castiel was grinning. “And everyone is going to love it.”

***

Rowena left after finishing her ice-cream, and Gabriel gathered the bowls up and loaded them into the dishwasher, Castiel went to the fridge and pulled out the blue berry tart and rose geranium wine.

“Could you take this over to Dean before dinner?” he said holding up the items.

“Cas…”

“Gabe please. You said you would.” He blue eyes begging his brother.

His brother sighed “Fine, okay.” He took the tart and wine. “Anna wanna come and visit Dean?”

“Uh Huh.” Gabe handed the tart to her. “Think you can carry that?”

The little red headed nodded her face creased with concentration as she took the tart and headed for the door. “We will be back soon.” Called Gabe, holding the door open for Anna. Cas waved to them as he pulled left over salads from the fridge.

Luke’s cologne was still lingering at the door way like it was pacing back and forth trying to find a way in, and Gabe hurried Anna along.

Dean was sitting on his porch strumming his guitar, a beer bottle not far away.

“Hey guys!” he called cheerily.

“Hi Deano! We come bearing gifts, well they are from Castiel, but you know.”

Anna held out the blueberry tart, Dean rested the guitar on the wall of the house and took it from her.

“Thanks little lady.” Earning a smile from her. He turned back to Gabriel looking confused. “I’m having a hard time figuring out your brother. I think he is avoiding me, but he keeps giving me gifts. Is that a Novak thing?”

Gabriel laughed, “Oh he likes you, that’s why he keep giving you stuff.” Gabe put his hands on his hips, looking sternly at Dean,  “What did you do to him the other day, anyway? He has been in quite a flap ever since.”

“I kissed him, well, he kissed me, I kissed him back.”

“Is that it? Just a kiss?” Gabe snorted in disbelief.

“It was some kiss.” Dean’s ear went slightly pink at the memory.

“I didn’t know Cas it had in him.”

“I did.” Dean said quietly.

Anna tugged at his shirt sleeve, “Dean?” she whispered.

“Mmm?”

Anna was shyly ringing her hands. “Could I please draw on the easel?”

“Sure you can!” he rose, taking her small hand, balancing the tart in the other and going into the house.

“Are you and your Dad going to help me eat this tart?” he asked her. She looked up at her dad as they all went inside. “Ah, no Cas is making something for dinner, better not spoil our appetite. But this,” he lift the bottle, showing it off, “I won’t say no to.”

Dean chuckled “Alrighty then.”

  
He put the tart down on the bench in the kitchen and got the easel from the corner and put a sheet of paper on it. “Can you grab some wine glasses from the cupboard Gabe.” Dean nodded to above counter cupboard. Anna picked up a tin of pencils from the table.

“Have we got everything?” Dean asked. The father and daughter nodded and they went back to the porch. Dean set Anna up while Gabe poured them both glasses of wine, and turned on the porch light.

Dean sat down next to Gabe picking up the glass and smelling the contents. “So what is this?”

“Rose Geranium Wine. It’s supposed to bring back good memories. ”

“Well, to good memories!” he raised his glass to Gabe before bring it to his lips.

“He is hoping that the wine will make you remember someone else. Of happiness with someone else.” Blurted Gabe before Dean could take a sip.

Dean lowered the glass “What?”

Gabriel chewed at his lip, he had promised Cas he wouldn’t interfere between Dean and him anymore. But Cas also wasn’t thinking clearly.  “The flowers in our garden are special. Or maybe it’s the way they are prepared, I don’t really know how it works, but they can affect the eater. So Castiel has been making you dishes that will hopefully make you not interested in him.”

Dean leant forward resting his elbows on his knees and frowned at the floor. “I don’t understand.”

 “The casserole, the tart, even this wine, it’s all to get you to stop liking him. The flowers in them, should get you to stop. But you seem to be immune to them, so…”

Dean nodded slowly “Cas is interested in me?”

“Yes, but he doesn’t want to be, but that’s only because he is scared.” Gabe leaned forward mirroring Dean’s position. “Look, let me tell you something about my brother. He doesn’t like change, or things that go away. So, if you’re _really_ interested, don’t go away.”

Dean looked surprised at the idea. “I’m not planning to.”

Gabe narrowed his eyes, looking for the lie and saw none. “Good. Because if you hurt my brother, I will have to kill you.” He clinked his glass to Dean’s and took a drink. Dean grinned a bit and took a sip too.

“This is unusual. Good, but unsual.”

“”Welcome to Castiel’s world.” Laughed Gabe.

They leaned back in their chairs, Gabe watched his daughter draw some ice cream cones.

Dean and he drained their glasses.

“So what are your good memories Gabe?”

“Hmm?”

“Your good memories? Isn’t that what this wine is supposed to do?” Dean reached out for the bottle examining the liquid, before pouring himself some more. He offered more to Gabe who declined.

Gabe pondered his answer, “It’s funny, my good memories are of the last week, since coming back here. All those years of living, and my best memories are the most recent. What about you Dean?”

Den smacked his lips, “It’s good wine, but all I’m thinking about is Cas.”

Gabriel shook his head and laughed, “You’re hopeless.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay everyone. It is a loooong chapter so worth the wait I hope. As always, I am my own beta, any mistakes are my own and I am still getting back into the swing of writing and editing.
> 
> Enjoy!

Chapter 10

Lawrence Fourth of July Festival was held every year at the town show ground. It was the flattest most open area of the town but offered plenty of vantage points to see the fireworks that would end the night on a high. Families would bring picnics and umbrella’s to stake out a claim on a patch of grass, while the children would roll down the nearby hill. Leaving them red in the face, and with grass stained knees that would have their mother’s tutting at them.

The church, school, businesses and other community groups would bring food and drinks, or put on live entertainment or children activities, for a small donations at each stall.

The Novak’s supplied Honey-Suckle wine for the festival so that people could see in the dark; but, a side effect of being able to see in the dark is being aware of things that aren’t usually there, and that would lead to some revelations being revealed on the night of the festival.  
The Honey-Suckle wine stall was always popular; with people stopping by frequently asking quietly for the drink in tiny paper cups, as if it was some hallowed communal wine. Occasionally the local sheriff, Jody Mill’s, would drop by and ask “Now this is non-alcoholic right?”, and Castiel would answer with a straight face, like all the generations of Novak’s before, “Of course.”

  
But for the first time ever, the Novak’s were sharing a stall.  
Charlie has decided that the best way to get Gabriel’s ice cream flavors out there to the public, would be to launch them at the festival. She had been very impressed by Gabriel’s samples he had created in Castiel’s kitchen and had agreed to show case five of his original flavors.

Gabe had been nervous about putting himself out there with his creations and Castiel had offer that they could join stalls. Charlie had loved the idea saying the wine would complement the ice-cream.

Castiel filled paper cups of wine, placing them on the table and Gabe fiddled nervously with the portable freezers. Charlie was putting on the finishing touches to the chalk board sign advertising the different flavors.

“There! Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.” declared Charlie as she leaned it against the table and dusted her chalky hands off as she spied Gabe fidgeting. “Sit down Gabe, it will be fine. Granted the flavors are a little unusual but it’s kinda expected of Novak’s.”

Castiel grinned. “You’ve just hit on my secret to success Charlie.”

“Oh yeah?”

“When people think you have something that no one else has to give, they will go to great lengths to have it, _and_ pay a lot of money for it.”

Charlie laughed, “Fair point.”

“So you are saying if we are going to be strange we might as well be paid for it?” asked Gabe nudging his brother with his elbow.

“We aren’t strange Gabriel,” Castiel paused, a cheeky grin crinkling his eyes. “But yes.”

Gabriel turned to Charlie with a smile, “Jo isn’t helping us tonight?”

“No, she studies music up at the collage, and they are putting on some entertainment for tonight. She is actually a pretty decent singer. Then she is meeting up with her mum Ellen and Bobby later.”

Gabriel sat next to Charlie on the aluminum lawn chairs and looked over to the children’s area, where kids where making paper hats and Anna was getting her face painted. She grinned up happily at Dorothy, Charlie’s wife, as she put the finishing touches on a rainbow unicorn on her cheek. She looked up when she felt her dad’s eyes on her and she waved at him before turning and sitting down at a table next to a boy called with blonde floppy hair to make hats.

“She looks like she is having fun.” Commented Charlie.

“Yes. I think so. It will be good to meet some kids her own age before she goes to school.”

“Have you applied for the school yet?” Asked Castiel as he joined them on the silver chairs.

“I have the paperwork, and I’ve filled it out, just got to submit it.”

Charlie nodded, “That’s good, is Anna excited?”

“Yes, she can’t wait. Not that she doesn’t like hanging out in with you Cas.” Gabe told his brother who looked a bit sad.

“I know, I’m just going to miss having her around through the day.” He said quietly as he looked away.

They sat in silence, people watching as the milled around the show ground and the stalls.

“I can’t remember the last time I sat at the Novak table.” Gabe murmured.

“It’s been a while.” Agreed Castiel.

When Gabe had been a teenager he had spent summer at friend’s houses at their pool having barbecues, only turning up to the festival when the fireworks were about to start.

“It’s not so bad,” mused Charlie, “it’s not like anyone is going to come at us with torches and pitch forks.”

Cas and Gabe exchanged looks, as long as they went the evening without causing a scene like at the markets, they would be fine.

“Hello Rowena,” said Cas as she approached them and Gabe gave her a wave.

“Hello boys.” Castiel handed her a cup of wine and she knocked it back like a shot. “Whew! I need that. It’s another steamy day, isn’t?”

The men agreed.

Castiel peered at her face, “You do look a little flustered.”

“Oh you know big crowds, always so many things to give people.” She opened her bag and pulled out an ugly broach out of her bag. It was in a 1950’s style and the glass crystals were yellowed with age. “Actually, I need to give this to Anna, is she around?”

Gabe pointed to the kid’s activity area.

“Oh, good, I’ll pop over in a second. I found it in an old jewelry box. I hate to give it to her, it is so god damn awful.” She closed her fingers around the broach.

“Will you be staying for the fireworks?” Asked Gabe.

“Ah, no dear. I have a few other things to hand out after I see Anna that I will be off.”

The blonde man looked disappointed.

Rowena took another cup of wine and shot it too, “Ta Tah, boys. I will see you later.” And she wandered off to find Anna. Her long dark red gown flowing around her.

The night continued and Gabe and Charlie serve ice cream to some kids while Castiel served their parents wine. Jody made another turn by their table, narrowing her eyes at the wine Castiel was handing out but made no comment.  
The hair on the back of Castiel’s hands suddenly stood up and his fingers tips felt they had pins and needles.

“Don’t look now,” whispered his brother in his ear, “But Dean Winchester won’t stop staring at you.”

Of course Castiel looked up. Blue eyes met green and it was like he had been stung with static electricity.

“Damn it!” he growled. “Why did you make me look?”

“Hey, I told you not to!”

Castiel rolled his eyes, and chanced another look and groaned when he saw Dean starting to approach the stall, from near the band stand.

“Oh great, now look, he is coming over.”

“Heaven forbid!” cackled Gabe

“Yeah well, I’m not the only one being stared at.” He snapped at his brother.

Gabriel looked confused, “Huh?”

Castiel pointed to the band stand were Sam was helping to set up some speakers, for the live music later. His eyes kept flicking back to Gabe as he worked, and whenever someone asked him something they would have to repeat it, because he didn’t hear them the first time.

Gabe gave him a smile and Sam stumbled over the extension cord he was laying out. Gabe pinched his lips together trying not to laugh. He felt Castiel turn away and he grabbed his arm,

“And where do you think you’re going?” he asked.

“To get something out of the van.”

“Ah, no, you’re not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Gentleman, do you need a referee?”

Gabe let go of Castiel’s arm grinning, his work done. Castiel scowled at him, his expression like thunder.

“Hey Dean! You look nice.” Complimented Gabe.

Dean looked down at his dark jeans and denim look dress shirt.

“Thanks man.” He ran his hand nervously through his hair, ruffling it up a bit. “So everyone keeps tell me I need to drink this Novak honey suckle wine. It’s either a town tradition, or everyone is in on the whole ‘Castiel – making – Dean-not-like-him -scheme.’”

Castiel’s eyes went wide in shock, “Excuse me?”

“Gabe told me what you were doing with the food and wine you’ve been giving me.”

Castiel rounded on his brother, hands clenching at his sides, who had the sense to look a little sheepish.

Castiel shoved a paper cup at Dean, “Honey suckle wine makes you see in the dark.” He snapped “You don’t have to drink it. Walk into a tree when it gets dark, fall in a ditch. I don’t care.”

Dean took the cup smiling, his eyes locked on Castiel “It also means I’ll be able to see _you_ in the dark.”

Castiel drew in a sharp breath through his nose and rolled his eyes turning away from the other man, narrowing his eyes.

Dean’s smile just grew and he took a drink.

Gabe just smirked at the two men in front of him. He was glad he had told Dean about the food and that his brother did like him. It was amusing to watch Castiel try and deny the connection between them.

Dean finished his cup, smacking his lips. “Well, I’ll see you guys a bit later.” He nodded to Gabe and Castiel, he flashed a smile at Charlie, who grinned, and made his way back over to Sam.

Charlie sighed “He is very handsome.”

“You’re gay Charlie!” laughed Gabe

“So? I can’t appreciate art?”

Gabe shook his head and looked at his brother who was glaring at him. He could feel the anger radiating off him. He was sure if he reached out and touched him he would get burnt.

“You told him?!” Castiel hissed.

“Why are you so surprised? You should have known I would do something like that. I’m predictable after all.”

“You are not!”

“I am.”

Castiel looked annoyed but there was a hint of a smile playing at the edge of his lips. He made a shooing motion with his hands, “Oh, go away, and stop feeling your Novak roots.”

***

Dean was feeling nervous, and the butterflies were starting to flutter in his stomach. It didn’t help that Castiel was not far away from the band stand and would essential have a front row seat.

“I’m still mad at you, you know that right?” He told his brother, who was doing last minute sound checks.

“No you’re not.” Countered Sam, as he shook his hair out of his eyes. “Besides it, like maybe 5 songs, you’re not even the only one performing on the stage. Jo, Chuck, Ash and Donna are out there as well.”

Dean pointed an accusing finger at Sam “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you somehow got out of it.”

Sam grinned at his sulking brother. “Hey, I am volunteering my tech knowledge. I am helping.”

Dean shook his head in disgust but smiled and picked up his guitar, strumming it a couple of times than adjusting the tuning.

The collage had decided that they would provide the live entertainment at the festival this year and had asked for volunteers who would be able to play music, and sing. Sam saw it as a great opportunity to get Dean involved with the collage staff even before his first official day. Dean wasn’t there and unable to object so Sam had signed him up to play a few songs on the guitar. Chuck Shirley from the music department had already signed up and Jo Harvelle, who was like a little sister to the boys, had too.  
Dean had been playing guitar for years but had never performed in front of people simply because he had always said it was something for him, just the same way he saw his art. Which was fine. But Sam didn’t think it would hurt for him to get out of his comfort zone occasionally either.

“Have you been over to the Novak stall yet?” Dean asked Sam.

“No not yet.”

“Man, you need to get over there Gabe has all these crazy ice-cream flavors he has invented, using herbs and flowers and stuff. It’s pretty cool.”

“Huh,” said Sam looking back over to the two brothers. “I’ll have to check it out.”

“And check Gabe out some more.” Sniggered Dean.

“Dean…” Sam whined “I barely know the guy.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t get to know him.”

“Oh yeah? And how are you going, getting to know Castiel?”

“Hey! I’m working on it okay. I’m just taking my time with Cas.”

Sam laughed, “Sure you are. Are you ready?”

Dean scowled at him, “Do I have a choice?”

 “No, not really.”

“Well than, let’s get this show on the road.”

Sam clapped his brother on the shoulder, “You’ll do great man.”

Dean’s lips twitched into a nervous smile and he walked out on the stage at his cue.

He was greeted with a small applause, as there were only a few people in front of the band stand yet. Dean took a seat on the stool in the middle of the stage and adjusted his guitar and grabbed the mic closer. He was glad the light was bright enough that he couldn’t see much past the edge of the stage.

“Hey Everybody! Good to see you all. My name is Dean and I’m here to play you people a few songs. You might know the first song tonight, so feel free to get up and dance.

He settled into the stool more and played the opening cords to ‘Sweet Home Alabama’, humming a little with it. Someone in the small crowd whooped, making his grin and duck his head. He closed his eyes and let himself get lost in the music.

***

Castiel’s head shot up when he heard the opening sounds of Dean’s voice come over the microphone. He remembered how Dean had told him he played but he never expected him to performing tonight. He couldn’t drag his eyes from the beautiful man on stage. The way his body swayed slightly with the beat, his careful but sure way his fingers played the cords of the guitar. His lips curving around the lyrics and occasionally a smile would reach the corners of his mouth, crinkling his eyes, as he looked over to Jo or Donna who were back up singers. Castiel was enchanted.

He was only broken out by the spell when he banged his hips in to the table as he took an involuntary step forward. A few of the wine cups tipped over spilling their contents on the plastic table cloth.

“Damn it!” he muttered, causing Charlie to turn around.

“Are you alright Castiel?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” he snapped, earning raised eyebrows of Charlie.

“You’re clearly not, so how about you try that again.”

He tipped his head backwards to the dusk sky and sighed. “I’m sorry, that was rude.”

“Damn straight it was.”

“I accidently ran into the table,” he told her looking around for some paper towels to clean the mess up, and Charlie handed him a roll. “Thank you.”

As they cleaned the table together, Castiel’s eyes kept drifting back to the man on stage. He knew he was staring but he couldn’t help it. The song came to a close and Dean smiled to the crowd. He announced another song and started playing again.

“Don’t look to hard bro, you might set the man on fire.”

Castiel glared at his brother he was about to start arguing with his brother when Sam Winchester appeared in front of their table.

“Hello Gabriel.” Eyes only trained on the shorter man.

“Heya Sam!”

“You remembered!”

 Gabriel laughed, “Well yeah, it’s not every day that such a pretty face knocks over an entire display of oranges. You’re not going to knock my ice cream over are you?”

Sam ducked his head in embarrassment.  “I had hoped that wouldn’t leave such a lasting impression.”

“Not a chance buddy” he chuckled.

“Well I heard that you were into making ice-cream.”

“I sure am. Do you want to taste my samples?” He winked at the tall man who grinned, ducking his head, his dimples showing, at Gabriel’s innuendo.

“Sure that would be great.”

Gabe pulled out 5 sample cups and placed a tiny scoop in each one. Basil and blueberry, Earl grey lavender, Strawberry rose hibiscus, Peach, honey and lemon verbena, the last one a sorbet, Rosemary and pear.

“Personally the sorbet is my favorite. Quite refreshing for summer.” Comment Gabe putting the last cup in front of Sam and holding out a little wooden spoon. “Now, don’t eat it too fast, you’ll get a brain freeze.” He mock scolded.

Sam tried them all and couldn’t decide which he liked more, he was torn between the Peach and the strawberry. And he told Gabriel so, who put a scope of each into a cone for Sam. Sam and Gabriel started talking about the different flavors and his inspirations for them.  
Sam’s eyes were riveted on the shorter man as he spoke about the ice creams. The blonde man’s golden eyes lit up explaining the combinations and he used his hands a lot, their movements increasing the more excited he got. Unlike Castiel, he had less interested in what the plants meant and could influence and was more interesting in surprising people with flavors. He also wanted to locally source the other products that Castiel’s didn’t grow.  

Gabriel finally stop talking, slightly breathless, “Sorry, I went off on a tangent there.” he blushed slightly, looking at Sam. “I’m sure you didn’t need to hear all that.”

“No! No, it was really interesting. Besides I like hearing about people and their passions.” Reassured Sam.

“Oh do you now?” smirked Gabriel, eyeing Sam licking at his ice-cream cone “I have other passions too. Maybe I’ll tell you about them someday.” Raking his eyes over Sam’s tall frame.

Sam nearly choked, and started coughing slightly mortified. He was saved from replying when a small girl approached the table and went and stood by Gabriel, who lifted her up on to his hip, booping her nose,

“Hey Kiddo, having a good time?”

“Yes, I meet a boy called Jack.” She told him as she placed a red white and blue paper hat on his head, before turning to stare at Sam with big brown eyes.

“This is Sam. Dean’s brother. Sam this is Anna, my daughter.”

She didn’t say anything, just nuzzled into Gabe’s neck, going shy all of a sudden.

“Hey Anna. I like your unicorn.” He said gesturing to his own cheek. That made her blush to the roots of her red hair.

Gabe bounced her slightly. “Feeling shy hun?”

She nodded. Gabe gave Sam an apologetic smile. “Sorry Sam, she isn’t usually like this. I think she is just a bit over whelmed. She’s not used to so many people at once.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I totally understand. I got to get back to Dean anyway. I might see you guys later.”

“Bye Sam.”

Gabe watched him leave and sighed. He rocked Anna in his arms until she pulled away so she could look into his face.

“I do like Sam.”

“You do?”

She bobbed her head. “He has nice eyes. Like sunflowers.”

Gabe laughed, “Yeah he does. I can’t say if they are like sunflowers, I haven’t been looking that closely, but I had thought that his eyes were very warm.”

“Like the sun.” she said yawning and snuggling into his neck again.

“Yeah, like the sun.” agreed Gabe softly, as he continued to rock her gently in his arms.

***

Dean met Sam as he came off the stage after he sang four songs, leaving the next part of the show to Chuck and Ash, than he would be on again for his last song before Jo and Donna would round the night off with more upbeat songs.

“Where’s mine?” he asked eyeing Sam’s ice cream.

Sam pointed back to the stall. “Over there.”

Dean scowled at his brother. “That’s just rude.”

Sam stuffed the rest of the ice cream cone in his mouth and chewed, grinning at his brother. “You’ll live.”

Dean rolled his eyes as he put his guitar in its case and grabbed a water bottle taking a drink. 

Dean watched Chuck and Ash play some classic rock songs, which he hummed along too, while Sam fussed around with some of the cords and sound equipment.

“They are good.” Commented Dean when Sam rejoined him.

“They should be, seeing Chuck is the music teacher. So what are you going to do for your last song?”

Dean fidgeted, scuffing his feet “Well, I was ah, going to do a new one I’ve been working on.”

“Your own?”

“No, still a cover, just a new song.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at his brother, “And does this song have anything to do with Castiel?”

“So what if it does?” Dean’s head shot up, his eyes daring Sam to have a go at him.

Sam held up his hands, “Okay, sure, whatever, I just hope you know what you are doing.”

“So do I.” muttered Dean so quietly Sam almost missed it.

Chuck and Ash were finishing their songs and thanking crowd, promising they would be back out later. Dean picked up his guitar and greeted the two other men with claps on the shoulder, while Sam set up the stage again for his solo. When he came back he gave Dean the thumbs up that it was good to go. Dean took a deep breath.  This was more nerve wracking than his first performance and he hoped that Castiel would understand and not freak out. He shook himself and straightened his back and made his way out onto the stage and took his seat.

“Hi everyone, me again. Just another cover. Now I was going to do another song, but I decided fifteen minutes ago I would do this one instead. It’s not as polished as my other songs, I’ve only been working on it for a few weeks. Anyway, I have changed a few words, as I’m dedicating it to a very special person.” Dean looked out over the crowd and finds Castiel staring at him his head tilted. “And I think he knows who he is.”

He see Castiel’s lips part slightly as he sucks in a breath. He never drags away his eyes from Castiel as he strums the opening cords.

_**I've been waiting for you** _   
_**To come around and tell me the truth** _   
_**'Bout everything that you're going through** _   
_**My boy you've got nothing to lose** _

Everything melts away and feels like just the two of them like it always does. He pours everything into the words, remembering their kiss in the kitchen. Wanting Cas to know how he feels.

**_Cold nights and the Sunday mornings  
On your way and out of the grey_ **

_**I've got time, I've got love** _   
_**Got confidence you'll rise above** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _

_**Crowded town or silent bed** _   
_**Pick a place to rest your head** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _

He watches as the dark haired man move from out from behind his table and gravitating towards the stage. People seem to move out of his way as he approached. Almost like Moses parting the sea.

**_I've been dreaming 'bout us_ **   
**_Working hard and saving it up_ **   
**_We'll go and see the man on the moon_ **   
**_My boy we've got nothing to lose_ **

Castiel comes to a stop not far from the stage edge, looking up at him. His usual seriousness gone and his face was softened with wonder. The stage lights were spilling onto Cas’ face bathing him a soft glow. Unknown to Dean, but the stage lights were creating a halo of light around him as well.

As Dean starts the chorus again he leans forward towards the man on the ground. No one else listening matter. It was just one man singing a love song to another. He wanted Castiel know that he was all in. And would be there for him, through anything.

_**My guy, my guy** _   
_**It takes one hot second to turn it around** _   
_**It takes one hot second to turn it around** _

_**I've got time, I've got love** _   
_**Got confidence you'll rise above** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _

As the song built and he has to play faster Dean got off his seat and walked to the front of the stage, forgoing the microphone to only sing to the beautiful man in front of him.

_**Crowded town or silent bed** _   
_**Pick a place to rest your head and** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _

_**I've got time, I've got love** _   
_**Got confidence you'll rise above** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _   
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy** _

_**Crowded town or silent bed  
Pick a place to rest your head and ** _

He knelt in front of Castiel singing the last few lines to him.

  
_**Give me a minute to hold my guy**_  
 _ **Give me a minute to hold my guy**_

 

Dean was breathless as he finished the song and he grinned at the man in front of him who had a soft smile of awe on his face. He was looking at Dean like he was his whole world and it stunned Dean for a minute. He wanted desperately to reach out and kiss him but was unsure how Castiel would react in front of everyone.

They stayed like that staring at each other until the audience applause breaks out around them. Castiel looked startled that there were people around and them, and a blush creeped up his neck to his cheeks and he ducks his head to hide it. It was adorable.

“Cas….?” He whispered, getting the other man’s attention, who looked up at him but still hadn’t moved. Dean shuffled forward and slid off the stage, reaching out to Castiel. The dark haired man stepped away from him half a step.

“Dean, I don’t know what to say.” He whispered.

Dean took his hand gently.  “Hey it’s okay, I understand.”

Castiel stared at their entwined hands in confusion. “I – I’m sorry, I have to get back to the stall.”

Dean just nodded and let him go.

 

***

 

Castiel was hiding in the dark. He had packed the van with the crates of empty wine bottles and had helped Charlie and Gabe pack up the last of the ice-cream. The flavors had been a big hit, like Castiel knew they would be, and there had been no end of praise for Gabriel. Charlie couldn’t wait to add them to the menu at the ice cream parlor.  
He had been surprised when Dean had dedicate his last song to him. And it had be beautiful. But it had made him feel even more confused about the other man. He wanted to let himself go, be the person Dean believed he could be. Just let everything go, and be with him without worrying about the future. And when he was with Dean, he _did_ become that person. He forgot himself, he lost control. And so far Dean has been had been there to catch him, to absorb that extra energy and heat between them.  But people were unreliable, people changed, people let him down.

Castiel smiled as his brother and Anna caught his attention as they spread out a picnic blanket on the grass and the little red head tucked herself close to her father’s side, Gabe sweeping her hair out of her face. He was going to join them when he noticed a little way over Sam Winchester helping Bobby Singer and Ellen Harvelle. Jo came bouncing over, still on a high from her musical performance with Donna. Sam ruffled her hair and laughed at the filthy look she gave him before sitting on the blanket.  
Sam glanced over to where Gabe and Anna were seated, he turned back and spoke to the group, before both Ellen and Bobby waved him off.  
Sam approached his brother and niece, towering over them. They both tilted their heads up to see him, Gabe grinned up to the tall man, and Anna scrambled away from her Dad’s side, indicating Sam should take the vacant spot. Sam sat next to Gabe, his long legs spread out in front of him. The two men beamed at each other and Anna eyed them closely, a small smile on her lips. She sat in front of her dad and leant back on his legs. She reached out her hand to Sam, who hesitated for a second before taking her small hand in his large one. Gabe looked from their clasped hands back to Sam’s face, who gave him a soft smile.  
Castiel was trying to wrap his head around that Sam Winchester liked his brother, but he didn’t feel jealous of the possibility of his brother being happy. He was glad about it. His brother deserved that. After everything he suspected he had been through.

“Are you avoiding me?” Came a voice from behind him the darkness.

Castiel went ridged, he couldn’t turn around. He was embarrassed to. If he did, he would lose control of himself again. Like he did when Dean was singing, like he did that day in Dean’s kitchen. While his back was turned he could be in control. Be who he was before Gabriel had returned, before Dean had introduced himself.

“No, don’t be ridiculous. I just felt like being alone.”

“Did you like the song?”

Castiel smiled softly. “You have a very nice voice Dean. You sang all of them very well.”

He felt Dean shift and come and stand beside him, their shoulders brushing very slightly as they watched their brothers.

“That’s not what I asked.”

 Castiel could feel Dean’s eyes on the side of his face, and he fidgeted.

“I’ve never had anyone dedicate a song to me. It was beautiful. I loved it.”

“I gathered you haven’t had many people do nice things for you just because they can.”

Castiel turned his head towards Dean frowning.

“The lyrics, did you mean them?”

“They aren’t mine, but yes, I meant every one of them Cas.”

“Oh.” Says Castiel, not sure how to respond to that.

“Sam really likes Gabe.”

Castiel looked back to the trio on the picnic blanket. “I thought so…but wasn’t one hundred percent sure.”

“Yeah, he won’t admit it, but there is something about Gabe that pulls him in. It’s been a long time since anyone has had that effect on him.”

Cas nodded. He vaguely remembered the accident that had killed Jessica, it was a small town, and had effected a lot of people. Something like that doesn’t go without notice. At the time though, he hadn’t known Sam, just remembered his face from the newspaper article.

“Gabe…” Cas trailed off, not sure where he was going with the sentence.

“I know.” Said Dean simply. “He hasn’t told me anything, but I know that he hasn’t had an easy past. But I think maybe they are good for each other because of it.”

Castiel turned and looked into Dean’s face, tilting his head. “I don’t understand. How can they be so unafraid?”

Dean searched Cas’ face. The way his brow creased, over his dark blue eyes, his sharp cheek bones, his full lips, the mop of dark unruly hair.

“Is that why you afraid? You’re afraid of being hurt?”

“Yes, this,” he waved a hand between them, “I- I don’t- it’s too much. It can’t possibly last.”

Dean took his hand and held it gently between his two hands, “Are you afraid of me?”

Castiel’s frown deepened but he shook his head. “No, not you. Maybe the way are drawn to each other. I’ve never experienced anything like this. ”

“Neither have I Cas.” He said softly. He shifted closer, only a few inches of space between them Dean’s green eyes studied his face intently before lingering on his lips. “Can I kiss you?” he asked the dark haired man.

Castiel nodded slowly. Dean entwined their fingers together and lifted the other hand to cup Cas’s face, his thumb rubbing over the stubble along his jaw line. He dipped his head slowly, until his lips brushed against the other man’s. It was chaste and gentle. There was still the burn like before, it felt like cinnamon oil on his lips and Castiel’s gasped at the heat he could feel building between them. Cas traced Dean’s lower lip with his tongue and Dean opened his mouth to allow Cas entrance. Time didn’t seem to matter anymore, it was just the two of them. In sync, slowly combusting. They jumped apart when the first firework exploded over head in a shower of colored sparks. Both of them flushed, eyes bright, lips pink. Castiel leaned in again, stealing a couple more kisses whimpering a little when Dean pulled away. Dean chuckled at Castiel.

“I never know what I am going to get with you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Dean lifted their joined hand to his lips, kissing the back of Cas’ hand. “I never said it was a bad thing. I know you’re scared, hell so am I, but you should know I’m not going anywhere. I will wait for you, even if you don’t want me to. But this thing between us, it’s not just some fling, not to me. I’m already there Cas, I’m just waiting for you to decide what you want. ”

“That’s the problem, I don’t know what I want!” he pulled his hand away from Dean and turned away. “I can’t think when I’m with you. I feel like I’m losing myself when I’m with you. And when I’m not with you I’m still thinking about you!” He wrapped his arms around himself.  “I don’t like feeling so out of control!” he could feel the hot sting of tears on his eyes.

“Cas’, Cas!” he felt Dean’s hand lightly rest on his shoulders. “It’s okay. Shhh, stop panicking.” He gently turned Castiel until they were facing each other again. “I was serious you know. We can do this at your pace. Whatever you need. Okay?” he dipped his head, making sure to catch Castiel’s eyes. “Let’s try what do you want right this minute? Not in the future, not next week, not tomorrow, just right now.”

Castiel could see the reflection of the fireworks sparkling in Dean’s eyes. They conveyed sincerity. Dean had never done anything he didn’t want against his will. Maybe Gabriel was right, perhaps Dean was a good man. Perhaps he could take, whatever this thing between them, one day at a time. He worried his bottom lip, thinking.

“I want you to kiss me again.”

“What?”

“I want you to kiss me again Dean, please.”

Dean nodded slowly “Okay,”

He looked around than back at Castiel and tugged at his hand “Come with me.” And he led Castiel into the dark towards his car. When they reached the car, Castiel leaned against the back door of the car and reached for Dean’s hips and pulled him flush against his body. Dean came to him willingly pressing him back into the still slightly warm metal. He watched as Dean dipped his head slowly and captured his lips again. The tingling sensation started in his lips again and he inhaled in surprise, and Dean took the opportunity to tilt his head for a better angle, his tongue darting into Cas’ mouth. It created a friction between them that left Castiel breathless and wanting more. His hands flew from Dean’s hips, up his waist and under his shirt. He pulled the other man closer. And it still wasn’t enough. He could feel how smooth Dean’s skin was, but it was peppered tiny ridges that must be scars, and Castiel wondered how he got them. He moaned when he felt Dean’s hands go to his hair, carding through it and stroking at the base of his neck. He could feel the hard ridge of Dean’s cock pressed against his hip in his jeans as Dean slotted his thigh between Castiel’s legs, giving him something to grind on. He wrapped his leg around Dean’s hip and whined, it was so hard to concentrate with Dean licking into his mouth.

Dean ran his hands down from Castiel’s shoulder over his ribs, to his hip and over his arse and down his thigh and back up before wrapping his arms around Castiel’s lean waist and lifting, using the car to pin the blue eyes man in the air. Castiel locked his legs around Dean’s waist and his arms around his shoulders. Dean start kissing along his jaw, letting his teeth graze over the stubble. He licked down the column of Cas’ neck and when he reached the junction between his neck and shoulder he sucked a mark, soothing it with his tongue. Which caused Cas to cry out and arch his back from the car. Dean’s hands were instantly untucking his shirt from his pants than running down the shape of his spine. Castiel took Dean’s face in his hands and stared into his green eyes, his thumbs brushing over his cheek bones. They were both breathless.

“Cas?” Dean his voice low and rough. “You okay?”

“Mmm” he hums, unsure if he could speak, before bending down and brushing his lips to Dean’s, feeling the texture of them together.

“Do you want to stop?”

Castiel shook his head, “No,” he breathed.

Dean blindly fumbled with the car handle, trying to find it and hold the other man aloft. Castiel’s hand joined his and together they found the door handle.

The sound of a loud wolf whistle stopped them in their tracks.

Castiel unwrapped his legs from Dean and slid to the ground. He could feel his face heating up from being caught in such a vulnerable and compromising position. Dean’s arm was still around his waist. He took a deep breath a peaked over Dean’s shoulder and saw a smirking Gabriel with a sleeping Anna in his arms and Sam looking embarrassed with his shoulders hunched and hands his pockets but a smile playing around his lips.

“Sorry to interrupt love birds, but the fireworks are over. Not that either of you would have noticed.”

Castiel felt Dean’s arm tighten slightly around his body and he looked back to him.

Castiel’s voice is shaky when he speaks.

“I- I have to go. Take Gabe and Anna home.” He whispered.

Dean just nods and reluctantly removes his arm, and Castiel is suddenly aware how cold his feels without him, and he desperately wants to return to him. He moves away towards his brother, adjusting his shirt.

“Not a word.” He growls at Gabe who was grinning ear to ear, as he stomped towards his van.

“I wasn’t going to say anything. Much.” His brother replied, but his grin suggested otherwise. “See you later Sam!” he called as he followed the other man into the dark. “Dean.” He nods at the man slumped against the car.

Sam gives him a smile and lifts his hand in farewell. He walks over and rests against the impala with Dean.

“So getting to know Cas huh?”

Dean ran a hand over his mouth and pushed off the car and made his way around to the driver’s side.

“You.” He pointed at his brother over the top of the car “Get in the car.”

Sam just laughed and slid into the passenger seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in love with "My girl" by George Ezra. I don't take any credit for it. I'm literally tone deaf when it comes to music. I sing out of tune and I can play scales and that is the extent of my knowledge in music. I do highly recommend checking out Jensen singing. And though he doesn't sing this song specifically, It is truly beautiful to listen to. 
> 
> Until next time everyone!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this got away from me and ended up being a more Gabe and Sam central chapter. Cas and Dean were going to feature in it but when it got to 20 pages I decided it was best to split the chapter. I promise they will be more in it next chapter :) Be warned this does have a domestic violence scene that involves choking, if that is a trigger, please take care  
> I'm my own beta, so I'm sorry for editing mistakes.

**Chapter 11**

It was the day after the fourth of July festival and Gabriel had just arrived home from work. Though the ice cream parlor wasn’t open on a Sunday, Charlie and Gabriel had gotten together to put together the new display of his original flavors ready for Monday.  
He was tired, and his feet ached from standing all day monitoring the ice cream machines and he smelt of sugar and herbs, but he loved every second of it. It had been a long time since he had worked in a job that he had such passion for. And he had never had a project that he could work on and watch it bloom into fruition.  
As he dropped his keys in the bowl by the door, he could hear humming coming from the kitchen. He went quietly to the kitchen door and watched Castiel as he worked.

His brother was practically floating around the kitchen as he stirred the chocolate icing he was working on and he was humming the song Dean had sung to him last night. Gabriel smiled, as he walked into the kitchen,

“Hey Cassie!”

“Argh!” Castiel jumped in shock, dropping the bowl.

Gabriel lunged forward and caught it before it hit the floor, but the wooden spoon flipped out of the bowl, splattering the pristine white kitchen with the brown icing. Castiel had his hand on his chest, breathing quickly.

“Why would you do that?!” he snapped at his brother.

Gabriel put the bowl back on the bench, “It’s not my fault you’re off with the pixies just because you kissed Dean Winchester last night.”

Castiel open and closed his mouth glaring at him, before bending and picking up the spoon and chucking it into the sink. He grabbed a cloth and started wiping up the chocolate mess. Gabriel picked up a towel and crouched near his brother, as he helped to clean up the mess.

“I’m sorry I startled you. I honestly thought you would have heard me.”

Castiel shrugged. “It’s not your fault. You’re right, I am distracted. And it is because of Dean.”

He touched Castiel’s shoulder, “You looked like you were enjoying the distraction last night.” He said gently, “It _was_ consensual wasn’t it?”

Castiel frowned at the question, “Yes of course it was.”

They finished cleaning up the mess and stood up, Castiel taking the cloth from Gabe and heading towards the laundry with them, before returning to organize his bench top, and continued with his baking.

Gabriel watched his brother finish off the chocolate icing and pull four trays of chocolate cupcakes towards him.

“So, what are you making?”

“Cupcakes for Jesse Turner’s party tomorrow. It’s pirate themed, so, they wanted a treasure inside each cupcake. I have some candied Angelica that I will use as a ‘x marks the spot’ and some flags with a riddle on each one with a hint for what’s inside each one. I’ll be dropping them off to the Turner’s a bit later.” He said as he focused on spooning the icing into a piping bag.

“Do you need any help?”

Castiel looked up and smiled at his brother. “No, it’s okay. I’ve got this covered.”

Gabriel went to the fridge and took out a bottle water and took a sip as he watched Castiel carefully pipe icing onto each cake. He went to leave the kitchen to find Anna as he reached the door Castiel spoke up.

“You were right.” Castiel said not looking up from his work.

“I usually am, but what was it this time?”

“Dean is a good man.”

“Ah. And what are you going to do about the thing between the two of you?”

Castiel frowned, “I, don’t know. But for the first time in my life I want to take a risk and find out.”

Gabriel smiled at his brother. “I’m proud of you Cas. And for what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s a mistake, this thing with Dean.”

Castiel looked down, a soft smile was playing on his lips making his the lines around his eyes stand out more. He seemed to glow with happiness.

After a while Gabriel asked “Where’s Anna?”

“In the garden. Where else? She raced out there when a plane went over head. She seems to have a thing for airplanes at the moment.”

Gabriel cocked an eyebrow, “Airplanes? That’s new.”

Castiel shrugged, “She won’t tell me why she does it. I’m sure it’s nothing.” He added seeing Gabriel’s worried face.

“Yeah, I’m sure it is. She just has had to adjust a lot lately.”

Castiel took a deep breath. “Gabe, I want you to know that, you can talk to me, about anything. I know that you have a, history, that you might find difficult to talk about, but I want you to know that you’re not alone. Not anymore.”

“Cas, I’m fine. It’s in the past. And time heals all wounds right? Anna and I just need time.”

Castiel spread his hands in front of him. “The offer is always there.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it. Look, I’m going to take Anna to see the school she is going to go to. So I’ll see you a bit later.” And he turned on his heels and left as quickly as he could.

***

Anna was skipping beside her Dad and swinging their joined hands. She was wearing the brooch Rowena had given her last night. Anna was such a caring child, Gabriel wasn’t sure if she was wearing it because she liked it and wanted to or so she wouldn’t hurt Rowena’s feelings.

“You know Rowena wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t wear the brooch, if you didn’t want to.” He told her gently.

She looked up at him in shock.

“But I might need it one day!” she told him.

She said it with such conviction, Gabe could only open and close his mouth, “Well, yeah you might, but, if you don’t want to wear it, that’s okay too.”

“I know.”

“Okay. Good.”

They continued walking in silence until Anna piped up again.

“Daddy?”

“Mmm?”

“Is Uncle Cas mad about something?”

“No, why do you ask?”

The girl sighed, “He put the cutlery in the wrong order in the draw.”

Gabe laughed and looked down at his daughter who was frowning at the ground. She was gently touching the brooch Rowena had given her last night that was pinned to the front of her shirt.

“No Sweetie, he isn’t mad, he finally admitted he is in love. And sometimes that can be a bit overwhelming and a bit scary, especially the first time it happens. Kinda like the way you feel when you try swimming for the first time. But if you have someone who can help you, you will be okay.

Anna nodded solemnly. “Is he is love with Dean?”

“Yes.”

“I like Dean.”

“I know. You’ve said that before.”

She shrugged and picked a blade of grass and tried to use it as a whistle. It was a trick the boy she met yesterday, Jack, had showed her and she was determined to master it.

“Will you fall in love again?” she asked.

“Me?”

She nodded.

“Ah…maybe.”

“I’ve already fallen in love.” She informed her father.

Gabe paused in shock, “Oh, you have, have you?”

“Yes, with the house and the garden.”

Gabe chuckled, and continued walking, glad he had dodged that bullet. “Oh you are a Novak, aren’t you?” he ruffled her hair.

They carried on, enjoying the afternoon sun as it warmed their shoulders and the tops of their heads. The pair finally stopped in front of collection of weatherboard buildings painted pale pink, a jungle gym off to the side of a large field of grass.

“Well, this is it.” Gabe said as he leaned on the fence, and Anna climbed up next to him. “Both me and your Uncle Cas went here. Your grandma would walk us every day. We had a lot of fun here.”

Anna looked at the buildings. She already knew she would be in the first building, and which room she would be in. She would walk up the four steps on the right hand side, and go through a pair of glass doors and over the hall to the door straight in front of her. Her desk would be by the window and Jack would be next to her on her left. The classroom would smell like craft paper, paint and carpet cleaner. She didn’t know how she knew this, she just did.

“It will be good. It’s the right place.”

“Are you excited?”

“Yes, Jack will be in my class.”

“Jack? The boy you met yesterday?”

“Mmm hmm.”

He shifted closer to his daughter, bumping shoulders, “I’m glad you are making friends.”

Anna looked at the side of her dad’s face. She could see the slight scar on his bottom lip. She was too young to remember when he got it, but as she grew up she worked out that it had been caused by Luke. The sun caught the gold in his long curls and highlighted his honey colored eyes as he looked at the school. The dark shadows had left his eyes but sometimes he still looked fearful. Sometimes his hands would shake when he tucked her in at night and his eyes would look sad like he was trying not to cry.  
She didn’t want her dad feeling like that anymore. She wanted him to feel safe; like she felt when she was in the garden or when she was baking with Uncle Cas.

“You could make friends too.” She whispered.

He turned to her, a tight smile on his lips, before he poked her side, tickling her. “You don’t need to worry about me sweetie. I’m okay.”

She squirmed away, giggling, before sliding off the fence and putting her arms around her dad and hugging him when Luke’s cologne floated around them on the breeze. It made her feel scared and small; not for her, but for her dad. She was too small to protect him.

Gabriel’s arms tightened around her as he smelt Luke’s cologne too.

“Want to go get junk food? I’m feeling Cheetos. Although, I could go a lollypop.” He said bright and cheery, trying to cover up his fear.

Anna nodded, “Okay.” And took his hand again. She liked Cheetos better than Luke anyway.

***

When they got to the grocery store Anna insisted they needed a shopping cart so she could ride on the front.

“Just so we’re clear, we are not filling this with junk food.” Gabe reminded his daughter, who grinned cheekily at her dad. They wheeled around the aisles debating the pros and cons of certain junk food.

They paused in the potato chip aisle looking at their choices.

Gabriel added a bag of Cheetos to the cart while Anna took her time, before she decided on a bag of chicken flavored potato chips. “

“Can I have soda?” she begged putting on puppy eyes.

“Hmm,” Gabe regarded her. He didn’t usually let her have soda. She didn’t seem to have inherited his sweet tooth but he also didn’t want to encourage it too much.  
“Okay. Just this once.” He jerked his head to the side,  “Go and pick a bottle, I’ll be in the chocolate aisle. Come straight back okay?”

She nodded eagerly and jumped off the cart and dashed around the corner. Gabriel took his time checking out the different sweets before adding a bag of lolly pops to the cart. He rounded the corner to see Anna talking to a man crouched down in front of her. His heart stopped for a second. How many times had he told her not to talk to strangers?

“Anna?” he called.

Her eyes shot up to his and she smiled. The man turned too, and Gabe let out a sigh.

“Sam? What are you doing here?” He went to Anna’s side and took her hand, squeezing it and giving her a look that told her that they would be talking about her speaking to people without him.

Sam stood up quickly, holding his basket in front of him, which was filled with different types of salads. “Hey Gabe! I’m was just grabbing some groceries. Before the fourth of July, Rowena brought out some barbecuing chip out to Bobby’s place and Dean decided that today would be the day to use them. We have built a bon-fire out in the yard as well to sit around.” He said in a rush.

Gabriel eyed the basket, “I’m no expect but I’m pretty sure you can’t barbecue Kale. I mean Kale chips are pretty good but maybe not on the barbecue.”

Sam laughed, “No, Dean wanted to only serve meat but I thought it was best if there was at least a choice to add something healthy to the plate. And Dean wanted corn on the cob to bake as well.”

“Well Anna and I were on junk food run, so we’re with Dean this one. Sorry.”

“Are you two doing anything? Would you like to come out to Bobby’s for the evening? It will just be us and Bobby. So not too many people. It won’t be as overwhelming as last night.”

Anna was watching the two men talking in front of her, and she finally saw it. How her dad’s breathe slowed to match Sam’s, how their pulses in their throat came to beat at the same time. How they mirrored each other’s movements. She tugged on Gabriel’s arm until he leaned down to her level so she could whisper in his ear. “Can we please go?”

“Ah…I dunno. Since when do you like barbecues?”

“I’ve never been to one.”

Gabriel frowned. It was true, if Luke had ever hosted a get together he would book out a restaurant or bar and Anna would stay with a sitter. Anna was looking hopefully at him.

He rolled his eyes playfully at his daughter, “Oh, fine!” he hissed.

“Yay!” she bounced with excitement turning to the tall man. “We can come Sam!” and she threw herself at him. Sam dropped his basket and caught her in his arms, laughing awkwardly at the sudden show of affection from the girl.

“Ah,” he patted her back. “That’s great news!”

“Can we toast marshmallows or make s’mores?”

Sam looked over to Gabriel for permission, who was looking at his daughter like she had lost her mind.

“Gabe?”

“Huh? What?”

“Can Anna have marshmallows or s’mores?”

Gabe shook his head, “Ah yeah, sure. We can get them. Come on Anna.”

Sam put her back on the ground and she walked to her dad.

“We didn’t bring a car…” started Gabe to Sam.

“That’s okay. I’ve got my pick up. We will all fit.” He picked up his basket, “I’ll just go pay for these and pull up out the front and we can meet there.”

Gabe waved, “Okie dokie, see you in a bit.” The father and daughter watched Sam walk away, before Gabe turned to Anna.

“And what was that little miss? Since when do you give hugs to just anyone.”

“I like Sam.”

“Oh really? I would never have guessed.”

“And, and don’t you see? Sam _likes_ you, like Dean likes Uncle Cas.”

Gabriel frowned in confusion at his daughter. “Ah, maybe not quite like that, he is my friend. I thought you wanted me to have friends?”

Anna nodded her head, “I do. But Sam is different.”

“Anna, honey, I don’t think a relationship right now would be a good idea. And I don’t want to hear any more about it, okay?” He saw his daughters face fall and tears fill her brown eyes. He stopped and got down to her level and took her hands, she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Hey, look,” he tilted her chin until she looked at him, “I know you are just looking out for me, and I really do appreciate it. But you don’t have to okay? I know you used to when we were with Luke, but you don’t have to here. I’m not ready to be with anyone else, and I might not be ever. And that’s alright too. It’s more important that we are safe as we get on with our lives yeah?”

Anna nodded again her hair falling into her face as she used it as a curtain to hide behind. Gabriel brushed it behind her ear.

“And do you want to tell me what’s up with the sudden obsession with planes?”

Anna shrugged and climbed back on the front of the shopping cart, “I don’t know how to explain it yet.” She said quietly. She really didn’t. All she knew things here wouldn’t be perfect until she could recreate her dream exactly.

Gabriel peered at his daughter who wasn’t looking at him, and fiddling with her brooch again. He took a deep breath, “It’s okay Sweetie. You can tell me when you are ready.”

She nodded.

“Do you still want to go to the barbecue?” he asked her.

“Yeah I do. It still sounds like fun.”

“Okay than.”

They grabbed what else they needed and went to the check out, paying quickly they collected their bags and met Sam in a red pick-up truck. Sam jumped out and helped them with their bags loading them in the back seat. He lifted Anna into the cab, who slid across the bench seat and buckled her seat belt. Gabriel climbed in next to her and Sam got behind the wheel.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Born ready Sammy.” Gabe told him smiling at the other man.

Sam grinned as he started the truck, “Good to know.”

***

Dusk was starting to fall by the time they reached the salvage yard and they could see the yellow glow of the bon-fire from the drive and the silhouette of Dean near it. Anna had perked up more as they drove and by the time they had reached their destination was bouncing with excitement between the two men.

Dean raised a hand to Sam as he hopped out of the truck cab, “Heya Sammy!” he greeted “Oi! What have I told you about picking up strays?”  He joked as he saw Gabe lifting his daughter out of the cab.

“Well, are we allowed to stay if these strays brought supplies?” quipped Gabe.

“Depends, what did you bring?”

“Stuff for S’mores!” announced Anna holding up a bag of marshmallows.

Dean stroked his chin considering the offer before nodding. “Seems fair.

Anna grinned as Dean came over and collected a couple of bags off Sam, peering them into them and making a face. “Rabbit food? Really? I thought you said you were getting more beer?”

“I got that too. Don’t worry.” Sam told him, holding up a pack of beer.

They all trailed into the house heading to the kitchen, piling the bags onto the counter.

“Where is Bobby?” Asked Sam.

“In charge of the barbecue while I got the fire going. The meat in the smoker should almost be done too.” Replied Dean.

“Come on you two, I’ll introduce you to Bobby.”

“Can I help Dean?” asked Anna.

“Ah, sure.” Agreed Sam, “Gabe?”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Anna in suspicion, who wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Should be okay. Help Dean sweetie.” Anna went a pulled a chair to the counter to help Dean prep the corn cobs.

Sam lead Gabe through the house down a hall to a back door that opened to an area someone had dedicated to an outdoor entertaining area. The ground had been paved in a red brick and two sides had been done in with shade cloth. There was a flood light illuminating the space from one corner and fairy-lights trailing around the edge. An old wooden table and chairs was set up in the center of the space off to one of the sides that wasn’t done in was a barbecue and a smoker. Bobby was sitting in his wheel chair wielding the tongs as he moved things around the grill.

Gabriel stopped, making Sam come to a stop too, “I didn’t know he was in a wheel chair now.” whispered Gabe.

“You know Bobby?”

“I did. A long time ago, when I was a kid. Sometimes, after my mum left, there were days Castiel and my grandmother would have Karen babysit us. She was like a mother to me or well us. And Bobby, well, he taught us to ride bikes and throw a football, either though neither us were sporty. They would come to our school plays and spelling bees.” He frowned at his memories. “I think I remember you and Dean at Karen’s funeral.”

Sam’s brow furrowed as he thought back. “Yeah, I think you might be right. We did come back. Dean brought us. I don’t remember Castiel though.”

“No, he didn’t go.”

“How come?”

Gabriel looked uncomfortable. “It’s a long story, and it’s not really mine to share.”

Sam nodded, “Fair enough.”

“When did…?” Gabriel trailed off, looking to Bobby in the chair again.

“About three years ago. Hunting accident.”

Gabriel chewed his lip. “I should have stayed in touch.”

Sam touched his shoulder briefly, giving the shorter man a reassuring smile. “Well, you can catch up now.”

“I can hear you, you know.” Came a gruff voice, making both man jump in surprise. “Are you going to come out and say hello or stand in the shadows gossiping?”

Opening the screen door to let Gabriel through first Sam laughed, “Okay, okay calm down old man.” He stopped by Bobby as he turned his wheel chair around and eyed the two young men in front of him.

“Long time no see Gabriel.”

“Hello Bobby.”

“It’s good to see you again.”

“And you.”

There was an awkward silence. “I’m sorry I never called, or visited.”

Bobby waved his hands, dismissing his apology, “It’s okay. You never really fitted in here when you were younger. You needed to get out with a clean break. But I’m glad that you are back now.”

“So am I.”

The screen door banged open and Dean and Anna came out. In one hand, Dean carried a plate loaded with prepared corn cobs, in the other a case of beer, which he sat on the table before he started to load the grill with the corn, Anna was carrying a new set of tongs, that she handed to Dean before she came and stood behind Gabriel’s legs peering out at Bobby. Gabriel drew her out.

“Bobby, this is my daughter Anna. Anna this is Bobby.” The girl waved a small hand at Bobby.

“Hello.”

Bobby waved back. “Hello Anna.”

Dean pulled a beer from the case, and popped the lid handing it to Bobby, than another for Sam, who took it with a quite thanks. “Gabe?” Dean held out a third bottle to Gabriel.

“Ah sure,” and he took the offered bottle.

“Sam, Gabe do you guys want to make some salads seeing you bought stuff for it.”

Sam nodded. “Sure, no problem.”

Gabriel leaned down towards his daughter, “Do you want to help us or stay out here?”

She chewed her lip thoughtfully, “I’ll help you. I like cooking.”

“Okay than.”

“If you look in the fridge Ellen dropped off some potato salad earlier that can come out too.” Bobby told them as they headed towards the house.

“No worries, we can put it in a bowl.” Replied Sam.

When they got back into the house, Sam started pulling out an assortment of miss matched bowls, some glass, some enamel. Anna climbed back up on to her chair by the bench and started to order the salad ingredients into the order they needed to be prepared in by instinct.

“If you rummage in that draw by the sink, you should find some peeling knives Gabe.” Pointed Sam.

Opening the draw, he found the knives and placed them on the bench, and they started to work on preparing the ingredients. Gabriel washing the salad vegetables, Sam chopping them and Anna adding them all to the large bowl in front of her.

“So having fun working with Charlie and Jo?” asked Sam.

Gabriel laughed, “Oh yeah, they are great. I was in at work today. Charlie want to get a head start on making the new flavors seeing they were so popular last night. I’ve never met anyone with as much energy as Charlie.”

“You’re ice cream creations are amazing Gabe, I can see why she is excited. You should be proud of them.”

The blonde man blushed at the compliment.

“Thanks Sam, it means a lot. I’m just glad she gave me the opportunity to even work there, let alone having her featuring my ideas. It’s been a long time since I was really happy in a job.”

“Oh yeah? What have you done before?”

Gabriel shrugged, “Oh you know, this and that. Mostly bar work, sometimes as a waiter, sometimes in bakeries. Where ever I could get work really.”

“So you moved around a lot?”

“Ah, for a while.” He hedged fidgeting uncomfortably. “What about you Sam? I would have remembered you and Dean growing up here. Where did you grow up?”

“I was born here, so was Dean, but our Mom died in a house fire when I was six months old and Dean was four, and our Dad took as away. He couldn’t bear to stay here. We moved around a lot, for his work, but mostly because he was an alcoholic and couldn’t hold down a job in any one town for very long.”

“When did you move away?”

“The fire was in November 1983, and we moved not long after, maybe early December. But I don’t really remember.”

“Well that explains it. Our mother arrived back here in the March the year after. And I was born not long after.”

Sam looked down at him. “Huh, just think if things had been different we would have grew up together. Probably would have been in the same classes at school.”

“Life would have been completely different.” Agreed Gabriel quietly as he emptied the sink. If he had met Sam growing up he may have never left in the first place. They might have been friends, he might have fell in love with a good man and not someone like Luke. But then he wouldn’t have had Anna, or loved Kali and those were two things he would never regret. He felt a large hand touch his shoulder gently drawing him out of his musings.

“You okay Gabe?”

“Yeah, Fine. Just thinking about the past. If life would have been different, I wouldn’t have Anna.” he said as his daughter beamed at him.

Sam smiled at the two of them. “Yeah, wouldn’t want to change that for the world.”

Gabe shook his head. “Certainly not.”

“I think the salad is mixed.” Anna announced. Sam looked at the bowl and complimented her tossing giving her a high five for her good work. He went to the fridge and found Ellen’s potato salad and added it to it’s own bowl.

“Hey Anna, in the dresser over there,” Sam nodded his head over to a big dark cupboard “there is some place mats. We should set the table.”

“These ones?” Anna asked, pulling out multi colored bamboo place mats.

“That’s them. Pull them out and if you could go put them on the table outside that would be great.”

Anna loaded up her arms and headed out, “Need any help Sweetie?” her dad asked.

“No, I’m good.” She said confidently.

“Okay then.”

Sam and Gabe watched her go. “Well I guess we need cutlery as well.” Said Gabriel, looking in the draw he had been in previously. Once Sam and Gabriel had everything else they needed, including extra plates, serving platters, and the salads, they followed after Anna.  
Bobby was helping her lay the mats and Dean had just opened the grill and smoker, letting a plume of smoke fill the area, making everyone cough and splutter.

“You idjit. You could have wait until we weren’t here.”

“Sorry Bobby, at least the mosquito won’t bother us now.”

“Yeah but we’ll be dead from smoke inhalation.” Argued Sam.

Dean waved his tongs at his brother, “Just for that Sam, you can’t have any of this brisket I’ve been smoking for hours.”

Sam gasped in mock horror, knowing full well his brother was too proud of his work not to share. Anna giggled at his expression.

Gabriel and Sam sat the salad bowls on the table and set the plates on the mats. Anna picked up the knives and forks and placed them in their spots.

“Gabriel can you hand me a platter?” asked Dean.

He passed Dean a plate, who loaded it with the corn, he then passed a second plate, which Dean added barbequed chicken skewers. Gabriel set the two platters down before handing the third and final plate which would hold the smoked brisket.

“Looks good Dean. I hope it tastes as good as it smells.”

Dean raised his eyebrows, “Are you doubting my mad cooking skills?”

He smirked, “Maybe.”

Narrowing his eyes at the other man, as he switched off the grill and smoker. “Watch it or I’ll not share with you either.”

Gabriel just laughed and put the last plate on the table.

“What are we missing?” he asked out loud.

“Glasses and ketchup.” Replied Anna.

Sam held up a hand “Right yeah. I’ll get them.”

Everyone got settled around the table, Anna next to Gabriel who was sitting on her knees on the seat to be high, “Do you want a pillow?” he father asked her.

She shook her head, “No, I’m good.”

Bobby was across from them, his wheelchair pulled up close to the table fitting under it. And Dean on his left. Sam came back carrying a tray with glasses, Anna’s bottle of soda, a jug of water and an assortment of condiments for both the salads and the meat. He passed a glass to everyone and took a seat on Gabriel’s other side.

“Alright everyone dig in!” Dean told them, as he started to shred the brisket, and load everyone’s plates with some of the meat. Bowls of salad were passed and piles of potatoes added to plates, corn cobs smothered in butter.

The food was unbelievable and they all praised Dean’s smoked brisket.

Dean ducked his head  at the praise, “Ah well, without Rowena’s gift it wouldn’t have been happening.”

The conversation flowed easily, and they all laughed together.    
Gabriel’s cheeks hurt from smiling, it had been a long time since he had felt he could be happy, and show it, without the possibility of violence. He had gotten very good at putting on front. When Luke had hosted parties, there was never an option of saying no. He expected to have Gabriel on his arm and he had always dictated what Gabriel had to wear, and how to act at these functions.  
Gabriel closed his eyes remembering the last time he had went out with Luke before he had left for Lawrence.

 _He had been feeling unwell, and was in bed with a headache. Luke had come home and had wanted to know why he wasn’t ready. Gabriel had tried to explain he wasn’t able to go and the tall blonde man had stared at Gabriel while he stood at the dresser. He pulled out a set of clothes and threw them at him. “You’ll be ready in ten minutes.” He told Gabriel. Gabriel groaned and pulled on the clothes. The get together was held in a local bar where the music was pumping. It smelt like stale beer and cigarette smoke and Gabriel dry heaved. Luke took him under the arm and led him away from the group and whispered in his ear. “Don’t embarrass me.” It was a threat. Gabriel nodded briefly._  
_Luke ordered them drinks, and Gabriel couldn’t refuse so he sipped his drink as best he could, but combined with his headache his head was feeling much fogger quicker than usual. He very much wanted to go home. But he had to keep up appearances; so he smiled in the right places, cracked jokes the best he could with Luke’s friends. He had thought he was doing well._  
_He went to the bar to get some water when the bar tender, a pretty little brunette whose name was Hannah, started talking to him. She was just being friendly, making sure he was okay as she got him his water, Gabe had asked her how her night had been, it wasn’t even flirting. When Gabe got back to the group, Luke slung an arm around his shoulders pulling him close._

_“So why was she talking to you?”_

_“She was just getting me my drink.”_

_“Seemed a bit too friendly to me. On both sides.” His hand tightened on Gabriel’s shoulder uncomfortably and Gabriel went very still. “No Luke. It was nothing.” He tried to reassure him._

_“If you say so.” And he pulled away from Gabriel, which should have been a relief, but he knew he hadn’t heard the end of this._

_It wasn’t until they got home Gabriel found out how mad Luke actual was. Luke was pretty drunk, as Gabriel helped him through the door he stumbled and Gabe’s legs buckled under the weight and they both fell into the wall. Before Gabriel could right them Luke had slammed him against the wall, his hand wrapped around his throat, choking him. “Luke! Stop!” he chocked out, his fingers digging into the other man’s arm._

_Luke breathed in his face, hot and smelling of beer. “You gonna leave me Gabe? Talking up bar whores now?”_

_Gabe gasped his vision starting to turn hazy around the edges, “No! P-please. Not-Leaving.” He felt the pressure of Luke’s hand lessen when he removed it. He took a gulp of air, only to have it forced out of his body again, as Luke land a punch to his stomach. He doubled over in agony only for Luke to hit him again. He felt his ribs give and cracking sound. He sunk to the floor and curled into a ball._

_“Maybe, next time, you won’t be so inclined to flirt with anyone else.” Spat Luke and stepped over Gabe’s prone body and disappeared into the house._

_Gabe stayed on the floor, and tried to breath. In through his nose out through his mouth.  He was pretty sure his ribs at the very least cracked, and he would have some terrible bruising on his throat and chest. When he finally thought he could move he got to his feet and made his way to Anna’s room. The sitter had put her to bed and had left before they got home. He sat on the edge of her bed and stroked her face. He eyes flickered open, “Daddy?”_

_“Hey Baby.” He whispered._

_“You okay?”_

_He gave her a tight smile. “I am now. Go back to sleep.”_

_She rolled over and closed her eyes. Gabe watched her breathing. He knew he had to get out. Get away from Luke, but after the last time he tried to leave he was terrified. Luke would kill him if he caught them again, but he would kill him eventually if he stayed. He had to think about Anna. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, “I love you kiddo.” He whispered and he finally got up and went to bed._

Gabriel didn’t realise he had stopped eating and that his hands were shaking, causing his knife and fork to rattle against his plate. He felt like he was choking and he forced himself to cough to make sure he wasn’t.

“Whoa! You okay man?” asked Sam, as he patted his back between his shoulder blades. He didn’t mean to, but Gabriel flinched away from his touch.

“Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“It’s fine Sam.” He snapped at him. Gabe noticed everyone was looking at him, he turned back to Sam who had his head tilted looking confused at his reaction. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking and you caught me by surprise.”

“It’s alright. Do you need anything?”

Gabe shook his head and looked back at his plate. He was grateful when Dean started the conversation again. He caught Sam looking at him from the corner of his eye and he turned to him.

“I really am I alright Sam. I’m sorry for the overreaction.” He could feel the heat from Sam’s leg as it pressed gently against his under the table, and he bumped his shoulder against the taller man’s. “Stop worrying.”

“You clearly don’t know me very well. That’s all I do about people I care about.” Sam replied softly. Looking him straight in the eyes.

Gabriel swallowed loudly and felt his cheeks heat up, he had to look away from Sam’s intense stare.

For the rest of the night whenever he felt uneasy, he felt Sam press against his side. Their shoulders would brush, or their legs, and very occasionally their arms as they rested next to each other on the table. It was comforting and grounding.

They all finished their dinner, and helped tidy away the left overs and dirty plates, before taking seats around the bon fire, sipping their beers in the dark.

***

Gabe was watching Anna as she sat next to Dean, watching intently as he showed her how to toast marshmallows perfectly to get that perfect golden crust on the outside with a gooey center. Her red hair shone brightly in the orange glow of the fire and her little hands clasped around the stick she was using to cook her marshmallow. She looked so happy. Happier than he had seen her in a long time.

“Hey,” Sam nudged his knee with his own getting his attention. “Want to go for a walk?” asked Sam quietly.

Gabe looked back over to Anna where Dean was blowing out the marshmallow she had caught on fire and Anna was laughing hysterically.

“She’ll be okay. I promise. Dean and Bobby won’t let anything happen to her.”

Gabe turned back to Sam who was leaning towards him. “Okay, let’s go for a walk.”

They walked side by side, through the car bodies cradling their bottles of beer. The night sky was clear and vast, filled with pin pricks of silver light and Gabe sighed.

“It’s so beautiful. You never really saw the stars in Seattle.”

“Is that where you were living before moving back here?” asked Sam as he leaned against a car body taking a sip of his beer.

“Yeah, it’s where Anna was born.”

“What happened between you and her mom?”

Gabe looked down and scuffed at the dirt under his boot, looking sad.

“You don’t have to tell me Gabe, if you don’t want to.”

“It’s okay.” Gabe took a deep breath. “Her name was Kali, and she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. She was a total spitfire, and we argued a lot, but we always made it work. I loved her so much.”

 He took a swig of his drink and leaned next to Sam. “Anna wasn’t planned. She was a complete surprise, for both of us. Kali didn’t want to get married, even though I offered, she was happy to raise our child with me.”

He started to pick at the label of his bottle. “The pregnancy was normal. Almost perfect. Kali was very into having a peaceful pregnancy. She kept up her yoga and her job as a real estate agent right up until her maternity leave.”  
Gabe’s voice started to shake. “But, nothing could prepare her for the birth. She was in labor for days. When she finally gave birth to Anna, I knew something was wrong almost immediately, because she went really white. She had started hemorrhaging. And the doctors tried to save her, b-but it was too late.”

Tears started to run quietly down his face. “She didn’t even get to hold Anna.” he choked out, as he covered his eyes, as he started to cry silently.

He felt an arm snake around his shoulders and pull him into a broad chest. It felt nice. It felt safe.

“Oh Gabe,” he felt Sam gently stroke his hair. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m sorry I asked. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Gabe took a gulping breath and pulled gently away and looked up into Sam’s face. It was full of concern, his mouth was turned down in sadness and tears were threating to spill over as he looked at Gabriel.

“I’ve just, never told anyone the full story. It was more overwhelming than I thought it would be.” He told him.

“Hey, I understand. I really do.” He pulled out a red handkerchief and handed it to the golden haired man who dabbed at his eyes and blew his nose. “I know what it’s like to lose someone you love in an instant.”

“You do?”

“I had a girlfriend, Jess; we were in a car accident one night. A drunk driver hit us.

Sam let out a bitter huff of a laugh and cleared his throat.

“I remember we were singing to the radio and I looked at her and was like _‘This is the girl I want to marry.’_ The other driver, he ah, ran a stop sign and hit straight into Jess’ side of the car. She was killed on impact, so was the other driver. When I came to, my whole life had been turned on it’s head. I had no idea how to function without her. I was depressed for a long time after her death. I owe a lot to Dean and Bobby getting me back on track.”

Gabriel reached out and gently took Sam’s large hand in his, not liking the other man upset. “I’m sorry Sam. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Sam twisted his hand and linked their fingers together and gave the other man a small smile. “Neither of us deserved that. Life can be cruel sometimes.”

“Yeah it can.” Agreed Gabriel softly.

Their shoulders brushed as they continued to lean against the car, their hands joined, just enjoying the silence.

“So you’ve been raising Anna on your own ever since?”

The shorter man’s body stiffened and he pulled his hand away from Sam’s, wrapping his arms around himself as he stepped away. He wanted to tell someone about Luke, lift some of the weight he felt, but he didn’t want to burden Sam or even his brother with it. He was already putting Castiel in danger if Luke found them, he couldn’t add Sam to that list too.

“Ah no. I had a partner. A boyfriend. But we are, didn’t work out. So I decided to move back here.”

Sam noted the shift in the other man’s posture, but didn’t say anything about it. “Well, I’m glad.”

Turning back to Sam, Gabriel cocked his eyebrow and smirked at Sam, “Oh really? Glad my life sucked enough that I ended up back living with my brother in the small town I ran from?” he teased.

Sam laughed, the somber mood broken. “Maybe not that part. But, glad you found your way back here so we could meet.”

“I’m glad too.” He stepped towards Sam, standing in his personal space, looking up into his unusual colored eyes. Sam pushed off from the car and stood straighter, looking down at Gabriel.

“SAMMY?! GABE?!” Dean’s voice called into the darkness.

Gabriel laughed. “I guess that’s fair. Considering what we did to him and Cas the other night.”

Sam laughed too. “Doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed.”

They both looked over as figured approached in the dark, and Gabriel looked sideways at the taller man. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

“Hey guys! Hiding in the dark? Did I interrupt something?” he wiggled his eyebrows at Sam who rolled his eyes.

“Well you would know all about hiding in the dark wouldn’t you Deano.”

Dean’s skin darkened in the night as he blushed.

“Anyway, it’s getting pretty late and I think Anna is getting tired. She’s probably crashed from all the sugar.

Gabriel groaned. “How many s’mores did she eat?”

Dean counted on his fingers, once he got to his second hand approaching ten, Gabriel through his hands up. “Nope, I don’t want to know.”

“For someone so tiny she can sure put away the food.” Laughed Dean.

“I mean she ate a lot at dinner, it’s a wonder she isn’t sick.” Added Sam.

“Don’t remind me, I’ll probably up all night with her.” Gabe sighed shaking his head.

The three men started to walk back towards the bon fire which had started to die down. Gabe stopped in his tracks at the image in front of him.

“Well would you look at that.” Murmured Dean, as they all paused

Bobby was still by the fire in his wheel chair, the fire lighting his face softly in a warm glow. Anna was sitting on his lap her thin arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder, her eyes slowly dropping as she listened to Bobby tell her a story.  
Gabe was constantly amazed by his daughter. After everything she had witnessed while they were living with Luke, she was never fearful of men. Which would have been totally understandable if she had been. Anna had unique gift, of being able to tell where things belonged and what she could do to help people. Bobby’s usually gruff face and voice were free of the usual harshness that everyone had come to know him by.

“It’s a shame Karen and him never had kids.” said Sam sadly, “He would have been a good dad.”

“He was a good dad to us Sammy, when our own wasn’t.” Whispered Dean.

“Yeah he was.”

“They both look happy.” said Gabe softly. “It’s going to be shame to break them up.”

“You’ll just have to visit more.” Suggested Sam, smiling down at Gabe.

Gabe laughed, “I suppose I could do that.”

Two pairs of eyes flickered over to them at the noise.

“Daddy?” came Anna’s sleepy voice.

“Hey baby.” Gabriel walked forward and crouched in front on Bobby and his daughter. “Ready for bed?”

She nodded sleepily. “Can we stay here?”

Gabriel’s eyes flickered to Bobby’s who just shrugged. “There is a spare room made up if you don’t want to go all the way back into town, but Dean will be heading back in.”

“Maybe not tonight sweetie.” He said brushing hair out of her face. “We have to get back to uncle Cas.”

She just nodded again before lifting her arms and letting her dad pick her up, who pretended to stagger under her weight. “Whoa! Dean was right you ate too many s’mores!” Anna just giggled quietly into his neck before waving a hand out in goodbye to Bobby.

“Bye Bobby. Thank you for the story.”

“You’re welcome honey. I’ll see you soon.”

“Seeya around Bobby. Thanks for having us.” Gabe awkwardly held out his hand around holding Anna. Bobby took the offered hand.

“It was good to see you again son. Don’t be a stranger.”

Sam came and stood by Gabriel, “I’ll walk you to the car. Dean’s just inside wrapping up some food inside for you.”

The shorter man groaned, “He really didn’t have to, Cas keeps us very well fed. And after tonight we might not have to eat for a while.” He said patting his stomach.

“Dean won’t let you leave without them.”

“Well, I guess I have no choice.” Laughed Gabe.

The walked slow towards the Impala, Anna had gone quiet and limp, so Gabe figured she had fell asleep. Sam opened the Impala back door and Gabriel leaned inside and laid Anna down. Her hair fanning over the seat in the darkness. Gabriel turned back to Sam and leaned on the window of the door. “Thank you, for inviting us. Anna had a great time.” He gestured to the sleeping child.

“I’m glad. Did you have a good time too?” Sam asked.

Gabriel gave him a soft smile. “I did, even if it got a bit heavy there in the end.”

Sam looked uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck, “Sorry about that.”

Gabriel reached out and touched Sam’s arm, “It’s okay. I needed to talk about it. And I’m glad it was with you. Someone who understands.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

They stood looking at each other awkwardly.

“Dean is taking a long time.” Commented Gabriel, looking back towards the house.

Sam followed his gaze the house, he knew as much as Dean teased him about Gabe he was also probably giving him time to say good-bye, however he wanted. “Yeah he is. Hey Gabe?”

“Mmm?”

“Can I come and visit you at the ice cream parlor, maybe on your lunch break? We could just talk.”

“I’d like that.” Gabe said quietly.

Sam smiled showing his dimples.

“Hey guys!” Dean called holding a plate high with food and covered in cling film. “Ready Gabe?”

“Sure, I’ll sit in the back with Anna, if you don’t mind.”

“No problem, I know she is out like a light, but if you could get her seatbelt on that would be great.” Dean told him, as he got behind the wheel.

“Of course. Well, I’ll see you around Sammy. Thanks for the invite.”

“Bye Gabe. I’ll see you soon.”

Gabriel slid into the back of the Impala and gathered Anna to his side, buckling her up, before doing his belt up. Sam closed the door quietly on them. Before lifting his hand in fair well. Dean started the car and pulled away slowly. Sam watched it disappear into the dark his hands stuffed in his pockets. He sighed and started walking back to the house, a trail of purple lights flickering in his wake.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Chapter updates seem to be a monthly thing...That isn't how I intended it. Just seem to have happened like that. Plus this month has been insane. From applying for a career change and performing pole and burlesque shows, I have been flat out. I haven't even turned on my laptop til this week.   
> I hope this has been worth the wait ;)

**Chapter 12**

It was very late by the time Gabe entered the darkened house, Anna asleep in his arms. He jumped in fright when Castiel appeared out of the shadows.

“Where have you been?” snapped Castiel, his voice sounding panicked, his eyes darting anxiously.

“I- We met Sam Winchester at the grocery store, he invited us for a barbecue.”

Finally really looking at his brother in the dim light, and his heart clenched in his chest. Something was wrong. Castiel’s usual neat clothes were rumpled, he was wearing the blue tie Rowena had given him but it was on backwards, and his hair was even more of a mess than usual. It looked like he had been running his fingers through it in distress. 

Oh god. 

It was Luke. 

He had found them.

He grabbed his brother’s arm, “Cas, Castiel! Look at me! What happened?”

Castiel finally looked him in the eye, “Nothing. Nothing happened.” He turned away heading for the kitchen, “You could have called, and let me know where you were.”

Gabriel followed his brother clutching the sleeping Anna tightly to his chest. By the time he caught up with Cas, who was in the sun room, pulling on gardening shoes. Castiel spoke to his shoes. “I was worried. I thought…”

“You thought what?” Gabe asked in concern. He had never since Cas like this before and it was scaring him.

“I thought you left.” Whispered Castiel.

Gabriel frowned in confusion. “What? I don’t understand. You thought we left? For good?”  He couldn’t think clearly. It didn’t make sense.

“Cas, I’m sorry I worried you, I should have called, I didn’t think-“

Castiel cut him off mid-sentence, “If you need me, I’ll be in the garden.”

Struggling to breath, Gabriel could hardly get the words out, “Cas, please…”, Castiel’s frustration was leeching the oxygen out of the air. “I told you, we aren’t leaving.”

Castiel let out a breath, “It’s okay.” Before opening the sun room door, leaving a brown smoldering hand print on the door frame.

Gabriel watched his brother cross the drive, unlock the garden gate and disappear into the garden. He rushed to the office and rummaged through the paper work one handed until he found it. He sat down, Anna still sound asleep on his shoulder, and picked up the phone and dialed. He bounced his knee anxiously listening to the dial tone,

“Come on, come on.” He muttered.

“Hello?” came a sleepy voice.

“Dean, hey, it’s Gabe.”

“Gabe? Dude what the hell? I just saw you.”

“I know, but this isn’t about me, it’s about Cas.” He heard the squeak of bed springs on the end of Dean’s line.

Dean’s voice was instantly more alert “What is it? Is he okay?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never seen him like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like a live wire, he is actually singeing things with his energy.”

Gabe heard Dean gulp, “I’ll be right over.”

“The garden gate is open. Just, look after my brother Dean.”

“I’ll try.”

***

The gate was open, just like Gabriel had said, and as Dean pushed it open he was hit with the scent of mint, rosemary and violets. The air was distinctively warmer on this side of the fence, raising goosebumps on his arms. The garden was dark except for the footpath lights, illuminating his way like the lights on a runway. Their golden cast of light showed the apple tree in the back of the lot, twitching in the breeze, but there was no breeze. It reminded him of a dog that twitched in its sleep as it dreamt. The sound of his pajama pants scuffing the ground as he walked was the only sound in the garden.   
Dean finally found Castiel in the herb patch and the image stole his breath.

Castiel was on his knees, his white shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a blue tie was thrown careless over his left shoulder. Dean could see his back muscles shift and flex under the thin material as he worked, raking the ground with a hand pick, a little creased between his eyebrows. His hair was messier than Dean had ever seen it.   
All of a sudden Dean had to bend over and put his head between his knees, taking deep breaths.  
God, Gabriel was right, he was hopeless.   
He was head over heels for the man in front of him.

When he felt he could finally stand without fainting, he slowly walked over to Cas, so he wouldn’t startle him. He was beside him before Castiel finally stopped working. The dried leaves surrounding him were charred black and the plants look wilted as if touched by something hot. Castiel finally turned and looked up at Dean, his eyes were red rimmed as if he had been crying.

Tears always did Dean in. All his students knew it. It only took was a few tears from a student who had too much work and couldn’t complete an assignment for him, and he was giving extensions, and offering to talk to their other teachers for them.

Cas winced when he saw Dean and turned away, “Go away Dean.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.” He snapped as he went back to raking the dirt aggressively.

“Please don’t cry.”

“I’m not. And if I was, what does it matter to you? It has nothing to do with you.”

Dean knelt down beside the other man, “Well tough! I’m making it something to do with me. So tell me what is wrong.”

“I hit my thumb. It hurt.” Castiel replied sarcastically.

“Bull! I don’t think Gabe would have called if you had just hurt your thumb.”

Castiel looked at him slowly, narrowing his eyes, his expression hard. “He called you?”

“He said you were upset.”

Castiel’s jaw worked as he tried to come up with a suitable response, before snapping, his voicing raising at each sentence he got out.

“I can’t believe he called you! Does it ease his conscious if he thinks you will be here when he and Anna leave? You’ll leave too! But he wouldn’t know that because he is always the one that leaves, not the one that gets left!”

“Wait, I’m confused. Gabe is leaving?” Dean asked frowning, “I’m leaving?”

Castiel’s whole body was trembling, “You’ll leave, just like everyone else. Like my grandmother, and my mother and Gabriel.”

Dean reached out to still Castiel’s hands, “Whoa, whoa, calm down Cas.” He dropped Cas’s hands in shock, he felt like he had been burnt. He looked at his own hands they were red and tingling, like he had touched a hot stove top, he shook them, trying to rid himself of the pain. “I’m not going anywhere, and where is Gabe going?”

“I DON’T KNOW! I’M JUST AFRAID HE IS!”

And there it was.

The thing that Castiel was afraid of the most, finally out in the open.   
His words curled in the air around them like smoke.

It all made sense now. Dean remembered how Gabe had told him _He doesn’t like change, or things that go away._ Castiel had been abandoned too many times before. It was why he had tried so hard to push Dean away in the beginning. And now something had upset him to shut himself off again. Too scared to move forward.

“Oh Cas.” Dean said softly.

“Don’t.” whispered Castiel.

Dean watched his Adam’s apple bob as he gulped.

“Please. Don’t look at me like that.”

“I can’t help it.”  Dean reached out and gently touched the mess of dark hair in front of him. He had expected Castiel pull away, but the other man leaned into his touch, closing his eyes, almost in relief. Dean inched forward until their knees were touching, he raised his other hand and cupped his face, making Castiel look at him. He could feel Castiel’s rough stubble under his palms. Castiel leaned forward until he rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ shoulders and ran his hands up and down his back trying to sooth him in any way possible.

“Shh, it’s okay Cas. No one is leaving, I promise.”

He could feel Castiel’s whole body shaking and the shoulder of his grey t-shirt getting damp as Cas silently cried into it.

Finally, after what felt like hours, he pulled away and faced Dean. His eyes were wet and tear tracks marked his cheeks. Dean cupped his face again.

“Cas? Hey, you with me?”

Castiel nodded slowly and lifted his own hands and cupped Dean’s face. Finger tips tracing over his eyebrows, down the ridge of his nose, the seam of his lips, leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. Dean’s lips parted under the pressure and he puckered them to kiss the pad of Castiel’s thumb.   
Dean watched as Cas slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean’s. It was over before it had barely started and Dean chased Castiel’s lips, wanting more. He meet the other man’s lips again and sighed when Cas opened his mouth deepening their kiss. They stayed like that for minutes devouring each other, their hearts beating hard, their hands exploring under each other’s clothes.

Dean pulled away, “Cas…tell me to stop.”

Castiel looked at him, his blue eyes dark with lust, “Don’t stop. Make it better.” His finger’s plucking at Dean’s shirt, trying to get it off.

“I can’t take advantage of you man. Not when you’re like this.”

Cas’ hands went to his own shirt, fumbling with the buttons, his hands shaking. “It’s okay Dean, I want this.”

Dean reached for Cas’ trembling hands stopping them, he ducked his head and waited until Cas look at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, more than anything.”

“Okay than.” Dean replied.

His fingers reached for the blue tie hanging around his neck and loosened it, sliding it slowly free.   
Next, he went to the buttons of Castiel’s white shirt and finished undoing them, before slipping the material off his shoulders. Skimming his hands down the well-muscled arms creating goose bumps on the lightly tanned skin. Castiel had to be the most beautiful person Dean had ever seen.  
He felt Cas tug at his shirt again,   
“Hey, slow down. We can take all the time you need. There is no rush. Do you want this off?” indicating his own shirt.

Castiel bobbed his head “Please,” he whispered, and Dean lifted his arms so the other man could pull his shirt from his body. Trailing his hands over Dean’s chest Cas stopped at a tattoo on his chest; a star inside a flaming circle, before tracing it, feeling the slightly raised skin.

“What’s this?” he asked, studying the design, with his fingertips.

Dean blushed at the scrutiny “It’s, ah, Sam and I got them, when he were younger. It’s supposed to protect us. When we couldn’t be there to protect each other.”

He watched the dark haired man dip his head and kiss the tattoo gently, before nipping at the skin with his teeth. Dean hissed at the sharp pain, but it was soon soothed as he Cas lick over the bite.   
Castiel rested his check over Dean’s heart before slipping his arms around Dean’s waist and straddling his legs. Their naked chests finally met, and they both gasped at the contact, at the heat from the both of them.   
There was so much energy coming from Cas’ skin, Dean didn’t know if he could absorb it all. He felt like he was going to die; _but what a way to go_ , he thought.

He ran his hands from Castiel waist to his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. Their tongues tangling. With a push, Castiel had them falling backwards, never breaking their kiss. The air was filled with the scent of some herb Dean was laying on, Lemon Balm maybe, it all felt very familiar, but he couldn’t place it.   
They came up for air from their kiss when Dean let out a moan as Cas ground down on his groin. The hard line of his cock rubbed against Dean’s own hard cock setting his body alight.

“Dean…?” Castiel sat up, a worried expression on his face.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve never done this before.” Cas’ voice was small, tears threatening to spill over again.

Dean swallowed loudly before reaching up and cupping the gorgeous face above him, his thumbs brushing under blue eyes. “I’ll look after you Cas.”

The dark haired man nodded before lowering himself back down to Dean, who wrapped his arms around Cas’ body and gently rolled them over. A new scent exploded around them, peppermint this time. And again it felt so familiar to Dean.   
He leant down and kissed Cas hard.   
Castiel wound his legs around Dean’s waist in return, one of his hands slid into Dean’s hair, tugging at the strands, the other hand rest on his shoulder. Dean hissed at the heat radiating from Cas’ palm on his shoulder but couldn’t bring himself to tell the other man to let go. Dean was feeling heady, he was drunk on the taste of the man under him, but he couldn’t make love to him, not like this, not when Castiel wasn’t thinking clearly. No matter what he said.

“No don’t stop!” whimpered Cas, when Dean broke their kiss.

“I’m not.” he murmured against the other man’s neck, trailing his lips over the pulse point, as his hands ran over the other mans’ ribs, thumbs brushing over nipples, making him squirm under him, before coming to a stop at Castiel’s sharp hip bones protruding above his black pants. Cas’ abdomen jumped nervously, as Dean popped the button of his pants and slid the zip down.    
He dropped his head and took one of Castiel’s nipples in his mouth, licking at it until it was a pebbled nub than moving onto the next where he noticed a large freckle.   
He continued to kiss his way down the other man’s chest, who was withering under the touch, than over his abs, dipping his tongue into his belly button, making Cas buck under him. When he reached the edge of Castiel’s pants he stopped and looked up and green met blue eyes, asking him silently again if this is what he wanted. Castiel whimpered and petted through Dean’s hair.

“Please Dean. I want this.”

“Okay.” He breathed quietly nuzzling at the hair trailing downwards, breathing in the musky scent of Cas.  
Sliding his hands under Castiel’s hips, Dean started to take pull off the dress pants. With each inch of exposed skin Cas let out needy little noises that went straight to Dean’s cock.  When he got the pants down the Castiel’s muscular legs, he realized he had to stop and take Castiel shoes off. One at a time, he through them over his shoulder, than the pants followed. He kissed the top of each foot, making Castiel squirm and giggle, pulling away.

“Don’t” he laughed, “I’m ticklish.”

Dean smirked down at Castiel. “Is that so?

Seeing the mischievous look on Dean’s face, made Castiel try to pull away more, but Dean was too quick, grabbing both feet in his broad hand and trailing his finger’s lightly over the bottom of them, causing Castiel to shriek with laughter, rolling in on himself. Dean pulled Cas’ legs until they were wrapped around his waist, continuing to run his hands back and forth over the other man’s legs. 

Dean smiled at him, “You know, I’ve never heard you laugh like that. It’s beautiful.”

A pink tinge crept into Castiel’s cheeks in the dim light, “I, very rarely have a reason to laugh, like that anyway.”

“Mmmm. Well,” Dean started to move his hands again from his calves to his knees, than his thighs. “You should do it more. I don’t think I could ever get sick of the sound.” His fingers than traced the dip where his leg joined his body.

“What about here, are you ticklish?” Dean asked. Castiel’s only answer was to take a shuddering breath and bite his lip. “Mmm.”

“Hmmm, maybe not. What about here?” Dean gently brushed his hand over the ridge of Castiel’s cock still hidden in a pair of white boxers.

Castiel arched his back and moaned.

Dean chuckled. “I take it back. That sound, right there, I could listen to forever.”

“Dean please!” begged Castiel.

Dean bent and kissed his cock through the material. Mouthing at it, damping it. Castiel whimpered and thrust his hips up, trying to get more friction, but was denied when Dean held him more firmly and just continued to lavish attention on his cock through the material.

Castiel’s breath was coming in quick gasps and his cock twitched under Dean’s attention but he wanted more. Reaching down he touched Dean’s shoulder, getting his attention, encouraging him to come forward, until their lips meet again and he whimpered into the kiss.

Dean pulled back and studied the face below him. The warm flush on his cheeks, his kiss swollen lips, his untidy dark hair with bits of herbs in it, like some earthly, flowery halo. He carded his fingers through the soft locks.

Cas’s blue eyes studied him too. Dean had never had someone look at him like Cas was looking at him. Like he was the most stunning creation in the universe. Looking at him right down to his very soul.   
He shivered.  
Being with Cas like this, in the garden. He couldn’t explain it, it felt like déjà vu. Which made no sense, he had never been with Castiel like this before.

Then he remembered.

It was a dream. The dream he had the night he first met Castiel.  
He knew exactly what was going to happen tonight, the smell around them, how Castiel would taste on his tongue.   
Everything about Cas screamed fate.   
Everything in his life had led him to this moment and this man.   
After a life time of chasing dreams all over the countryside, he had finally caught one. And he was never letting go.

A hand cupped his face, “Dean?” whispered Castiel, his head tilted to the side, eyes searching.

“I’m here Cas. I’m never letting go.”

Castiel surged forward, their lips met in a fierce kiss, which left them both breathless. Working his way down, Dean lifted Cas’ hips up and pull his boxers off. Castiel’s cock was darker tan than the rest of body and was a bit bigger than average, as it laid on his stomach. Dean wasted no time kissing down the shaft of Castiel cock, before coming back up and licking at the crown, tasting the salty pre-cum there. Only when Castiel started to wither under him, did Dean finally take him in his mouth, sliding down as far as he could and back up, pulling a filthy moan from Cas.

Castiel’s hands flew to Dean’s hair, tugging at it, his breath coming in short sharp pants.

“Dean…” he breathed.

Dean responded by humming around his cock, making Cas buck again. He swirled his tongue around his shaft before halting at the tip and lavishing attention it. Dean had always enjoyed giving head and the slightly same but different taste of each partner. But Castiel tasted different, maybe it was from the herbs he grew and ate, but he was unlike anything Dean had ever tasted before and was by far the best. He hollowed his cheeks as he sunk back down on Cas, chasing his taste.   
He could hear Cas’ quick stuttering pants above him and when he lifts his eyes his is greeted with a sight that had him almost coming in his own pants. With his head thrown back and throat exposed, his chest was flushed and Castiel was clenching his hands by his side. Pulling off his cock with a pop, Dean reached out and took one of the clenched hands in his, opening the palm and threading their fingers together, holding them. His other hand gently stroked at Cas’ balls, rolling them in his palm.

“Let me hear you Cas. It’s okay.”

Castiel hummed his understanding, which soon turned to a low moan as Dean went back to licking and sucking at his cock, “Argh! Dean, please….” He held Dean’s head in place and bucked up into the warm, wet mouth. “Fuck…” he groaned.

Dean nearly chocked on the cock in his mouth when he heard Cas swear, instead him moaned around his cock, leaving Cas a babbling mess. He could feel Castiel’s balls tightening in his hand as he got closer to orgasm. So he decided to brush a thumb over Cas’ puckered hole, circling it.

He heard Castiel gasp and push back against his thumb. Dean kissed at the tip off his cock again.

“Not tonight, but maybe soon.”

The only answer he got was a low whine from the other man, which left him chuckling. He took Cas’ cock in hand and started stroking him.

“I know you’re close baby….come for me Cas.” Dean took Cas’ cock in his mouth and sucked him in one long pull.

Cas’ hips bucked “Dean!” he shouted as his body tensed up and he started coming. Dean felt Cas’ cock twitch and hot cum fill his mouth; he greedily swallowed it all. Loving the unique taste of Castiel.  
He licked up and down Cas’ shaft cleaning him before kissing his hips and his stomach again, working his way up until he was hovering over the other man.

Cas was studying him with hooded eyes and unfocused, his body lax and cheeks flushed. He trailed his fingers over Dean’s shoulders. He seemed to be unable to speak.

“Hey, you okay?” Dean asked.

He nodded, and leaned up for a lazy kiss. He could taste himself on Dean’s lips. It wasn’t great, but wasn’t bad either, just different.

“That was…amazing Dean.”

Leaning down and kissing Cas’ forehead Dean chuckled. “Anything for you Cas.” He rolled off the other man and laid back arms under his head and looked up at the stars. They seemed dull compared to the Cas’ midnight blue eyes. He looked back at the other man who was leaning on his elbow gently and stroking softly over Dean’s stomach. He paused at the elastic of his pants.

“Dean….” Cas started hesitantly. “I could…”

Dean groaned, he really didn’t want to say no, because there was nothing more that he wanted to see than Cas’ pink lips stretched around his cock, looking up at him with those bluer than blue eyes, but Cas wasn’t ready for that. He was only offering the same back because that is what Dean had gave him.

“No.” he managed to get out and he winced at the hurt look on Cas’ face. He caught Cas’ hand in his before he call pull away, lifting it to his lips and kissing the back of it. “Come ‘ere.”

He opened his arms to Cas who slowly sunk down next to Dean, his head pillowed on his chest. His hand resting over Dean’s heart. His hair tickled Dean’s chin.

“It’s not a no, Cas,”

“But why..?” interrupted Cas trying to turn his head to look at Dean, who held him firm.

“Let me finish.”   
He felt Castiel nod against his chest before he continued.   
“It’s not a no. God man, you’ve got to know how much I want you. From the moment I saw you, I was smitten. I knew you were special. But it’s just not about me tonight. Okay? I said I would wait for you to be ready. I will be anything you need until you’re ready. So when you are ready. Completely ready for _us_. That is when I will make love to you, properly.”

They laid together for a long time, Dean running his broad hand up and down Castiel’s arm, he was sure the other man had fell asleep until he felt fingertips tentatively stroking over his chest.

Cas’ voice was a low rumble that he felt through his body. “Thank you Dean. For understanding. For everything.”

Pulling the other man closer Dean nuzzled the fluffy dark hair and kissed the top of Cas’ head.

“Like I told you before Cas. Anything for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you go. Was it worth the wait? I hope it was.
> 
> It has been soooo long since I wrote smut, I second guessed myself the entire time.  
> I mean I should be able to write it, I'm a grown ass women, who has sex. I know what it's like god damn it! Why is it so hard to write?!
> 
> So I hope you like it and please don't be too harsh in the comments. Of course only beta'd by me and mistakes are my own.   
> Until next time :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm sorry this is so delayed. Thank you so much for your patience.  
> I haven't really been feeling this fic and I've been working on another shorter one as well. Head over and check out "The Book of Love"  
> A warning, there will be mentions of past rape and domestic abuse it is at the end of the chapter but again it's vital for the story but if you need to please skip this part.  
> Unbeta'd as always. I've tried my best but I'm really tired. So tired all the time at the moment.  
> I will try to update more regularly but no guarantee.  
> Thank you for reading!

**Chapter 13**

The first thing Castiel noticed the next morning, was a swish of air and a muffled thud near his face. He cracked his eyes slightly in the bright morning light, to see a small pink apple, six –inches from his face. Reaching out he turned it over in his hand. He heard another thud, and another apple appeared near the place the other one had just been. He frowned.  _ Bloody tree _ , he thought. Taking a deep breath he stretched, feeling where the sun had touched and warmed his skin. He had fallen asleep in the garden again. He had done it so often before, that he didn’t even think it was odd anymore.

But something wasn’t right.

The grass seemed a little pricklier against his side, the air cooler on his skin, but his back was incredible warm almost hot. The same heat was radiating on his hip. He shift again but stopped suddenly when he heard a quiet mumble from behind him, and someone pulled him closer, nuzzling into the back of his neck.

“Five more minutes.”

Castiel sat up so fast he made himself dizzy. He touched his forehead as the world spun. He looked down and saw that he was naked and gasped. Last night with Dean in the garden came flooding back to him. All the erotic things Dean had done to him,  _ for _ him. Taking no pleasure for himself.

A hand tentatively touched his back. “Cas?”

Castiel drew his knees to his chest, trying to preserve some kind of modesty in the harsh light of the morning, before turning his face towards Dean.

“Good morning Dean.”

Dean sat up, still in his pajama bottoms, “Hey Cas. You okay?” his green eyes studied him with concern, his hand still rested on Cas’ back. He had dirt and bits herb leaves in his hair. His bare chest had little red welts and burns on it. But the worst burn was on his shoulder, in the shape of Castiel’s hand. Dean didn’t seem to mind. He hadn’t even seemed to mind too much when it had happened last night. But it still made Cas feel guilty about hurting Dean, because he couldn’t contain his emotions.

Castiel bit his lip, as he turned and looked for his clothes. His face burning. Grabbing his shirt from behind him, he shrugged into it, not bothering with the buttons. He couldn’t find his pants. He stopped looking when the black dress pants appeared in front of him.

“Here you go.” Murmured Dean.

“Thanks.” Muttered Cas, taking them and wriggling them on sitting down.

“Cas, please talk to me.”

He didn’t respond to Dean’s question.

“Did I- Did I take advantage of you?” Dean’s voice was strained, trying to hold back, “I shouldn’t have, you weren’t thinking straight. I knew that…”

Castiel reached out and touched Dean’ hand that was resting on the ground beside him, “Dean, Stop.”

Dean stopped, not daring to look at the other man.

Castiel touched his fingertips to the bottom of Dean’s chin tipping his head up to look at him.

“I don’t regret last night.” He leant in and kissed Dean’s plush lips gently. “I meant what I said last night. I wanted that and it was amazing.”

He trailed his hand down, over Dean’s throat along his shoulder, until it fitted it over the burn on Dean’s arm. “I’m sorry for this, I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Dean snaked an arm around Cas’ waist and pulled them together, their foreheads pressed together.

“Don’t. Don’t apologies okay? I barely felt it when you gave it to me and it doesn’t hurt now. I’m happy to have it, because it was  _ you _ , who gave it to me.”

“Dean…”

“Shhh. If you are sure you are okay with last night, than I don’t regret last night either.”

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders and gave him another soft chaste kiss.

“I’m okay.”

Dean smiled into the kiss before breaking it and pulling Castiel into tight a hug.

“Good, because it was pretty incredible for me too.”

“But you didn’t…” Cas trailed off, too embarrassed to actually say come.

Dean chuckled and leaned back to look at Cas, raising his hand and brushed debris out of his hair. “Sex isn’t always about orgasms Cas. Believe me last night was just as good for me, orgasm or not.”

Castiel ducked his head, blushing, a smile playing on his lips.

“So beautiful. A perfect work of art.” Dean complimented him as he watched the other man.

“Stop!” laughed Cas, nudging Dean’s shoulder.

Dean laughed with him, “Hey! I should know, I am an artist. Don’t question my authority.”

Castiel laughed again, before standing up and stretching his arms over his head. Back popping, he let out a groan, “I’m too old to be sleeping it the garden anymore.”

Dean stood too and mirrored him, before picking up his disregarded t-shirt and slipping it back on. 

“Oh,” whined Cas, as Dean pulled his shirt back on over his head.

“What?”

“I- just liked seeing you without it.”

Throwing his head back, Dean laughed, loudly, before stepping towards Cast taking his hands.

“I will take my shirt off for you, whenever you ask. But we can’t have the neighbors seeing me sneaking out of your garden without. Imagine the gossip.” He smirked.

Cas dipped his head before looking up at Dean with a cheeky twinkle in his eyes.

“Well, if that’s the case, maybe you should stay for breakfast?”

Dean raised his eyebrows at the suggestion. “I wouldn’t say no to that. But it depends.”

“Depends on what?”

“Have you decided to stop trying to get rid of me with your special recipes?”

Castiel glared at the other man. “Well I had. But now I’m reconsidering.” He huffed grabbing his tie and pushing past Dean.

Dean chuckled at the display catching the other man’s hand as Castiel brushed passed, pulling him in to kiss the frown on off Castiel’s lips.  

They started to walk towards the garden gate, “But maybe I should go home and freshen up before coming over. Gabe and Anna don’t need to see me in my pjs.”

“That’s true. I don’t think we need to give my brother anymore ammunition for teasing me.”

They paused at the gate, not sure how to say goodbye when they would see each other again soon.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Castiel studied Dean’s face, so open, so caring.

“Okay.” Castiel tilted his face towards Dean’s, who took the invitation, and pressed his lips to Cas’, catching his bottom lip between his teeth, making Cas whimper, before pulling away with a chuckle. He winked at Cas and went back to his house, looking back over his shoulder, waving before he went inside.

Castiel felt like he was floating. He reached his own house and closed the door leaning his back against it and sighed. He couldn’t believe he had spent the night with Dean. He could still smell Dean’s lingering scent on his skin and he was sure he had leaves and grass in his hair. He pushed off the door, planning on having a quick shower before Dean came back, he stepped quietly through the house pass the kitchen, his foot on the first stair, when he heard his brother clear his throat loudly from the kitchen. He closed his eyes and dropped his head, letting out a heavy sigh.

Of course.

He could pretend he hadn’t heard him and continue upstairs, but knowing Gabriel he would just follow. Castiel turned slowly and headed to the kitchen.

Gabriel was sitting at the island bench sipping a cup of coffee, a newspaper in front of him. He looked up, a stern look on his face, but the effect was ruined by the smirk he was trying to hold back.

“And what kind of time do you call this young man?”

Castiel pulled his shirt closed and raised his chin, his eyes narrow, choosing to ignore the comment. “You rang Dean last night.”

“Yes I did. Looks like I made the right call. Did he roll you in the clover Cassie?”

He felt his ears tips go hot, but he rolled his eyes trying to hide his embarrassment “You’re obscene.”

Gabriel cackled. “Oh he did! I knew it! Come on, I need details!”

Shaking his head, Castiel turned and walked away, but he could hear Gabriel following. “I’m not telling you anything Gabriel.”

“Did Dean pop your cherry? I’m your brother, you should be able to tell me anything.”

“Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.” Once he reached the bathroom, he shut the door and locked it, to keep Gabriel out.

“Awww, no fair.” He heard Gabe huff on the other side.

“Dean is coming over for breakfast…” he told his brother through the door. There was no answer and he thought Gabe may have already left and didn’t hear his announcement.

“He’s what?”

“Coming over for breakfast.”

He heard his brother laugh again. “Oh Cassie. Nice work. Fine, me and Anna will stay upstairs. Anna won’t be awake for hours from the sugar coma.”

“No. I didn’t mean that- you couldn’t be there. I just wanted you to know that he was going to be here.” He told his brother through the door.

“Oh no, I do not want to be around for your post sex breakfast.” He tapped on the door playfully, “Wash the sex off little bro, Dean will be here soon.”

Castiel shook his head as he listened to Gabe’s retreating footsteps, before he turned on the shower and started getting ready for the morning.

***

Dean worried his lip as he ended the call. The phone call couldn’t have come at a worse time. He tapped the phone to his lips before placing it down on the bench. He was going to have to go out of town for a few days. Worst of all he was going to have miss breakfast with Cas.

He brooded all the way through his shower, and getting dressed. He pulled his duffle out of his closet and started packing clothes and other essentials. He angrily zipped it up and threw it over his shoulder. He grabbed his phone and charger from the bench and his set of keys from the hook by the door. After locking up he put his stuff into the boot of the Impala, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked slowly over to Castiel’s house. He didn’t really want to do this. He didn’t really want to go away, he didn’t want to let Cas down especially not when he was finally letting Dean in. But he also couldn’t not go. He had people relying on him.

He reached the porch and knocked on the door. His breath left him when Cas opened the door with a wide grin, looking more casual than Dean was used to in pale blue jeans and a grey t-shirt his feet bare. His hair was still damp from the shower he must have taken. He smelt like coconut and limes.

“Dean, hi.” He said breathlessly. “Come in, I’ve just starting to put together the, the ah…What’s wrong?” he tilted his head, frowning when Dean didn’t make a move to come it.

“I can’t come to breakfast. I’ve gotta go out of town for a while.”

Cas’ eyebrows tilted upwards the hurt evident in his eyes. “I thought…we had a good time last night.” He said quietly, looking down.

Dean reached out and caught Cas’ hands. “Hey, yeah I did. We did. Just something has come up and I can’t say no. And it really sucks but I can’t tell you why, because it doesn’t just involve me.”

Castiel took his hands back and folded his arms across his body his expression now stony.

“It’s fine Dean, just go.”

“Cas…please, this has nothing to do with you, or us.”

Castiel pursed his lips and his narrowed his eyes.

“You should go now Dean. Have a good trip.” And he closed the door.

“Cas? Cas! DAMN IT!” Dean thumped his hand on the closed door before turning away dragging his hand over his mouth.

Dean knew this was how Cas was going to react.  Damn it all to hell. He wanted to stay and make Castiel open the door so he could make him understand that Dean wasn’t leaving him or their budding relationship, but he had to get on the road. He did the only thing he could think.

“I dunno if you are still there Cas,” he spoke to the door,  “but, I’m coming back. This has nothing to do with us. Please believe me. I still want to see you when I get back. All those things I said, I meant ‘em. So please, please don’t give up on this. I’ll see you soon.”

Turning, he made his way to the Impala and climbed in. He sat in silence fiddling with the keys, “FUCK!” He yelled hitting the steering wheel. “This better be good.” He muttered as he started the car revving it loudly, peeling away from the sidewalk spraying gravel.

***

Castiel pressed his back against the door letting his head fallback with a thump. What he was feeling now was a far cry what he felt less than an hour ago. His breath was coming in sharp pants and there was pain in his chest. He slid down the door tucking his knees to his chest and hid his face.

He heard his brother calling him, but he sounded like it was coming through water.

“Oh my god Cas!” Gabriel’s hands were on his shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“I, I can’t breathe. My chest. It hurts.”

Gabriel tugged at his arms, pulling him. “Look at me Cas. Are you having a heart attack?”

Castiel shook his head, “Panic.” Was all he could get out.

“Panic attack okay, I can work with that.” He grabbed his brother’s face. “Breathe with me” Gabriel took a deep breath in through his nose, “Now out.” And he let it out through his mouth. They continued until Cas’ breathing evened out and was left only trembling slightly.

“What happened Cas? Where’s Dean?”

“He left.” Castiel hissed.

“Left?”

Castiel took a shaky breath. “He came and said he couldn’t come to breakfast because he had to go out of town. He said he can’t tell me why because it didn’t just involve him. And, and he said it had nothing to do with last night.”

“Well, that’s good.”

Castiel glared at his brother while the lights flickered overhead.

“What?”

“He left.” hissed Cas.

“He’ll be back.”

Huffing Castiel got his feet and wiped at his face, “I knew this was a mistake. He can’t even be honest.”

Gabriel looked up at him from the floor, “I don’t think that’s it Cas. Sometimes you have to keep secrets to protect people.”

“Like you?” he snapped, making the light bulbs explode overhead. both  men flinched as glass shards fell around them. Castiel gasped when he realized what he said. Claping his hand over his mouth when he saw his brother’s face pale. “Gabe, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

Gabe voice was icy as he spoke “Stop Castiel.” 

He got up off the floor, glass crunching under his feet. “I get you’re hurt. I think it’s irrational, but I get it. But you DO NOT, get to treat other people like shit because you feel shit. Now, I’m going back up to see if Anna is awake, and hopefully by the time I come back down, you will have got yourself under control enough to not be dick again.” Gabriel turned on his heels and walked up the stairs slowly his shoulders slumped.

Castiel watched him go silently before he let out a sob and dropped his face to his hands. He felt ashamed and guilty. How could he throw that in his brother’s face? Gabe was right, it was out of line.  He hated feeling so out of control. His emotions were all over the place and he needed to pull himself together. Gabe was probably right. Dean hadn’t left him. He had said last night he wasn’t going to. He had to believe that. And Gabriel had come here to escape something and Castiel had vowed not to push his brother into telling until he was ready. And he threw it back into his face. He wouldn’t be surprised if Gabe didn’t want to stay any longer.

He took a deep shuddering breath, how could he ruin everything so quickly?

***

Gabriel and Anna avoided Castiel for the rest of the day. Instead choosing to pack a lunch and head to the local park. They had fun together just the two of them climbing on the monkey bars and racing on the twin slide. They rounded off their time together by making daisy chains from the white flowers that bloomed around the park edge. Anna had a flower crown nestled in her red hair, and with her big brown eyes she looked almost like a fairy. She sat in her dad’s lap as she finished off a bracelet for him, slipping it onto his wrist. She had already put a flower behind his ear.

“Do I look beautiful?” he asked her, fluttering his eyelashes dramatically, as he hugged her close.

She giggled, “Yes! The most beautiful!”

“I don’t think that’s true, my little fairy queen, you are the most beautiful!” he told her as he started tickling her, leaving her squealing. She managed to get away from him then stopped looking over Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Sam!” she yelled and ran over to him and hugged his legs, mindful this time that he was holding something in his hands.

“Hey Anna!” he gave her a one armed hug. “I like your crown.”

“Thank you! I could make you one too if you’d like!”

“Ah…”

Gabe decided to have mercy on the other man and save him from his daughter.

“What are you doing here Sam?” asked Gabe, coming over to the two.

Sam grinned down at the shorter man.

“Ah you caught me.” He laughed looking embarrassed, “I thought you’d be working, so I bought you coffee.” He held up the tray of take away coffees, “But when I got to the ice cream parlor Charlie told me she had given you the day off seeing you worked yesterday. I just got lucky that I noticed you here. Otherwise I was going to have to drink both these on my own.”

He handed one of the cups to Gabe who took it and took a sip, “Aww, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

They walked over to a picnic table together as Anna went off and collected more daisies for Sam’s creation. They sat close together, like last night, their arms brushing as they drank their coffees, and watched Anna.

“It’s okay. I wanted to.” Sam told him. He started tracing the wood grain of the table before he spoke again, “I, ah, also wanted to tell you I had a good time last night. It’s been a long time since I could just talk to someone about…everything.”

Gabriel bumped his shoulder with Sam’s, “Me too, it was nice. We should do it more often.”

“I could bring you coffee at the parlor on your lunch break.”

Gabe laughed “Are you bribing me to be your friend?”

Sam grinned, “If that’s what it takes.”

A smile played on Gabe’s lips, “Hmmm, didn’t take you to be someone desperate for friends, but who am I to say no to free coffee?”

Sam laughed, showing his dimples and it made Gabriel glow inside.

“So how has your day been, I thought if you had the day off you would have been hanging out with Castiel.”

Fiddling with his coffee cup Gabe sighed. “We kinda had a fight.”

“Oh?” Sam raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah over your brother actually.”

“Dean? Why?”

“He went out of town this morning and left Cas in a mess.”

Sam looked uncomfortable. “He rang me when he was on the road to let me know he was going…away. Said he had to bail on Cas.”

“Mmm, well it might not have been so bad if Cas wasn’t already on edge. Did Dean tell you he spent the night in the garden with Cas?”

“No!” Sam’s mouth was opening and closing, “I, what? Why? I don’t understand.”

Tapping his fingers on the table and pursed his lips, Gabe regarded the other man, before looking to Anna, who was humming away as she made her daisy chain.

“I didn’t tell him where I was last night. It upset Cas and he panicked, so I called Dean over. Next I knew Cas was doing the walk of shame but glowing and saying Dean was coming over. Than he wasn’t and Cas fell apart and we, we had a fight.”

Sam hunched forward. “I’m sorry man. All I can say is Dean isn’t being a dick. There is really something he has to do.”

“Well, that’s what I told Cas, but he wasn’t thinking very clearly.”

Sam shook his head laughing, “Our brothers are idiots.”

“The biggest idiots.” Agreed Gabe chuckling.

They sat in a comfortable silence as they finished their drinks. The heat that was radiating from Sam seeped along Gabe’s side and he found just as comforting and grounding today as he did yesterday and he struggled not to lean into it.

“So, apart from that horrible start to the morning, how has your day been? Do the flowers make it better?” asked Sam gesturing to the flower by Gabe’s ear, who snatched it out of hair, blushing.

“Oh god!”

“No! I like it.”

Sam took his hand and uncurled it. He plucked the flower from Gabe’s palm and slid it back to where it had been moments ago.

“There.” Sam’s gaze lingered on his face, making him blush more until he ducked his head, to hide.

Gabe felt Sam’s gentle finger tips under his chin, to make him look at him, than drop away when he did.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

They swayed ever so slightly towards each other, unable to ignore the pull towards each other…

“SAM! DAD!”

They both jumped apart startled, the spell broken. Sam cleared his throat, and Gabe turned to his daughter.

“What is it Anna?”

She crawled into Gabe’s lap and gestured for Sam to come closer, he tilted his head forward and she placed a daisy necklace around his neck.

“There, now you’re beautiful too. And we all match!”

“Thank you Anna, it’s lovely.” He told her, touching the daisies gently.

They all sat in a slightly awkward silence. Anna unaware what she had potentially interrupted.

Gabriel brushed Anna’s hair behind her ears, “We probably should head back.” He told Sam when he noticed how the light was changing. “I didn’t tell Cas we were going out again ‘cause I was mad at him, so heaven knows the state he will be in when I get back.”

They all stood up, “Yeah sure.” Said Sam, “Are you working tomorrow? I’ll bring the coffee.”

“I’ll be there.” Gabe told him.

“Great! It’s a date!”

Gabe raised his eyebrows at him.

Sam looked horrified when he realized what he said. “I didn’t mean it like that, like a lunch date. Between friends….” He stuttered out than bumped his hip into the table as he backed away. “Ow! Jesus!”

Gabe shook his head chuckling at how clumsy the tall man became when he was flustered,. “Don’t worry Sam I got it. Don’t stress. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, yeah. Do you need a lift? I could drop you home.”

“No, I think we might pick up some dinner to try and butter up Cas, what do you think Kiddo?” he shook her hand to get her attention. “Want take out?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes please!”

“That sounds nice. I hope it goes okay with your brother.”

“I hope so too,” muttered Gabe. “Thanks Sam, we will see you later.

Sam gave them an awkward little wave and left.

Anna and Gabe quickly packed their backpack up and discarded their rubbish.

They walked the short way to the town centre debating what they wanted for dinner. They decided on two large pizzas. Half and half on each, to maximize of the different topping choices.

The walk home was about half an hour and they were lucky enough to see a spectacular sunset. The sky streaked with pale pinks and oranges that bled into red. The breeze picked up and Gabe stopped in his tracks as the smell of Luke cologne wafted around them. He glanced frantically around him, but couldn’t see anyone around them but it felt like they were being watched. The once beautiful sky now felt menacing. The feeling of paranoia settled deep into his bones making him feel heavy.

“No…” he breathed.

“Daddy?” whimpered Anna, she squeezed his hand tightly.

Crouching down he beckoned his daughter closer, “Come here baby.”

She threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her up, still balancing the pizza boxes. Anna nuzzled into his neck trying to hide. Gabe held her close. Her heart beat fast against his chest.

“It’s okay. You’re safe. We’re safe.”

He all but ran home. Once there, he passed the boxes to Anna and he locked the door, followed by the windows. With the final lock sliding home, he let out a breath of relief.   
_There was no way Luke could find them. They were safe._   
If he kept telling himself that it would eventually be true. They wandered into the kitchen and tried to eat their dinner, but the only picked at the toppings, both of them had lost their appetite. The house was entirely too quiet and Gabe wondered where his brother was. Maybe Castiel was in the garden. But for now that was the least of Gabriel’s worries.

“Can I go to bed?” asked Anna quitely.

Gabe nodded. “Sure sweetie. You should have a bath first though.” They left the pizza out, Gabe would come down later and put it away.

Anna sat in the bathtub, her thin legs pulled to her chest, making herself into a ball. Gabe picked the flowers out of her hair before he lathered it with shampoo. She was too quiet, and it was starting to worry Gabe. She didn’t even flinch when water was poured over her head to wash the soap out, she just closed her eyes.

Bundling her in a fluffy towel, Gabe got her out of the tub and dried her off.

“Daddy?”

“Mmm?”

“I don’t want Luke to find us. I don’t want him to hurt you anymore.”

Gabe swallowed, as he helped her into her pajamas, “Anna, honey, he won’t find us. I promise. He can’t hurt us anymore.”

“But what if he does?”

He shook his head. “He won’t.”

“Then why do we keep smelling his perfume?”

“It’s nothing. We’re safe here, and happy. Aren’t you happy?”

She bobbed her slightly. “Yes.” she traced his face with her little hand,  “And you are starting to be happy again and I don’t want him to ruin it.”

He pulled her into a hug. “He won’t. Do you want to sleep in my room or yours?”

“Yours.”

“Okay.” He lifted her up and carried her to his room and tucked her into his bed. He stayed with her stroking her hair until she went to sleep.   
There was no comforting splashes of moving purple lights on the wall tonight because Dean was away.    
He left the room closing the door softly. There was a light coming from under Castiel’s bedroom door. At least he was inside and Gabe wouldn’t have to let him. He debated going in and talking to him, but decided to plate up some food as a peace offering.

A few minutes later, he knocked on his brother’s door.

“Cas?”

“Come in.” came a quiet voice.

He pushed the door open to see Castiel sitting in bed, a book resting against his tented knees. A pair of reading glasses on the bridge of his nose.

“I come bearing gifts.” Gabe held up the plate and glass of juice he had brought than frowned. “I didn’t know you had glasses.”

Castiel gave him a soft smile; “Just for reading,” he tucked a bookmark in his book and put it and his glasses to the side before he took the offered food. “Thank you Gabe.”    
He placed the food and drink on the bedside table too. He didn’t look up at Gabriel, instead fiddling with the doona cover, flattening it over his knees.    
“I need to apologize for this morning. You were right. It was out of line. I’m not used to these emotions, but that doesn’t mean I can take them out on you. I know that your past is private and I don’t expect you to tell me until you are ready. I know that whatever you are running from and why you can’t tell me is to protect Anna and the last thing I want to do is put her in danger.”

Gabe came and sat on the edge of the bed sighing. “Not just Anna, Cas. You and anyone else close to me.” His heart was fluttering at the confession. Was he really going to do this? He swung his legs up onto the bed and laid down, looking at the ceiling. God he wished he could tell this story in the dark, so he wouldn’t have to see Cas’ face.

“You want the truth?” he asks, not looking at Cas.

 The bed shifted and glancing sideways, he saw his brother mirror is position, his hands folded over his chest. “Only if you want to tell me.”

“You know I went to New York.”

“Yes.”

“Well, I went straight there when I left.  Got a place in a share house with some young wannabe actors who used me as a way to perfect their accents while I learnt to get rid of mine. I worked in some bars which had open mic nights not just for karaoke. So I started to get in some practice with stand up. And I wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t enough to keep me totally afloat you know.”

Gabe paused sucking in a breath.

“You started stealing, right?” came Cas’ quiet voice.

Turning his head Gabe looked at his brother. “How did you know?”

“Because that’s what mom did too.”

Gabe nodded,“I didn’t know, but it makes sense. At first it was giving the wrong change, than charging them wrong at the end of the meal, right up to pick pocketing. If it was ever questioned it was usually smoothed over by the manager, and that usually happened because I was sleeping with them. When the heat got too much I would move on and disappear.”

“I moved around a lot. After New York, I went to Chicago, than San Francisco, Vegas, than finally Seattle. I had to steal an identity and I became Lachie Richardson. I had no one and nothing to tie me down. It was kinda lonely. Until I met Kali in Seattle. I was working in a hotel there, bartending when we met. She hated me.”

Castiel snorted. “Of course she did.”

Gabe grinned, “So I of course took it as a challenge. We didn’t actually start dating until twelve months later. She was a wild and unpredictable as the ocean and I didn’t want her to ever change. She was big in real estate and I was pouring drinks. I had nothing to offer her. But I wanted to be better because of her. I stopped stealing got myself together. When we found out we were pregnant, I proposed,”

He heard his brother’s sharp intake of breath.

“But she said no. She didn’t want that. She liked our lives the way they were no piece of paper was going to change that. But I still want to provide for my family so we got a place together, I got a second job and life continued. Nothing could have prepared us for the birth. Kali labored for days and then suffered a haemorrhage when Anna was finally born.” He stopped when his throat constricted too much talk.

Tears stung his eyes, but it didn’t hurt as much to tell Castiel as it had to tell Sam. Maybe talking about it was getting easier. He felt Castiel’s hand creep into his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I was on my own with a newborn and no support. She was six-months old when I met Luke.” He whispered, is hand tightening around his brother’s.

“Luke was a dream. A knight in shining armor. He was handsome and made me laugh when I thought I never would again. And he doted on Anna. She was such a good baby I don’t think anyone could of hated her. It was rash, but I moved in with him after only two months of knowing him. Things were a dream.” He swallowed loudly, “Until they weren’t.”

Gabe could feel his body start to shake and his heart rate take off. He opened his mouth to continue but no words would come out. The bed shifted and suddenly the room was plunged into darkness. He blinked rapidly trying to get his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Castiel squeezed his hand again.

“Is that better?” he asked.

“Yes.” Gabe choked out, he took a deep breath and continued his voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Luke was drunk the first time he hit me. I ended up with eight stiches that night. And Luke apologized and everything was fine. B-but it kept happening. And I, I for a long time, kept making excuses for him. Like it was my fault that dinner wasn’t ready, or that I should have had his clothes ironed for his big meeting. That Luke was tired and I should have been a better partner. More put together, more accommodating. He had took us in and I was clearly not good enough. No matter what I did.”

“That’s not true Gabe.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, it’s what he made me believe! It got too much, I was scared, but I had to protect Anna. So I left. I drove and drove until I found a little town that seemed safe. I had some money from before so was able to rent a flat, got enrolled in that craft confectionery course and got a job in a bakery. We had been there for about eight weeks. And Luke found us. He took me from my workplace and beat me so bad I thought I was going to die. He ah,-”

Gabe stopped and clenched his teeth together so hard his jaw hurt but it didn’t stop the tears from finally falling.

“He raped me in the back of his car.”

He heard his brother swallow loudly, “Gabe…” Castiel’s hand was holding his so tightly it was hurting. The bones pinched together but the pain grounded Gabe enough to continue his story.

“Please, let me get it all out.”

“Okay.”

“After, he told me it was my own fault and he had to do it. He picked up Anna and we went back to Seattle where he continued to make my world smaller and smaller. The abuse continued both the physical and the….” He couldn’t say it again.

“I never thought I would get out. I owe everything to a lady called Pamela. She was the only one game to talk to me and worked out what was happening. She got me the heap of junk in the garage and gave me enough courage to even leave. I came here because Luke only knew me as Lachie. He doesn’t know my real name or Anna’s. Or where I came from originally.”

“How did he find you last time?”

“The car I took. It was his. He reported it stolen.”

“Gabe…”

“So that’s everything. Now you know. If Luke finds us…he will kill me and anyone helping me. I should have told you before now. But I was ashamed and scared.”

An arm worked around his shoulders and pulled him in.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of Gabe. No one deserves what you’ve been through. I can’t imagine what it was like. But you survived and still raised Anna.”

Gabe let out a choked sob as he buried his head in his brother’s shirt and clung to him. It had been so long since anyone had shown him any kindness, and since moving here, the kindness of strangers was overwhelming, but even more so from his brother. A brother who until now had shown him little affection his entire life. Castiel let him cry just holding him tight. When his tears finally ran dry, he pulled away and wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his hand.

“Do you think it's possible, that Anna will forget everything she saw Luke do to me? I tried to shield her from it but I know she still saw.” He asked, “I want to erase everything she saw. Do you think it’s possible for her to forget?”

Castiel’s silence was enough. No, it wasn’t possible to erase what she saw. Castiel never had forgotten his early life with their mother and it had made him the way he was.

“Anna isn’t like me though.” Was all he said into the darkness.    
“Do you smell that?” he asked suddenly. “It’s like cologne?”

Gabriel’s body had gone stiff. “It’s his. It’s Luke’s. I brought that memory here.”

Castiel threw the covers over Gabe hiding him. Gabe buried further under the covers, and let Castiel tuck him in.

“Daddy?” came a scared voice from the doorway.

Gabe turned to the voice,peeking out from under the covers.

“Anna? Quick get in.” and he mimicked his brother opening the bed covers to let his daughter in covering all three under the blankets. She crawled between them where they both wrapped their arms around her hold her close. They heard the upstairs windows slowly open letting the bad memory of Luke drift away into the night.

 


End file.
